I have received a notice about an upcoming conference by MIRCI in Toronto on Motherhood Activism, Advocacy, Agency. I receive these kinds of notices quite frequently. The reason I want to share this one is because I was struck by the range of titles the speakers at the conference have written. And by the kind of work women are doing - advocacy work that is important. I'm finding it reassuring and inspiring that women are doing this work. So here is the list of Confirmed Keynote Speakers:
Cindy Sheehan, Peace and Social Justice Advocate
Gayle Brandeis, National Staff, CODEPINK: Women for Peace
Tara Brettholtz, President, Mothers and More
Deborah Byrd, Lafayette College, co-editor of Teaching Against the Isms
Cheli English-Figaro, President Emerita of Mocha Moms, Inc.
Rachel Epstein, Coordinator, Sherbourne Health Centre's LGBTQ Parenting Network
Robbie Davis-Floyd, University of Texas, Austin, author of Birth as an American Rite of Passage
Ariel Gore, founding editor of Hip Mama
Fiona J. Green, University of Winnipeg, author of Feminist Mothering in Theory and Practice, 1985-1995
Diana Gustafson, Memorial University, author of Unbecoming Mothers
Pat Gowens, founder of Welfare Warriors, editor of Mother Warriors Voice.
Erika Horwitz, author of Mothers' Resistance to the Western Dominant Discourse on Mothering
Amber Kinser, East Tennessee State University, author of Motherhood and Feminism
Jeanette Corbiere Lavell, President, Native Women's Association of Canada (NWAC)
D. Memee Lavell-Harvard, President, Ontario Native Women's Association (ONWA)
D. Lynn O'Brien Hallstein, Boston University, author of White Feminists and Contemporary Maternity
Andrea O'Reilly, York University, Founder/Director, MIRCI
Karen Shain, Policy Director, Legal Services for Prisoners with Children
Wow. So, on International Women's Day, I want to say thankyou to all the women who are doing this kind of work.
And to all the people who work in agencies that provide microloans, train community health workers, dig wells, distribute mosquito nets and other work in developing countries - thankyou.
I'll end with some quotes distributed by MIRCI on International Women's Day.
"[Mama]...maintained traditional family values and still worked toward change. I have come to realize that I can be a mother, educator, wife, feminist - each identity not exclusive of the other but impacting on each other and on my development as a woman."
- Karen Diaz, Author
"Empower women and you will see a decrease in poverty, illiteracy, disease and violence."
- Michaelle Jean, Journalist; Stateswoman
"Feminism's agenda is basic: It asks that women not be forced to 'choose' between public justice and private happiness."
- Susan Faludi, Journalist; Author
"A free race cannot be born of slave mothers."
- Margaret Sanger, Nurse; Activist
For facts and figures about gender inequality, click here:
http://www.unicef.org/gender/index_factsandfigures.html
motherhood activism Australia, maternal feminism
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Bike Rides and Pop Music Lessons
My ten year old and her friends are at the age where they are visiting each others’ homes and going for bike rides. It’s lovely. After school and on the weekends we’ll have a knock on the door and off the girls go. Sometimes they ride together to visit another friend, that friend hops on her bike and off they go to visit another friend, until it is time to unwind it all and be home before dark. They’re free-ranging. Popping in for games and a snack. Going for picnics. I like it.
One of her friends, lets call her Elle, is the daughter of my dear friend, lets call her Jay. (So cryptic, for local players...). They don’t have a lot of music in their household. They have a lot of compassion, wholesome food, recycling, simplicity, reading, kindness and lots of good things, but not much music. I don’t think Jay would be insulted if I say she wouldn’t know a Bieber from a Beatle. She admits she couldn’t sing a song the whole way through - she doesn't know the words. I was a bit surprised when Jay bought Elle a book of popular music to play songs from - she plays flute - and Elle knew none of the hundred songs. None. I suggested she do some research on youtube, which she did. So, with permission, I’ve taken it upon myself to give her family cds as gifts for their birthdays, and offer Elle a little lesson in popular music whenever she sits down for afternoon tea before going for a bike ride.
It started when she came over the other day and there was a Q magazine on the table. It was an old “Women in Rock’ issue with Madonna on the cover. (I was once working on a series of drawings of Women in Rock.) She didn’t know who Madonna was. So the lesson began, with pictures, albums, music, and my potted history on why certain aspects of her work are influential or important in terms of pop culture. As the girls put on their bike helmets I said, ‘Next week, Kate Bush.’ Half joking. But, next week, we did cover Kate Bush, in ten minutes. So now, it is our thing. It’s fun. Next week is Joni Mitchell. I’m thinking I’ll move on to Burt Bacharach, Phil Spector, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, and on forever until they get sick of me. My own children are a little bit eye-rolling with my enthusiasm to teach them certain things (‘who’s singing this song?’), so having a new pupil is, for me, a gift.
One of her friends, lets call her Elle, is the daughter of my dear friend, lets call her Jay. (So cryptic, for local players...). They don’t have a lot of music in their household. They have a lot of compassion, wholesome food, recycling, simplicity, reading, kindness and lots of good things, but not much music. I don’t think Jay would be insulted if I say she wouldn’t know a Bieber from a Beatle. She admits she couldn’t sing a song the whole way through - she doesn't know the words. I was a bit surprised when Jay bought Elle a book of popular music to play songs from - she plays flute - and Elle knew none of the hundred songs. None. I suggested she do some research on youtube, which she did. So, with permission, I’ve taken it upon myself to give her family cds as gifts for their birthdays, and offer Elle a little lesson in popular music whenever she sits down for afternoon tea before going for a bike ride.
It started when she came over the other day and there was a Q magazine on the table. It was an old “Women in Rock’ issue with Madonna on the cover. (I was once working on a series of drawings of Women in Rock.) She didn’t know who Madonna was. So the lesson began, with pictures, albums, music, and my potted history on why certain aspects of her work are influential or important in terms of pop culture. As the girls put on their bike helmets I said, ‘Next week, Kate Bush.’ Half joking. But, next week, we did cover Kate Bush, in ten minutes. So now, it is our thing. It’s fun. Next week is Joni Mitchell. I’m thinking I’ll move on to Burt Bacharach, Phil Spector, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, and on forever until they get sick of me. My own children are a little bit eye-rolling with my enthusiasm to teach them certain things (‘who’s singing this song?’), so having a new pupil is, for me, a gift.
Where do Motherhugger guests come from??
I've been checking out where visitors to the site come from, and have been surprised the find the answer. Everywhere!
From the US, UK, Canada, Russia, Malaysia, South Korea, China, Israel, India, France, Sweden, Slovenia, Netherlands, Brazil, Latvia, Poland, Germany, Denmark, UAE, Indonesia.
Wow. Welcome. Feel free to leave a comment, and let me know where you are from.
From the US, UK, Canada, Russia, Malaysia, South Korea, China, Israel, India, France, Sweden, Slovenia, Netherlands, Brazil, Latvia, Poland, Germany, Denmark, UAE, Indonesia.
Wow. Welcome. Feel free to leave a comment, and let me know where you are from.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Music for kids to dance to
I've been helping the teacher who organises the school dance groups with ideas for music the kids can dance to. We have over a hundred children in the dance groups this year - pretty amazing!
She agrees that we won't introduce them to songs that warrant a warning sticker. That we need different types of music for the older and younger kids, for the boys and the girls, ie, music that appeals to them, but we want to avoid giving stereotyped gender messages. And we agree that we won't be using music that contains lyrics we could change because if the children think the dance is about one thing and the audience thinks it is about another, then that isn't being respectful to the children (and frankly, I'd go so far to say, it's exploitation).
The teacher takes her cues from School Spectacular. She's had some great ideas that have worked really well - a very moving Anzac dance, a Japanese dance, a spooky dance, an air hostess dance, a Michael Jackson medley, a circus dance (without Brittany) - and likes the idea of having a theme so she can work with different groups on different songs, then put them together. I looked up some sites where dance teachers share their ideas - very disappointing. Lots of Barbie Girl, Hannah Montanna, and Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend.
I’m sharing some great dance ideas I’ve seen - because it’s all very well to say kids shouldn’t be dancing to this or that because the lyrical content is too adult, and that just dancing to Disney songs - the songs from the animated movies and the songs from current tween stars - is lazy, but then what? I love a good concept dance. I want children to know that music and dance (and art and literature) can be about anything. Any concept or idea or situation. I am the apeman. I am the walrus.
Anzac dance to I was Only 19, Oxygene
Japanese dance in kimonos
Flight attendant dance to Come Fly with Me
circus dance
spooky dance to Horror Movie, Ghostbuster, The Addams Family
garden dance to U2’s It‘s a Beautiful Day
Wild Thing & Born to be Wild - for Where The Wild Things Are dance
Wizard of Oz Dance to Ease on Down the Road
Transformer
School bullying dance to Caught in the Crowd - Kati Miller -Heidke
Istanbul not Constantinople - They Might be Giants
Aboriginal dance to Treaty
Theme to Six Feet under
Me and My Shadow
Theme from Friends
So, here is my list of ideas - a work in progress. I'm going for songs for primary school age kids, so the stage after dancing to Hi-5 and Justine Clark and Ralph's World. We have six year old boys who love Abba, and eleven year old boys who love Gorillaz. With Banjo bringing in songs each week to dance to for Year 1 news (mostly Cyndi Lauper), I reckon I have few more years of this ahead of me.
