tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19821821.post7214848326725147548..comments2024-02-15T03:20:23.257-08:00Comments on Motherhugger: Parent EnvyMotherhuggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00049338293799598948noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19821821.post-83951644424010476712012-07-23T02:31:42.973-07:002012-07-23T02:31:42.973-07:00This was so fascinating to read, because I've ...This was so fascinating to read, because I've just been really noticing that my friends with children don't invite me to events and activities anymore. They just do things with their friends with kids and I have to invite myself to the kids' birthdays if I want to go! I'd love to be more engaged in the lives of my friends' children, but it's the first time in my life I've felt a bit sad about not having siblings because I don't get to play an aunt role in a solid way where I can't be overlooked. My friends call me 'Aunty Jess' to their kids and when I am in their presence, they seem to enjoy it, but don't seem to ever take me up on my offers to babysit and I've noticed that past the first birthday, I don't get invited to the parties anymore. And I know it's not because they're worried about my care of their children (I have a degree in early childhood education and PLENTY of experience) or they don't want me around - it just seems I am simply overlooked when planning kid-based activities, because they assume that I might not want to be involved in something so kid-focused. That's hilarious in itself, because I have been trying to become a parent for several years now, so they know I enjoy children, and would love to spend more time with their family unit.<br /><br />Anyway, interesting to see things from different perspectives as always!Never Mindhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05915557636173911410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19821821.post-15026946186922280342012-07-22T22:26:42.400-07:002012-07-22T22:26:42.400-07:00It is really hard when everyone is busy with their...It is really hard when everyone is busy with their lives. People around us seem to rely on the grandparents HEAPS which astounds me a bit. My mum had a child after me with Down Syndrome and so she was always busy enough without having to help us out. The friendship thing is hard. I’ve realised that many of my past friendships were based on me helping them with things and found that when I had more children and less time for helping them, they drifted away. But then I also I find I have so little time now that when I do have time, the last thing I want to do is to sit and chat and catch up with friends! So maybe it’s good I’ve got none left??? Family life is hard and I think it does require support and friendships and conections with people at different stages of their lives. When I had the twins and my partner had to work interstate often, an old friend of my older sister would come and help me bath the babies. Her children were grown up, she lived alone and had no grandkids and is a practical salt of the earth person who volunteered so be part of the mayhem. And she was in the perfect situation to have the time to help me. Thank goodness! I really enjoyed this post. It's got me thinking...sister outlawshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06836867834737377335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19821821.post-58915720910618593212012-07-22T00:01:08.022-07:002012-07-22T00:01:08.022-07:00Hi Sister Outlaw.
I am from a large family. My mo...Hi Sister Outlaw. <br />I am from a large family. My mother has had a disability for the past 30 years, and my siblings all work and all but one have their own children. Two are single parents. One has a child with Down Syndrome, and one with diabetes, and all my nieces and nephews are significantly older than my kids. My sister died of cancer four years ago, leaving four children - they were teenagers or young adults at the time. So, you can see, me and my kids haven't been a priority in the family.<br />And when I was pregnant with my third child, the person I considered my best friend dropped me, by letter, because I wasn't being supportive enough of her. There was more to it than that, but that's what she said.<br />Even though I'm disappointed that more adults haven't been involved in my children's lives, I can't say for certain that I would have been any different if I hadn't had kids.<br />Before you have children of your own, you really have no idea, and don't really think about helping. After I had my first, I rang my friend who was a single mum and apologised for not helping her more. <br />There is such a big division between people with children and people without.Motherhuggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00049338293799598948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19821821.post-6870590044723003612012-07-21T21:25:51.823-07:002012-07-21T21:25:51.823-07:00They don't sound like good friends. However, I...They don't sound like good friends. However, I know when my sister had children two of her good friends told her they only wanted to see her without her kids. They said she was different with the kids and they wanted her attention. I do find it hard to have time for friends and for socialising. I also feel like one of my oldest friends, who doesn't have children, is so out of touch with the realities of my life that we may as well be on different planets - yet she sometimes expresses that she wishes she had what I have i.e. children - but when she is here she totally ignores the children and barely engages with them! As for help - it's a shame you don't have more family support and like you my small children have never had outings or stayed overnight anywhere but I'm hoping that their older cousins will get involved one day. I'm lucky to have a large family.sister outlawshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06836867834737377335noreply@blogger.com