Working on the list has reminded me of what hip hop/rap was when it began. Songs like Fire by Sly and Robbie. Television (The Drug of the Nation) by Disposable Heroes of Hiphopracy. Grand Master Flash singing The Message, We Got Style and (not for kids) White Lines. They made protest songs. What happened?!?!
Feel free to add - it's a fun game to play!
Ideas for dance groups
For boys
Real Wild Child - Iggy Pop
War, What is it Good for - Edwin Starr
Computer Games - Mi-Sex
Evolution of dance
Should I Stay or Should I Go - The Clash
Eagle Rock - Daddy Cool
Crocodile Rock - Elton John
Jump - Van Halen
Don’t Stop me Now - Queen
Radio Gaga - Queen
Shout - Johnny O’Keefe
Twist n Shout - Beatles
Helter Skelter - Beatles
Band on the Run - Wings
Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones
Break on Through - The Doors
Footloose
The Jam - Going Underground
Bad Moon Rising - Credence Clearwater Revival
Muse - Knights of Cydonia (instrumental)
Stand - REM
Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads
Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel
The Final Countdown - Europe
Underneath the Radar - Underworld
One Step Beyond - Madness
King of the Road
Little Green Bag
Possibly songs by Foo Fighters, The Who, The Beach Boys, Cream. Guns n Roses, Led Zep, Bon Jovi
Beginning of Hip Hop - protest songs
Television (the drug of the nation) - Disposable Heroes of Hiphopcracy
We Got Style - Grandmaster Flash
The Message - Grandmaster Flash
Fire - Sly and Robbie
Robot Boys (on tv talent show) popping mix - see their style - music without lyrics
Psychedelic/Rock
Higher Ground - Stevie Wonder/ Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Are you Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz
White Room - Cream
Kashmir - Led Zep
Stairway - Led Zep
Children of the Revolution - T Rex
The Porpoise Song - The Monkees
Tin Soldier - Small Faces
Sky Pilot - Eric Burden and the Animals
Itchycoo Park - Small Faces
Tomorrow Never Knows/Strawberry Fields Forever/ Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds/I am the Walrus - Beatles
Somebody to Love - Jefferson Airplane
Crosstown Traffic - Jimi Hendrix
Magic Carpet Ride - Steppenwolf
Hole in My Shoe - Traffic
McCarthur Park - Richard Harris/Donna Summer
Drama to act out
Tenterfield Saddler - Peter Allen
Caught in the Crowd - Kate Miller - Heidke
General
Living for the City - Stevie Wonder
Bjork - It’s Oh So Quiet
Sufjan Stevens - Chicago
I like to move it - Madagascar Soundtrack
Your mama don’t dance and your daddy don’t rock n roll - Poison
Higher Ground - Stevie Wonder
Conga - Miami Sound Machine
Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles
Popcorn - Jean Michel Jarre
Wake Me Up Before You Go Go - Wham
Spinning Wheel - Earth, Wind and Fire
Sat in Your Lap - Kate Bush
Gypsy Kings
Pablo Nutini - Pencil Full of Lead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twuzki0ZpDo
- New Shoes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmbUNF1Q4R8&ob=av3el
Sergio Mendes - Magdalenha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoblz9g13NA
Sergio Mendes - What is This
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiC1XSXa2dk&feature=related
Bustop/Umberella/Rain
http://www.epinions.com/content_3266093188
Bustop - the Hollies
Umbrella - Rihanna (or cover - by The Baseballs, Mandy Moore etc)
The Bustop
Singing in the Rain
Pennies from Heaven
Laughter in the Rain
Imagination
Pure Imagination - From Willy Wonka
Imagine - John Lennon
I got to use my imagination - Gladys Knight & The Pips
Just my Imagination - The Temptations
Spy songs
Peter Gunn Theme
James Bond themes
Every Breath you Take
One Way or Another - Blondie
Seasons
It Might as Well be Spring
Summertime
Autumn Leaves
Winter Wonderland
Radio songs
Radio Gaga - Queen
Turn up the Radio
Mexican Radio
Ann Margaret dancing - 60s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiJ7uQfogKA&feature=related
The Baseballs - I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’
The Baseballs - Lets get Loud
Swing Dancing
Sunrise/sunset
Waterloo sunset
Red Sails in the Sunset
Musical
http://www.broadway.com/
When You’re a Jet - West Side Story
Spiderman
The Addams Family
Wicked
Mary Poppins
Annie Get your Gun
Peter Pan
The Sound of Music
Cats
Annie
42 Street
Oliver
The Music Man
Into the Woods
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
http://musicals.net/?shows=1
Camp Rock II - Can’t Back Down
Moulin Rouge
Happy Feet
Coffee in a Cardboard Cup
Beat
The Beat Goes on
Beat It
Beat’s so Lonely
You Can’t Stop the Beat
‘Stop scratching and give me a beat ‘ - Nina Cherry
Don’t Stop Movin’ - S Club 7
Dr Beat - Miami Sound Machine
Rhythm
Rhythm is a dancer
Rhythm of the Night
Get Rhythm (when you get the blues) - Johnny Cash
Slave to the Rhythm - Grace Jones
Rhythm Nation - Janet Jackson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAwaNWGLM0c
Hit me with your rhythm stick (?) - Ian Dury
I Got Rhythm (from An American in Paris)
Rhythm of my Heart - Rod Stewart
The Rhythm of Life (from Sweet Charity)
Music
Music - Madonna
You Can’t stop the Music - Village People
Please don’t stop the Music - Rihanna
Rock and Roll Music - Beatles
The Sound of Music
When the Music’s Over - Doors
Dance to the Music - Sly and the Family Stone
We Belong to the Music - Miley Cyrus
Lolly shop
I Want Candy - Bow Wow Wow
Lollipop - Chordettes
Sugar Sugar - The Archies
Cake Walk like on Soul Train, to a Sly and the Family Stone song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POKipOsa-8A&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POKipOsa-8A&feature=related
If you click these links you'll see lots of songs by topic (eg, colour, day of the week, transport, time, animals, food) - a great resource!
http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/Time
http://www.nutsie.com
You can check out which songs are appropriate for what ages, and why, here. I really recommend it. This is a great resource. You can also search by genre.
http://www.commonsensemedia.org
More advice here
http://dancefullout.com/2010/10/dance-music/
And information on young people and the media here.
http://www.youngmedia.org.au/
I've already written about cds for kids - have a look here
http://motherhugger.blogspot.com/2010/03/from-hi-5-to-lady-gaga-music-for-kids.html
And I’ve written a list of questions for dance schools here.
http://motherhugger.blogspot.com/2010/11/letter-to-dance-school.html
She agrees that we won't introduce them to songs that warrant a warning sticker. That we need different types of music for the older and younger kids, for the boys and the girls, ie, music that appeals to them, but we want to avoid giving stereotyped gender messages. And we agree that we won't be using music that contains lyrics we could change because if the children think the dance is about one thing and the audience thinks it is about another, then that isn't being respectful to the children (and frankly, I'd go so far to say, it's exploitation).
The teacher takes her cues from School Spectacular. She's had some great ideas that have worked really well - a very moving Anzac dance, a Japanese dance, a spooky dance, an air hostess dance, a Michael Jackson medley, a circus dance (without Brittany) - and likes the idea of having a theme so she can work with different groups on different songs, then put them together. I looked up some sites where dance teachers share their ideas - very disappointing. Lots of Barbie Girl, Hannah Montanna, and Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend.
I’m sharing some great dance ideas I’ve seen - because it’s all very well to say kids shouldn’t be dancing to this or that because the lyrical content is too adult, and that just dancing to Disney songs - the songs from the animated movies and the songs from current tween stars - is lazy, but then what? I love a good concept dance. I want children to know that music and dance (and art and literature) can be about anything. Any concept or idea or situation. I am the apeman. I am the walrus.
Anzac dance to I was Only 19, Oxygene
Japanese dance in kimonos
Flight attendant dance to Come Fly with Me
circus dance
spooky dance to Horror Movie, Ghostbuster, The Addams Family
garden dance to U2’s It‘s a Beautiful Day
Wild Thing & Born to be Wild - for Where The Wild Things Are dance
Wizard of Oz Dance to Ease on Down the Road
Transformer
School bullying dance to Caught in the Crowd - Kati Miller -Heidke
Istanbul not Constantinople - They Might be Giants
Aboriginal dance to Treaty
Theme to Six Feet under
Me and My Shadow
Theme from Friends
So, here is my list of ideas - a work in progress. I'm going for songs for primary school age kids, so the stage after dancing to Hi-5 and Justine Clark and Ralph's World. We have six year old boys who love Abba, and eleven year old boys who love Gorillaz. With Banjo bringing in songs each week to dance to for Year 1 news (mostly Cyndi Lauper), I reckon I have few more years of this ahead of me.
Working on the list has reminded me of what hip hop/rap was when it began. Songs like Fire by Sly and Robbie. Television (The Drug of the Nation) by Disposable Heroes of Hiphopracy. Grand Master Flash singing The Message, We Got Style and (not for kids) White Lines. They made protest songs. What happened?!?!
Feel free to add - it's a fun game to play!
Ideas for dance groups
For boys
Real Wild Child - Iggy Pop
War, What is it Good for - Edwin Starr
Computer Games - Mi-Sex
Evolution of dance
Should I Stay or Should I Go - The Clash
Eagle Rock - Daddy Cool
Crocodile Rock - Elton John
Jump - Van Halen
Don’t Stop me Now - Queen
Radio Gaga - Queen
Shout - Johnny O’Keefe
Twist n Shout - Beatles
Helter Skelter - Beatles
Band on the Run - Wings
Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones
Break on Through - The Doors
Footloose
The Jam - Going Underground
Bad Moon Rising - Credence Clearwater Revival
Muse - Knights of Cydonia (instrumental)
Stand - REM
Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads
Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel
The Final Countdown - Europe
Underneath the Radar - Underworld
One Step Beyond - Madness
King of the Road
Little Green Bag
Possibly songs by Foo Fighters, The Who, The Beach Boys, Cream. Guns n Roses, Led Zep, Bon Jovi
Beginning of Hip Hop - protest songs
Television (the drug of the nation) - Disposable Heroes of Hiphopcracy
We Got Style - Grandmaster Flash
The Message - Grandmaster Flash
Fire - Sly and Robbie
Robot Boys (on tv talent show) popping mix - see their style - music without lyrics
Psychedelic/Rock
Higher Ground - Stevie Wonder/ Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Are you Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz
White Room - Cream
Kashmir - Led Zep
Stairway - Led Zep
Children of the Revolution - T Rex
The Porpoise Song - The Monkees
Tin Soldier - Small Faces
Sky Pilot - Eric Burden and the Animals
Itchycoo Park - Small Faces
Tomorrow Never Knows/Strawberry Fields Forever/ Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds/I am the Walrus - Beatles
Somebody to Love - Jefferson Airplane
Crosstown Traffic - Jimi Hendrix
Magic Carpet Ride - Steppenwolf
Hole in My Shoe - Traffic
McCarthur Park - Richard Harris/Donna Summer
Drama to act out
Tenterfield Saddler - Peter Allen
Caught in the Crowd - Kate Miller - Heidke
General
Living for the City - Stevie Wonder
Bjork - It’s Oh So Quiet
Sufjan Stevens - Chicago
I like to move it - Madagascar Soundtrack
Your mama don’t dance and your daddy don’t rock n roll - Poison
Higher Ground - Stevie Wonder
Conga - Miami Sound Machine
Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles
Popcorn - Jean Michel Jarre
Wake Me Up Before You Go Go - Wham
Spinning Wheel - Earth, Wind and Fire
Sat in Your Lap - Kate Bush
Gypsy Kings
Pablo Nutini - Pencil Full of Lead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twuzki0ZpDo
- New Shoes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmbUNF1Q4R8&ob=av3el
Sergio Mendes - Magdalenha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoblz9g13NA
Sergio Mendes - What is This
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiC1XSXa2dk&feature=related
Bustop/Umberella/Rain
http://www.epinions.com/content_3266093188
Bustop - the Hollies
Umbrella - Rihanna (or cover - by The Baseballs, Mandy Moore etc)
The Bustop
Singing in the Rain
Pennies from Heaven
Laughter in the Rain
Imagination
Pure Imagination - From Willy Wonka
Imagine - John Lennon
I got to use my imagination - Gladys Knight & The Pips
Just my Imagination - The Temptations
Spy songs
Peter Gunn Theme
James Bond themes
Every Breath you Take
One Way or Another - Blondie
Seasons
It Might as Well be Spring
Summertime
Autumn Leaves
Winter Wonderland
Radio songs
Radio Gaga - Queen
Turn up the Radio
Mexican Radio
Ann Margaret dancing - 60s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiJ7uQfogKA&feature=related
The Baseballs - I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’
The Baseballs - Lets get Loud
Swing Dancing
Sunrise/sunset
Waterloo sunset
Red Sails in the Sunset
Musical
http://www.broadway.com/
When You’re a Jet - West Side Story
Spiderman
The Addams Family
Wicked
Mary Poppins
Annie Get your Gun
Peter Pan
The Sound of Music
Cats
Annie
42 Street
Oliver
The Music Man
Into the Woods
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
http://musicals.net/?shows=1
Camp Rock II - Can’t Back Down
Moulin Rouge
Happy Feet
Coffee in a Cardboard Cup
Beat
The Beat Goes on
Beat It
Beat’s so Lonely
You Can’t Stop the Beat
‘Stop scratching and give me a beat ‘ - Nina Cherry
Don’t Stop Movin’ - S Club 7
Dr Beat - Miami Sound Machine
Rhythm
Rhythm is a dancer
Rhythm of the Night
Get Rhythm (when you get the blues) - Johnny Cash
Slave to the Rhythm - Grace Jones
Rhythm Nation - Janet Jackson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAwaNWGLM0c
Hit me with your rhythm stick (?) - Ian Dury
I Got Rhythm (from An American in Paris)
Rhythm of my Heart - Rod Stewart
The Rhythm of Life (from Sweet Charity)
Music
Music - Madonna
You Can’t stop the Music - Village People
Please don’t stop the Music - Rihanna
Rock and Roll Music - Beatles
The Sound of Music
When the Music’s Over - Doors
Dance to the Music - Sly and the Family Stone
We Belong to the Music - Miley Cyrus
Lolly shop
I Want Candy - Bow Wow Wow
Lollipop - Chordettes
Sugar Sugar - The Archies
Cake Walk like on Soul Train, to a Sly and the Family Stone song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POKipOsa-8A&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POKipOsa-8A&feature=related
If you click these links you'll see lots of songs by topic (eg, colour, day of the week, transport, time, animals, food) - a great resource!
http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/Time
http://www.nutsie.com
You can check out which songs are appropriate for what ages, and why, here. I really recommend it. This is a great resource. You can also search by genre.
http://www.commonsensemedia.org
More advice here
http://dancefullout.com/2010/10/dance-music/
And information on young people and the media here.
http://www.youngmedia.org.au/
I've already written about cds for kids - have a look here
http://motherhugger.blogspot.com/2010/03/from-hi-5-to-lady-gaga-music-for-kids.html
And I’ve written a list of questions for dance schools here.
http://motherhugger.blogspot.com/2010/11/letter-to-dance-school.html
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Advertisements
Have you seen the ad on tv for vitamins for a mum who does yoga on a mat her child has drawn on? Nice looking ad. But why is the vitamin for 'women with children' rather than 'for mothers'? And why do 'women with children' have different vitamin requirements from women without children? Once we stop breastfeeding, aren't we all the same?
And the ad where the women is on a date and needs to scratch her head. Clearly, she needs the speical scalp-care shampoo. Why does no-one consider she might have nits? In my world, no-one is thinking of itchy scalp shampoo. We think of treating nits. Over and over. Why is there no tv advertisement for nit treatment?
My friend rang me in despair because her son has just started school and she has been combing him and herself, productively, every second night. When he stayed with his dad over the weekend, no combing. I suggested she go on RSVP and ask for a man who is handy with a nit comb.*
So, I'd like to see advertisements where parents of both gender are combing their children for nits, just by the way, as they order the take away food, or need that quick, easy to prepare meal. Because combing for nits takes up time our of your busy day. Or maybe we need to advertise gift vouchers for professional nit treatments. That's one gift I'd love to receive. Or ways for mothers to stay calm while combing three people for nits, making sure they do their homework while feeding them healthy meals, and then combs herself when the children are in bed. Or maybe we could lobby for collective action to make sure EVERYONE treats for nits and have certain days where we all schedule it in, and organise nit parties where we invite in the aunts and uncles to help comb our children. Help a mum. Comb a child. That's an ad I'd like to see.
* I also suggested she raise the issue at the P&C - do they enforce the kids with nits aren't to be at school policy? Do some people just not bother treating their kids?
And the ad where the women is on a date and needs to scratch her head. Clearly, she needs the speical scalp-care shampoo. Why does no-one consider she might have nits? In my world, no-one is thinking of itchy scalp shampoo. We think of treating nits. Over and over. Why is there no tv advertisement for nit treatment?
My friend rang me in despair because her son has just started school and she has been combing him and herself, productively, every second night. When he stayed with his dad over the weekend, no combing. I suggested she go on RSVP and ask for a man who is handy with a nit comb.*
So, I'd like to see advertisements where parents of both gender are combing their children for nits, just by the way, as they order the take away food, or need that quick, easy to prepare meal. Because combing for nits takes up time our of your busy day. Or maybe we need to advertise gift vouchers for professional nit treatments. That's one gift I'd love to receive. Or ways for mothers to stay calm while combing three people for nits, making sure they do their homework while feeding them healthy meals, and then combs herself when the children are in bed. Or maybe we could lobby for collective action to make sure EVERYONE treats for nits and have certain days where we all schedule it in, and organise nit parties where we invite in the aunts and uncles to help comb our children. Help a mum. Comb a child. That's an ad I'd like to see.
* I also suggested she raise the issue at the P&C - do they enforce the kids with nits aren't to be at school policy? Do some people just not bother treating their kids?
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Getting it all together
The term is starting to come together. Almost all our extra-curricular activities have begun, and, for me, uni officially begins on Monday. I must admit, our household is a bit of a mess.
It turns out the girls’ dance classes now finish later two nights a week. Clancy has something on before school four days a week. This is the child who, two years ago, said to me, ’Mum, don’t sign me up for anything. I’m good all day at school, but after school I just need to play or watch tv.’ Times have changed. Matilda has a music lesson before school at 7.20am. The schedule is getting pretty full. This week, we’ve been a little tripped up - quick dinners, homework not done.
Weekends, however, are mercifully quiet. This weekend we’ll be looking at at-home schedules, and household systems. The processes we will need to put into place to keep everything running smoothly. To avoid the rushing, frustration and shouting. It turns out that more scheduling means more scheduling. They need to plan their music practice, plan when to do their homework, plan when to clean their room and help out a home. I need to plan meals in advance, have dinner as early as possible, and keep the clutter at bay. And restrict the tv viewing. Most mums I talk to lately have either eliminated tv during the week, or severely restricted it.
Then I need my plan of getting uni work done, going to the gym, and keeping on top of the housework.
I'm sounding like a Tiger Mother, but alongside all this we have playdates, bike rides, games, singing and dancing.
Fail to plan; plan to fail. And keep breathing.
Wish me luck! All advice welcome.
It turns out the girls’ dance classes now finish later two nights a week. Clancy has something on before school four days a week. This is the child who, two years ago, said to me, ’Mum, don’t sign me up for anything. I’m good all day at school, but after school I just need to play or watch tv.’ Times have changed. Matilda has a music lesson before school at 7.20am. The schedule is getting pretty full. This week, we’ve been a little tripped up - quick dinners, homework not done.
Weekends, however, are mercifully quiet. This weekend we’ll be looking at at-home schedules, and household systems. The processes we will need to put into place to keep everything running smoothly. To avoid the rushing, frustration and shouting. It turns out that more scheduling means more scheduling. They need to plan their music practice, plan when to do their homework, plan when to clean their room and help out a home. I need to plan meals in advance, have dinner as early as possible, and keep the clutter at bay. And restrict the tv viewing. Most mums I talk to lately have either eliminated tv during the week, or severely restricted it.
Then I need my plan of getting uni work done, going to the gym, and keeping on top of the housework.
I'm sounding like a Tiger Mother, but alongside all this we have playdates, bike rides, games, singing and dancing.
Fail to plan; plan to fail. And keep breathing.
Wish me luck! All advice welcome.
The family business
There have been two stories lately about famous people who put their children on the stage.
A few weeks ago a US writer tweeted that Will Smith and Jada were ‘pimping’ and ‘exploiting’ their kids. Both their children, Jaden and Willow, are working in the entertainment industry. This week there is the story from Billy Ray Cyrus that the tv show, Hannah Montana, ruined his family, as it led to his divorce and his daughter, Miley, now 18, is out of control. He regrets being involved with the show and regrets trying to be a friend to his daughter, rather than a parent.
Here is a quote from Will Smith, in 2007.
"And Willow is Paris Hilton, Smith says, laughing. "Willow wants to be on TV."
Smith says his daughter's strong personality contributes to her impressive work ethic. "You don't work with Willow," Smith says, teasing. "You work for Willow."
Here is a quote from Willow, who was born in 2000.
“There is a tutor most of the time, but usually I am working so I never get to do the lessons. The worst thing about maths is all the kids are ahead of me because they go to school.”
Hmm.
There have been lots of posts on various forums about the whole thing. Are the children truly talented? Are they well balanced good people? But there are two aspects I haven’t seen mentioned.
One. The family business. You go with what you know. Ever see Italian or Greek children working at the green grocery? Chinese children working at a restaurant? The father who starts a successful business passing it onto his sons? The classical musician parents who want their children to learn classical music? The family business. Nothing so strange about that.
Two. Some children really do have to work in awful jobs to survive. Begging. Sex work. Factories. This is from the UNICEF site:
An estimated 158 million children aged 5-14 are engaged in child labour - one in six children in the world. Millions of children are engaged in hazardous situations or conditions, such as working in mines, working with chemicals and pesticides in agriculture or working with dangerous machinery. They are everywhere but invisible, toiling as domestic servants in homes, labouring behind the walls of workshops, hidden from view in plantations.
* In Sub-Saharan Africa around one in three children are engaged in child labour, representing 69 million children.
* In South Asia, another 44 million are engaged in child labour.
* The latest national estimates for this indicator are reported in Table 9 (Child Protection) of UNICEF's annual publication The State of the World's Children.
Children living in the poorest households and in rural areas are most likely to be engaged in child labour. Those burdened with household chores are overwhelmingly girls. Millions of girls who work as domestic servants are especially vulnerable to exploitation and abuse.
Labour often interferes with children’s education. Ensuring that all children go to school and that their education is of good quality are keys to preventing child labour.
So, what should the story be here? Do we give our attention to a few wealthy, privileged and perhaps OK children, or do we pay attention to the 158 million children who are not having childhoods and are likely to be at serious risk? For millions of children becoming beggars or sex workers is going into the family business.
A few weeks ago a US writer tweeted that Will Smith and Jada were ‘pimping’ and ‘exploiting’ their kids. Both their children, Jaden and Willow, are working in the entertainment industry. This week there is the story from Billy Ray Cyrus that the tv show, Hannah Montana, ruined his family, as it led to his divorce and his daughter, Miley, now 18, is out of control. He regrets being involved with the show and regrets trying to be a friend to his daughter, rather than a parent.
Here is a quote from Will Smith, in 2007.
"And Willow is Paris Hilton, Smith says, laughing. "Willow wants to be on TV."
Smith says his daughter's strong personality contributes to her impressive work ethic. "You don't work with Willow," Smith says, teasing. "You work for Willow."
Here is a quote from Willow, who was born in 2000.
“There is a tutor most of the time, but usually I am working so I never get to do the lessons. The worst thing about maths is all the kids are ahead of me because they go to school.”
Hmm.
There have been lots of posts on various forums about the whole thing. Are the children truly talented? Are they well balanced good people? But there are two aspects I haven’t seen mentioned.
One. The family business. You go with what you know. Ever see Italian or Greek children working at the green grocery? Chinese children working at a restaurant? The father who starts a successful business passing it onto his sons? The classical musician parents who want their children to learn classical music? The family business. Nothing so strange about that.
Two. Some children really do have to work in awful jobs to survive. Begging. Sex work. Factories. This is from the UNICEF site:
An estimated 158 million children aged 5-14 are engaged in child labour - one in six children in the world. Millions of children are engaged in hazardous situations or conditions, such as working in mines, working with chemicals and pesticides in agriculture or working with dangerous machinery. They are everywhere but invisible, toiling as domestic servants in homes, labouring behind the walls of workshops, hidden from view in plantations.
* In Sub-Saharan Africa around one in three children are engaged in child labour, representing 69 million children.
* In South Asia, another 44 million are engaged in child labour.
* The latest national estimates for this indicator are reported in Table 9 (Child Protection) of UNICEF's annual publication The State of the World's Children.
Children living in the poorest households and in rural areas are most likely to be engaged in child labour. Those burdened with household chores are overwhelmingly girls. Millions of girls who work as domestic servants are especially vulnerable to exploitation and abuse.
Labour often interferes with children’s education. Ensuring that all children go to school and that their education is of good quality are keys to preventing child labour.
So, what should the story be here? Do we give our attention to a few wealthy, privileged and perhaps OK children, or do we pay attention to the 158 million children who are not having childhoods and are likely to be at serious risk? For millions of children becoming beggars or sex workers is going into the family business.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Shangri-Las in the Car
I like to sing. I've sung to my kids since they were born. Before they were born I was singing into a microphone on a regular basis. Sometimes I sing to them. Sometimes I sing for me. Sometimes I amuse myself, and annoy them, by singing a song related to whatever we're talking about.
We sing in the car. Over the years we've sung California Dreaming, and Big Yellow Taxi, with me doing lead, and backup vocals from the back seat. Our song at the moment, suggested by the children, is Leader of the Pack.
What a song! Dramatic. Sad. Funny. And it has sound effects. Perfect. The kids think the leader of the pack is like Fonzi. And wonder what he was doing in the candy store in the first place, because hanging out in candy stores doesn't seem so tough. The kids wonder if the girl singing the song really is to blame for the leader of the pack's death. Textual analysis. Ethics. This song is giving us lots to work with.
I just need to keep in mind that we're singing Leader of the Pack and not New Rose by The Damned - they start the same way.
I wouldn't be surprised if our next song is My Boyfriend's Back. Bring on the handclaps!
We sing in the car. Over the years we've sung California Dreaming, and Big Yellow Taxi, with me doing lead, and backup vocals from the back seat. Our song at the moment, suggested by the children, is Leader of the Pack.
What a song! Dramatic. Sad. Funny. And it has sound effects. Perfect. The kids think the leader of the pack is like Fonzi. And wonder what he was doing in the candy store in the first place, because hanging out in candy stores doesn't seem so tough. The kids wonder if the girl singing the song really is to blame for the leader of the pack's death. Textual analysis. Ethics. This song is giving us lots to work with.
I just need to keep in mind that we're singing Leader of the Pack and not New Rose by The Damned - they start the same way.
I wouldn't be surprised if our next song is My Boyfriend's Back. Bring on the handclaps!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Common Sense
Did you know that Michelle Obama won't let her kids on Facebook? Well, I know that know because I read it on Common Sense, the website that tells you what age each website, game, movie, tv show, book, app or music release is appropriate for. You can search by product or age group. Parents and children review products, and well as social media. They also have stories, with recommendations, for example this one on the role of the media in early sexualisation of girls, including recommendations of media with positive role models for girls.
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/too-sexy-too-soon?utm_source=newsletter02.10.11&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=feature1-title
Will I let my kids on Facebook? No. It bothers me that we have recommendations, even laws, that parents let their children disregard. Drinking under the age of eighteen. Sex under the age of sixteen. And FB under the age of thirteen. Naive perhaps, but I'm hoping my kids won't be very interested. They already are critical of lots of ways modern technology is being used. My youngest made a sign for the entrance of our house saying 'No Mobile Phones' - she thinks using them at our house is rude. They'd rather interact in RL. We'll see.
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/too-sexy-too-soon?utm_source=newsletter02.10.11&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=feature1-title
Will I let my kids on Facebook? No. It bothers me that we have recommendations, even laws, that parents let their children disregard. Drinking under the age of eighteen. Sex under the age of sixteen. And FB under the age of thirteen. Naive perhaps, but I'm hoping my kids won't be very interested. They already are critical of lots of ways modern technology is being used. My youngest made a sign for the entrance of our house saying 'No Mobile Phones' - she thinks using them at our house is rude. They'd rather interact in RL. We'll see.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Snippet
Me: Girls, I'm thinking it's time I got a job.
Clancy: You could be a secretary, mum. You're pretty enough.
Banjo: If you straighten you hair. Wear some make-up.
Me: ???????
Matilda: I'm not going to vacation care.
Clancy: You could be a secretary, mum. You're pretty enough.
Banjo: If you straighten you hair. Wear some make-up.
Me: ???????
Matilda: I'm not going to vacation care.
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Honoured feminists disassociate themselves from the f word
In SMH today - a piece by Nina Funnell.
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/leading-women-lay-off-the-fword-but-are-we-better-served-without-it-20110209-1amy3.html?comments=19#comments
This year, to coincide with the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day, the Australian Postal Corporation printed four stamps commemorating the contributions of four feminist "trailblazers", Germaine Greer, Anne Summers, Eva Cox and Elizabeth Evatt.
Only here is the peculiar thing. During the lunch to launch the stamp, the word feminism was not uttered once. Zero. Zip. Niente....
Afterwards I spoke to Greer to get her thoughts on it all. "Feminism?" she queried. "Oh it's such an old fashioned word anyway." Cox and Summers went one step further, describing the word as both traditionalist and conservative.
"To be honest, I am not - and never have been - hung up on the word 'feminism','' says Summers. ''I never used it when I was young because feminism was seen as very conservative and backward-looking then. Today's young women have a similarly disdainful attitude. They see feminism as old-fashioned - just as we did when we were the same age. To me, what matters is that women (and men) support women's equality and all that is needed to achieve that. It's what we think and how we act that really matters."
Cox adds that feminism was an extremely conservative term and so "was not the term preferred by many '70s activists who used the term women's liberation [which was considered far more radical]".
Um, I'm sure I've seen and heard these women at feminist conferences. I'm sure I've heard them use the word amongst other feminists. What is going on here?
While I do understand that walking the walk is more important than talking the talk, and that the word has negative connotations that cause young women to not identify a feminist, I also don't understand why these older, active women want to distance themselves from the word. Did they have a meeting and agree on this?
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/leading-women-lay-off-the-fword-but-are-we-better-served-without-it-20110209-1amy3.html?comments=19#comments
This year, to coincide with the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day, the Australian Postal Corporation printed four stamps commemorating the contributions of four feminist "trailblazers", Germaine Greer, Anne Summers, Eva Cox and Elizabeth Evatt.
Only here is the peculiar thing. During the lunch to launch the stamp, the word feminism was not uttered once. Zero. Zip. Niente....
Afterwards I spoke to Greer to get her thoughts on it all. "Feminism?" she queried. "Oh it's such an old fashioned word anyway." Cox and Summers went one step further, describing the word as both traditionalist and conservative.
"To be honest, I am not - and never have been - hung up on the word 'feminism','' says Summers. ''I never used it when I was young because feminism was seen as very conservative and backward-looking then. Today's young women have a similarly disdainful attitude. They see feminism as old-fashioned - just as we did when we were the same age. To me, what matters is that women (and men) support women's equality and all that is needed to achieve that. It's what we think and how we act that really matters."
Cox adds that feminism was an extremely conservative term and so "was not the term preferred by many '70s activists who used the term women's liberation [which was considered far more radical]".
Um, I'm sure I've seen and heard these women at feminist conferences. I'm sure I've heard them use the word amongst other feminists. What is going on here?
While I do understand that walking the walk is more important than talking the talk, and that the word has negative connotations that cause young women to not identify a feminist, I also don't understand why these older, active women want to distance themselves from the word. Did they have a meeting and agree on this?
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Dangers, real and perceived
My friend and I were talking the other day about the news stories that freaked us out when we were kids. For me the story was the abduction of Eloise Warledge.
Eloise Warledge was taken from her home in Melbourne in 1976. She was eight years old. When her family discovered her missing they found the front door unlocked, the bedroom window flyscreen was cut from the inside. No-one was ever charged with her abduction, and no trace of her was ever found. The parents had been on the brink of separation, had argued that night, the father had been drinking, and each parent had neglected to close the front door. It was left open. I was aged eleven and totally freaked out that a child could be taken from her bed. Police investigators found 200 incidents of suspicious behaviour in the locality on the night she disappeared. I wonder if anyone would have reported those incidents if she hadn’t disappeared that night.
For my friend (who is a little younger than me) the story was about Samantha Knight. In 1986 Samantha Knight was aged nine. She went missing after school in Bondi. She was taken and drugged by her abuser, Michael Guider, who accidentally overdosed her. He was convicted sixteen years later. Samantha had routinely been left unsupervised after school. Guider was a free babysitter to single mums, and had routinely been drugging and abusing children for years. It turns out that another of the children who had been in his care had told her mother about the abuse a few weeks before Samantha died. The family had not told police, nor the other families who had trusted Guider.
So, what can we, as parents, learn from these cases?
We are, thankfully, more aware of child abuse now, and, hopefully, more likely to report cases that are brought to our attention. A child of Samantha’s age would now go to after school care rather than go home alone. And she would have a mobile phone and tell her mother where she is going. The story does, however, point to the vulnerability of single parents, who need support, still, and always will.
But what about the case of Eloise Warledge? A similar case happened in Sydney in 2005, when 19 month old Rahme El-Dennaoiu was taken from her home where she was sleeping in a bed with her sisters. The fly screen over the window had been cut. And, of course, the case of Madeleine McCann, who disappeared from a hotel room in Portugal in 2007. How can we protect sleeping children? We can lock the front door and stay in the same premises, but, in the case of Rahme El-Dennaoiu the audacity is astounding. There is nothing that could have been done.
What I find extraordinary is something attributed to Eloise’ mother, Patsy, in an interview in 2003. She had two younger children, and wanted them to live normal lives.
Shortly after the disappearance, Anna and Blake made a kite and wanted to take it to a nearby park for a test flight. Patsy was finishing cooking but let them go alone - following just minutes later. Instinctively, she says, she knew she had to let them live normal lives and not be prisoners to their sister's mystery.
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/07/04/1057179154768.html
So, what are we doing? Are our children prisoners to the tragedy of the few children who disappear? What do we tell our children? What of our own experiences?
There are times I’ve been in danger.
At seventeen I was raped by a young man I trusted. I told a friend who didn’t believe me. The man behaved as if he had done nothing wrong, even though I was retching and in shock. I told him he was never to speak to me again. A few times I’ve been felt up whilst on a train. The first time it took me a while to realise what was happening was not an accident. I didn’t say anything - I was nineteen, I think, and the train was crowded - but I remember I cried when I got home. It happened again when I was pregnant. I yelled at the man and got off the train, was late for work, and cried when I told my boss why I was late. When I was younger I would often walk where I was going, alone, late at night. I worked for a time at a nightclub in the city and would walk home to Darlinghurst through Hyde Park at 3am. I often walked from the train station through the quiet streets to my parent’s house and once encountered a man masturbating with his face covered, so I knocked on the door of the hospital and asked them to call the police who drove me home. I also called the police one night when I was working as a phone sex operator (that was the official name) and someone had rung saying he knew where we were and he would get us. Then there was a banging on the door at the time my shift finished so I rang the police to escort me to my car. I've been held up at gunpoint when working behind a bar at a club on New Years Eve. At a share house I've woken up to find a drunken and uninvited police officer lying on top of me. At another share house a home invader broke our front door in, door frame and all. I've been in minor car accidents. I had a psychotic reaction to an injection of antibiotics when I had mastitis - the psychosis was that I believed I was dying. Other times I’ve trusted my instincts to turn away from danger, like the time when I would walk through a park on the way to work, and one misty morning a man was cycling in circles in front of the tunnelway and I couldn’t see past him, so I turned and went the long way around, again, making me late for work. Sometimes the turning away from danger was simply by going home instead of partying on. (I’ve done some pretty stupid, trusting, things by partying on - I’ve been very lucky! I’ve avoided disaster many times by sheer luck.)
But I'm OK. I've never been bashed. I've never experienced an earthquake, flood, fire or cyclone. I haven't witnessed a massacre (my friend was at Port Arthur). Some dangers you can prepare for; others just hit you out of nowhere.
So, I’m telling my children to trust their instincts. I’m telling them to ask for help when they feel unsafe. That it is OK to be late if the option is a risk to your safety. That it is OK to call the police. But I’m also telling them they can walk to school on their own, and walk around the neighbourhood to see their friends and run errands. Safety first, but within that, have fun. I’m listening to Eloise’s mother. If she can do it, so can we.
For more on raising kids to feel safe and free, see Lenore Skenarzy’s Free Range Kids.
http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/the-boom-in-baby-snatching-hysteria/
Eloise Warledge was taken from her home in Melbourne in 1976. She was eight years old. When her family discovered her missing they found the front door unlocked, the bedroom window flyscreen was cut from the inside. No-one was ever charged with her abduction, and no trace of her was ever found. The parents had been on the brink of separation, had argued that night, the father had been drinking, and each parent had neglected to close the front door. It was left open. I was aged eleven and totally freaked out that a child could be taken from her bed. Police investigators found 200 incidents of suspicious behaviour in the locality on the night she disappeared. I wonder if anyone would have reported those incidents if she hadn’t disappeared that night.
For my friend (who is a little younger than me) the story was about Samantha Knight. In 1986 Samantha Knight was aged nine. She went missing after school in Bondi. She was taken and drugged by her abuser, Michael Guider, who accidentally overdosed her. He was convicted sixteen years later. Samantha had routinely been left unsupervised after school. Guider was a free babysitter to single mums, and had routinely been drugging and abusing children for years. It turns out that another of the children who had been in his care had told her mother about the abuse a few weeks before Samantha died. The family had not told police, nor the other families who had trusted Guider.
So, what can we, as parents, learn from these cases?
We are, thankfully, more aware of child abuse now, and, hopefully, more likely to report cases that are brought to our attention. A child of Samantha’s age would now go to after school care rather than go home alone. And she would have a mobile phone and tell her mother where she is going. The story does, however, point to the vulnerability of single parents, who need support, still, and always will.
But what about the case of Eloise Warledge? A similar case happened in Sydney in 2005, when 19 month old Rahme El-Dennaoiu was taken from her home where she was sleeping in a bed with her sisters. The fly screen over the window had been cut. And, of course, the case of Madeleine McCann, who disappeared from a hotel room in Portugal in 2007. How can we protect sleeping children? We can lock the front door and stay in the same premises, but, in the case of Rahme El-Dennaoiu the audacity is astounding. There is nothing that could have been done.
What I find extraordinary is something attributed to Eloise’ mother, Patsy, in an interview in 2003. She had two younger children, and wanted them to live normal lives.
Shortly after the disappearance, Anna and Blake made a kite and wanted to take it to a nearby park for a test flight. Patsy was finishing cooking but let them go alone - following just minutes later. Instinctively, she says, she knew she had to let them live normal lives and not be prisoners to their sister's mystery.
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/07/04/1057179154768.html
So, what are we doing? Are our children prisoners to the tragedy of the few children who disappear? What do we tell our children? What of our own experiences?
There are times I’ve been in danger.
At seventeen I was raped by a young man I trusted. I told a friend who didn’t believe me. The man behaved as if he had done nothing wrong, even though I was retching and in shock. I told him he was never to speak to me again. A few times I’ve been felt up whilst on a train. The first time it took me a while to realise what was happening was not an accident. I didn’t say anything - I was nineteen, I think, and the train was crowded - but I remember I cried when I got home. It happened again when I was pregnant. I yelled at the man and got off the train, was late for work, and cried when I told my boss why I was late. When I was younger I would often walk where I was going, alone, late at night. I worked for a time at a nightclub in the city and would walk home to Darlinghurst through Hyde Park at 3am. I often walked from the train station through the quiet streets to my parent’s house and once encountered a man masturbating with his face covered, so I knocked on the door of the hospital and asked them to call the police who drove me home. I also called the police one night when I was working as a phone sex operator (that was the official name) and someone had rung saying he knew where we were and he would get us. Then there was a banging on the door at the time my shift finished so I rang the police to escort me to my car. I've been held up at gunpoint when working behind a bar at a club on New Years Eve. At a share house I've woken up to find a drunken and uninvited police officer lying on top of me. At another share house a home invader broke our front door in, door frame and all. I've been in minor car accidents. I had a psychotic reaction to an injection of antibiotics when I had mastitis - the psychosis was that I believed I was dying. Other times I’ve trusted my instincts to turn away from danger, like the time when I would walk through a park on the way to work, and one misty morning a man was cycling in circles in front of the tunnelway and I couldn’t see past him, so I turned and went the long way around, again, making me late for work. Sometimes the turning away from danger was simply by going home instead of partying on. (I’ve done some pretty stupid, trusting, things by partying on - I’ve been very lucky! I’ve avoided disaster many times by sheer luck.)
But I'm OK. I've never been bashed. I've never experienced an earthquake, flood, fire or cyclone. I haven't witnessed a massacre (my friend was at Port Arthur). Some dangers you can prepare for; others just hit you out of nowhere.
So, I’m telling my children to trust their instincts. I’m telling them to ask for help when they feel unsafe. That it is OK to be late if the option is a risk to your safety. That it is OK to call the police. But I’m also telling them they can walk to school on their own, and walk around the neighbourhood to see their friends and run errands. Safety first, but within that, have fun. I’m listening to Eloise’s mother. If she can do it, so can we.
For more on raising kids to feel safe and free, see Lenore Skenarzy’s Free Range Kids.
http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/the-boom-in-baby-snatching-hysteria/
Saturday, February 05, 2011
It's Too Darn Hot
The children went back to school this week. We’ve just been trying to deal with the heat.
Sydney has had a weeklong heatwave. Last night at 1am the temperature was 30 degrees. This morning, the same. On Monday, after the first day back at school, we walked home in 39 degree heat. Clancy’s feet were burning through her shoes. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday we went straight from school to the pool. We’ve been living on iceblocks and icecreams and cold drinks. Crackers and dip and fruit and cucumbers. Too hot to eat properly. Matilda has kindly been placing wet washers in the freezer and draping them on me. Banjo has kept up her chant of ‘can we go out?’ Two parties yesterday, (at one, at a park, a woman said to me, ‘you know, I’m much nicer under 27 degrees’) so today, sorry, no.
We don’t have air con, but have been using fans, which have worked well. We’ve needed them to be able to sleep.
I’ve been sorting out what I’m dong this year. Organising meetings and filling in forms. Turns out my uni enrolment for the Dip Ed is a big puzzle. Must do this unit first, that one with that, this one before that. I’ve enrolled in three subjects, although can drop one to do later. Turns out I have a residential school exactly the same time as the A-MIRCI conference, at which I was giving a paper, so I’ve had to think about priorities. For now, voluntary work and unpaid interests will have to take a back seat to the prospect of earning money. And I do want to earn some money - now (all suggestions welcome - I may be helping a local women look after her baby)and when I’m qualified to teach. So, disappointing, and I am still interested, but I won’t be able to attend the A-MIRCI conference afterall. I was planning to invite singer songwriters who are mothers to a panel discussion, and to play songs about mothering. Maybe next time.
During the holidays I drafted lots to blog about, but didn’t realise how hot a computer is. And I haven’t been to the gym this week. So, when it cools down a bit, it’s back to the to-do list and normal activities for me.
The heat should break today. We are all looking forward to it. Sydney will let out a collective sigh.
In the meantime, we have Ella Fitzgerald to keep us company.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlMWW4R1ZBM
And Marilyn singing Heatwave. (Which explains something about current music videos...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qe-45dj-aGo&feature=related
Sydney has had a weeklong heatwave. Last night at 1am the temperature was 30 degrees. This morning, the same. On Monday, after the first day back at school, we walked home in 39 degree heat. Clancy’s feet were burning through her shoes. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday we went straight from school to the pool. We’ve been living on iceblocks and icecreams and cold drinks. Crackers and dip and fruit and cucumbers. Too hot to eat properly. Matilda has kindly been placing wet washers in the freezer and draping them on me. Banjo has kept up her chant of ‘can we go out?’ Two parties yesterday, (at one, at a park, a woman said to me, ‘you know, I’m much nicer under 27 degrees’) so today, sorry, no.
We don’t have air con, but have been using fans, which have worked well. We’ve needed them to be able to sleep.
I’ve been sorting out what I’m dong this year. Organising meetings and filling in forms. Turns out my uni enrolment for the Dip Ed is a big puzzle. Must do this unit first, that one with that, this one before that. I’ve enrolled in three subjects, although can drop one to do later. Turns out I have a residential school exactly the same time as the A-MIRCI conference, at which I was giving a paper, so I’ve had to think about priorities. For now, voluntary work and unpaid interests will have to take a back seat to the prospect of earning money. And I do want to earn some money - now (all suggestions welcome - I may be helping a local women look after her baby)and when I’m qualified to teach. So, disappointing, and I am still interested, but I won’t be able to attend the A-MIRCI conference afterall. I was planning to invite singer songwriters who are mothers to a panel discussion, and to play songs about mothering. Maybe next time.
During the holidays I drafted lots to blog about, but didn’t realise how hot a computer is. And I haven’t been to the gym this week. So, when it cools down a bit, it’s back to the to-do list and normal activities for me.
The heat should break today. We are all looking forward to it. Sydney will let out a collective sigh.
In the meantime, we have Ella Fitzgerald to keep us company.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlMWW4R1ZBM
And Marilyn singing Heatwave. (Which explains something about current music videos...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qe-45dj-aGo&feature=related
Monday, January 31, 2011
Labiaplasty - a big range of normal
http://somedaywewillsleep.com/vaginas-labiaplasty-and-why-i-think-teenage-girls-ought-to-look-at-more-than-just-porn-for-their-body-image-ideas/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+somedaywewillsleep+%28Sleepless+Nights.%29
Sharing this post from Veronica at Sleepless Nights. About labiaplasty, and
an exhibition at MONA of 150 ceramic vaginas - moulds of models - showing a range of normal. Something to counter the idea of womens' bodies seen in pornography.
Sharing this post from Veronica at Sleepless Nights. About labiaplasty, and
an exhibition at MONA of 150 ceramic vaginas - moulds of models - showing a range of normal. Something to counter the idea of womens' bodies seen in pornography.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I love a good flashmob
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2nB-mj_fY8
A friend of mine is in this choir that did a flashmob at the QVB just before Christmas. Bringing joy to shoppers, who whipped out their cameras. Have a look.
A friend of mine is in this choir that did a flashmob at the QVB just before Christmas. Bringing joy to shoppers, who whipped out their cameras. Have a look.
Encyclopedia of Motherhood - out now!
Have a look at the Encyclopedia of Motherhood, compiled by Andrea O'Reilly, which is now available.
http://www.amazon.com/Encyclopedia-Motherhood-Andrea-OReilly/dp/1412968461#reader_1412968461
What an amazing undertaking! And it is all there - have a look at the Reader's Guide and the Resource Guide - all the issues covered by the academy as well as popular culture. It includes a history of motherhood, and statistics from countries all around the world.
And academics from Australia have contributed.
This is a huge achievement. I need to give Andrea a big kiss!
http://www.amazon.com/Encyclopedia-Motherhood-Andrea-OReilly/dp/1412968461#reader_1412968461
What an amazing undertaking! And it is all there - have a look at the Reader's Guide and the Resource Guide - all the issues covered by the academy as well as popular culture. It includes a history of motherhood, and statistics from countries all around the world.
And academics from Australia have contributed.
This is a huge achievement. I need to give Andrea a big kiss!
Monday, January 24, 2011
National No Nits Week
I’m scratching my head over why I’ve never seen a report into the lost productivity caused by dealing with nit infestations. If each household spends five hours a week combing and washing, combing and washing, and repeat this each week until no nits appear, then repeat whenever re-infested, and re-infestation occurs twice more each year, let say the parents of the household spend 60 hours a year treating their families for nits. That’s 60 hours that could have been spent playing or cooking or reading, or learning a new skill. For a school of 400 families, that’s 24000 hours of lost productivity for one school community.*
Can I ask that we try to avoid such lost productivity in Australian households by declaring the last week of the holidays National No Nits Week? If we put our heads together we could hatch a plan to avoid infestations spread by children at school by making sure children start the school year with clean heads.
Perhaps that means a nurse checks the children on the first day of term.
I know that teachers are not allowed to check children. But having spent time in the classrooms, I could make a pretty good guess which children have nits - the one who keep scratching their heads. I don’t know that, at our school, children are sent home for having nits. The only way it is managed is that a note goes home to the parents of the class asking that they check their children. The whole issue, as a health issue, is not dealt with very seriously. I know that some parents just ignore the whole matter.
What else could be done? Are nits dealt with more seriously at other schools?
* We all know that issues are only taken serious when presented in terms of productivity, or GDP or the economy. Not taken seriously if mums just say, 'We're bloody sick of nits!'.
Can I ask that we try to avoid such lost productivity in Australian households by declaring the last week of the holidays National No Nits Week? If we put our heads together we could hatch a plan to avoid infestations spread by children at school by making sure children start the school year with clean heads.
Perhaps that means a nurse checks the children on the first day of term.
I know that teachers are not allowed to check children. But having spent time in the classrooms, I could make a pretty good guess which children have nits - the one who keep scratching their heads. I don’t know that, at our school, children are sent home for having nits. The only way it is managed is that a note goes home to the parents of the class asking that they check their children. The whole issue, as a health issue, is not dealt with very seriously. I know that some parents just ignore the whole matter.
What else could be done? Are nits dealt with more seriously at other schools?
* We all know that issues are only taken serious when presented in terms of productivity, or GDP or the economy. Not taken seriously if mums just say, 'We're bloody sick of nits!'.
Mumsnet in the UK
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/jan/23/justine-roberts-mumsnet-family-life-misogyny-eastenders
A story in The Guardian about Mumsnet in the UK. It is an online forum for mums which also lobbies for change. It is probably the largest online lobby group for women in the UK. This is an interview with its founder, Justine Roberts (whose husband is deputy editor of The Guardian). Mumsnet gets a million hits a day.
Interesting.
Nothing equivalent here, although Essential Baby and Bub Hub fill similar needs in some ways - mums helping mums - just not the political action.
A story in The Guardian about Mumsnet in the UK. It is an online forum for mums which also lobbies for change. It is probably the largest online lobby group for women in the UK. This is an interview with its founder, Justine Roberts (whose husband is deputy editor of The Guardian). Mumsnet gets a million hits a day.
Interesting.
Nothing equivalent here, although Essential Baby and Bub Hub fill similar needs in some ways - mums helping mums - just not the political action.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Aussie Bloggers Conference
http://aussiebloggersconference.com.au/
For mum bloggers. (Well, mum, parents and personal bloggers.)
March 19th, 2011, for the full day, in Sydney.
Includes tips, networking, monetisation.
Looks great. It was organised in October, and is sold out! I've put my name on the waiting list...
In the meantime, I'll be reading the blogs of the speakers.
I found about about the conference through Aussie Mummy Bloggers.
http://aussiemummybloggers.com/
For mum bloggers. (Well, mum, parents and personal bloggers.)
March 19th, 2011, for the full day, in Sydney.
Includes tips, networking, monetisation.
Looks great. It was organised in October, and is sold out! I've put my name on the waiting list...
In the meantime, I'll be reading the blogs of the speakers.
I found about about the conference through Aussie Mummy Bloggers.
http://aussiemummybloggers.com/
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Sex Work in Australia
At the f collective conference last year probably the most challenging thing for me (except the debacle at the end )was the feminism of sex workers. I'd spent so long thinking about the feminism of mothering that I'd forgotten about other people in very different circumstances. There were representatives there from The Scarlet Alliance, who lobby for the rights of sex workers. These women are not junkies or downtrodden no-hopers. They are career sex workers. Whether or not they are mothers was never discussed.
It is interesting that WEA (a community college in Sydney) is running a session on Sex Working in Australia. It is on Saturday 19 March, from 9.30 to 4.30. It is being conducted by Roberta Perkins, who is a lecturer in sociology at UNSW, and has published widely on the topic of sex work. She also is involved in The Gender Centre. Someone from The Scarlet Alliance will also be speaking on the day.
It would be really interesting to attend, but I don't think I can make it. Kind of booked up with study and other outings that are higher priority.
When I was younger I had friends who worked in brothels as receptionists and as cleaners. One friend was a B&D Madam - she put herself through design school. I worked for some time doing phone sex, which is part of the industry, but at a distance from clients, and as close as I was prepared to go. For me, even doing phone sex was not healthy. It did, though, improve my voice for acting, which I was studying at the time.
When I saw the women from Scarlet Alliance I thought: there but for a decision or two goes I. I suspect they didn't think about me at all. I wonder what their views are on protecting children from sexually explicit imagery and such campaigns. I've met Fiona Patten from The Sex Party and was surprised at how much our views were in common. She said that no-one in the sex industry was interested in marketing to children. They agree with the right wing Christians on a lot of issues, but some campaigners or politicians just won't work with The Sex Party.
Should we think of sex workers in the same category as gestational carriers? A woman renting out a part of her body? A part of the economics of supply and demand? I wonder what modern sex workers want for children? What they want for mothers? From what I saw they were not women who had no other options, and would be insulted at the suggestion that they were not empowered feminists.
So interesting.
It is interesting that WEA (a community college in Sydney) is running a session on Sex Working in Australia. It is on Saturday 19 March, from 9.30 to 4.30. It is being conducted by Roberta Perkins, who is a lecturer in sociology at UNSW, and has published widely on the topic of sex work. She also is involved in The Gender Centre. Someone from The Scarlet Alliance will also be speaking on the day.
It would be really interesting to attend, but I don't think I can make it. Kind of booked up with study and other outings that are higher priority.
When I was younger I had friends who worked in brothels as receptionists and as cleaners. One friend was a B&D Madam - she put herself through design school. I worked for some time doing phone sex, which is part of the industry, but at a distance from clients, and as close as I was prepared to go. For me, even doing phone sex was not healthy. It did, though, improve my voice for acting, which I was studying at the time.
When I saw the women from Scarlet Alliance I thought: there but for a decision or two goes I. I suspect they didn't think about me at all. I wonder what their views are on protecting children from sexually explicit imagery and such campaigns. I've met Fiona Patten from The Sex Party and was surprised at how much our views were in common. She said that no-one in the sex industry was interested in marketing to children. They agree with the right wing Christians on a lot of issues, but some campaigners or politicians just won't work with The Sex Party.
Should we think of sex workers in the same category as gestational carriers? A woman renting out a part of her body? A part of the economics of supply and demand? I wonder what modern sex workers want for children? What they want for mothers? From what I saw they were not women who had no other options, and would be insulted at the suggestion that they were not empowered feminists.
So interesting.
Monday, January 17, 2011
All this conflicting parenting advice - it never ends...
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jan/16/hugger-tiger-mother-baby-rearing
It isn't just Chua's book that has caused controversy the last few weeks in the world of parenting. Latest advice is to start solids at four months rather than six, and a discussion over what kind of home children need: tidy or cosy (ie, messy). And there are new momoirs coming out all the time.
"The single most important point of all in childcare is that none of these prescriptions is the right answer," says Oliver James, whose book on child rearing, How Not to F*** Them Up, is out in paperback in April. In an effort to turn down the heat on parents, the child psychologist adds: "There is an endless searching for a right way to care for a baby or a small child. But there is no right way."
The weeks ahead do not offer a period of calm. Mothers are to be subjected to a volley of rival strategies for the child-rearing years. In spring Rebecca Asher's book, Shattered: Modern Motherhood and the Illusion of Equality, will attempt to raise the consciousness of exhausted British women. They have been complicit, she argues, in maintaining a status quo in which mothers bear the primary responsibility for bringing up children, to the detriment of the rest of their lives.
.....
James feels it is a shift in emphasis that is coming from young women. He says he has found that many women in their early 20s or late teens are asking what the point was of trying to do everything. There is no prize awarded for working and mothering hard, James points out, although he concedes that for poorer women and single mothers choices are limited.
"Mothers of young babies should consider whether they are comfortable in their skin," he says. "And that is not an easy thing to achieve, particularly if you have been living like Bridget Jones. It is not an ideal preparation to have enjoyed a career and had little experience of having a status lower than a street-sweeper. It is a huge wrench."
He urges women to consider the kind of person they are. "Do you like babies or do you prefer toddlers? If you are what I call 'a hugger', for instance, you will enjoy being with babies. If you are 'an organiser' you are going to find it stressful. Or you might be 'a flexi-mum', which is a bit of both."
I'm interested in the book on how the expectations of mothering effect women, Rebecca Asher's book, Shattered: Modern Motherhood and the Illusion of Equality. And Oliver James seems quite sensible too. Becoming a mother should not mean signing up to a particular style of parenting, akin to joining a cult. (I'm wondering when an Australian mothering identity will be coined - Kangaroo Mother? Kookburra Mother? Do you know anyone who identifies as a Yummy Mummy or Soccer Mum?) He asks questions worth considering. As does Rebecca Asher. And yes, we are all just doing what we believe to be right for us and our kids. Perhaps we could all just relax a little.
Here is something from the blurb of Asher's book, to be released in April.
If we live in an age of equality, why are women are still left holding the baby?
Becoming a mother is a tremendously rewarding experience, but, for all the current talk of shared parenting, women still find themselves bearing primary responsibility for bringing up their children, to the detriment of everything else in their lives. Fathers, conversely, are dragooned into the role of main earner, becoming semi-detached from their families. Both men and women put up too little resistance to this pressure, shying away from asking what is really best for themselves and their children. The consequences of this enduring inequality in the home reach far beyond individuals and into society as a whole. A radical new approach is needed if we want to raise our children fairly and happily.
Ranging from antenatal care and maternity leave, to work practices, relationship dynamics and beyond, Shattered exposes the inequalities perpetuated by the state, employers and the parenting industry and suggests imaginative ways forward to achieve more balanced and fulfilling lives.
Rebecca Asher draws on the experiences of mothers and fathers in the UK and around the world in setting out a manifesto for a new model of family life. Engaging and provocative, Shattered is a call to arms for a revolution in parenting.
Sounds good to me!
It isn't just Chua's book that has caused controversy the last few weeks in the world of parenting. Latest advice is to start solids at four months rather than six, and a discussion over what kind of home children need: tidy or cosy (ie, messy). And there are new momoirs coming out all the time.
"The single most important point of all in childcare is that none of these prescriptions is the right answer," says Oliver James, whose book on child rearing, How Not to F*** Them Up, is out in paperback in April. In an effort to turn down the heat on parents, the child psychologist adds: "There is an endless searching for a right way to care for a baby or a small child. But there is no right way."
The weeks ahead do not offer a period of calm. Mothers are to be subjected to a volley of rival strategies for the child-rearing years. In spring Rebecca Asher's book, Shattered: Modern Motherhood and the Illusion of Equality, will attempt to raise the consciousness of exhausted British women. They have been complicit, she argues, in maintaining a status quo in which mothers bear the primary responsibility for bringing up children, to the detriment of the rest of their lives.
.....
James feels it is a shift in emphasis that is coming from young women. He says he has found that many women in their early 20s or late teens are asking what the point was of trying to do everything. There is no prize awarded for working and mothering hard, James points out, although he concedes that for poorer women and single mothers choices are limited.
"Mothers of young babies should consider whether they are comfortable in their skin," he says. "And that is not an easy thing to achieve, particularly if you have been living like Bridget Jones. It is not an ideal preparation to have enjoyed a career and had little experience of having a status lower than a street-sweeper. It is a huge wrench."
He urges women to consider the kind of person they are. "Do you like babies or do you prefer toddlers? If you are what I call 'a hugger', for instance, you will enjoy being with babies. If you are 'an organiser' you are going to find it stressful. Or you might be 'a flexi-mum', which is a bit of both."
I'm interested in the book on how the expectations of mothering effect women, Rebecca Asher's book, Shattered: Modern Motherhood and the Illusion of Equality. And Oliver James seems quite sensible too. Becoming a mother should not mean signing up to a particular style of parenting, akin to joining a cult. (I'm wondering when an Australian mothering identity will be coined - Kangaroo Mother? Kookburra Mother? Do you know anyone who identifies as a Yummy Mummy or Soccer Mum?) He asks questions worth considering. As does Rebecca Asher. And yes, we are all just doing what we believe to be right for us and our kids. Perhaps we could all just relax a little.
Here is something from the blurb of Asher's book, to be released in April.
If we live in an age of equality, why are women are still left holding the baby?
Becoming a mother is a tremendously rewarding experience, but, for all the current talk of shared parenting, women still find themselves bearing primary responsibility for bringing up their children, to the detriment of everything else in their lives. Fathers, conversely, are dragooned into the role of main earner, becoming semi-detached from their families. Both men and women put up too little resistance to this pressure, shying away from asking what is really best for themselves and their children. The consequences of this enduring inequality in the home reach far beyond individuals and into society as a whole. A radical new approach is needed if we want to raise our children fairly and happily.
Ranging from antenatal care and maternity leave, to work practices, relationship dynamics and beyond, Shattered exposes the inequalities perpetuated by the state, employers and the parenting industry and suggests imaginative ways forward to achieve more balanced and fulfilling lives.
Rebecca Asher draws on the experiences of mothers and fathers in the UK and around the world in setting out a manifesto for a new model of family life. Engaging and provocative, Shattered is a call to arms for a revolution in parenting.
Sounds good to me!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
January is the month to ...
clean up and catch up. I’ve realised I may not have a chance to do these things later in the year.
So, I’ve been Spring Cleaning. I’ve vacuumed under the beds and cleaned the windows and sorted through our stuff and taken lots to the op shop (seriously depressing exercise to walk into an op shop overflowing with stuff. And I’m a little more anxious about letting go of my things that I should be - I want that dress to go to someone who will LOVE it, and I want those shoes to be displayed on a shelf and not thrown into a tub - but it is out of my hands...) It has been a good exercise to take stock of what we have - trying to know, love and use everything in the house - I'm starting with 'know'. And a good exercise to finally let go the dresses and shoes I haven’t worn since I had my first child nearly eleven years ago. I guess I’ve accepted that my life will never be like my pre-mothering life again. That is, flat shoes and sports bras from here on.
I’m taking the opportunity in January to catch up with friends. I’ve noticed that if we don’t see people as part of our weekly schedule, that is, we don’t go to the same school, pool, or dance class, then we just don’t see those families. Last year I hosted a few Sunday lunches where I invited a few families over at a time, which took a lot of organising to work out who was available when. This month I’ve announced we’ll be hosting Sunday afternoon teas every week in January and I’ve invited all the families I don’t usually see in the course of our everyday lives. The families we might run into at the shops and say, ‘We must catch up’. Most families in Sydney go on holidays in January, so it is very tricky to keep track of who is around when. For those who are home, and might be looking for something to do, come on over. Those invited can come every week, or the one week they want to, but we’ll be home, ready to welcome two families or ten. If there are ten, the older kids can play at the park. The parents can sit around drinking iced tea or champagne. And catching up. And if anyone wants to stay for dinner, we can order pizza. Perhaps it is a bit slack, but it is manageable, sociable and I’m trying to keep people in the loop (I do like to connect people with similar interests) and not falling off the radar. Perhaps in a few years we’ll graduate to dinner parties, but for now, this will do.
So, I’ve been Spring Cleaning. I’ve vacuumed under the beds and cleaned the windows and sorted through our stuff and taken lots to the op shop (seriously depressing exercise to walk into an op shop overflowing with stuff. And I’m a little more anxious about letting go of my things that I should be - I want that dress to go to someone who will LOVE it, and I want those shoes to be displayed on a shelf and not thrown into a tub - but it is out of my hands...) It has been a good exercise to take stock of what we have - trying to know, love and use everything in the house - I'm starting with 'know'. And a good exercise to finally let go the dresses and shoes I haven’t worn since I had my first child nearly eleven years ago. I guess I’ve accepted that my life will never be like my pre-mothering life again. That is, flat shoes and sports bras from here on.
I’m taking the opportunity in January to catch up with friends. I’ve noticed that if we don’t see people as part of our weekly schedule, that is, we don’t go to the same school, pool, or dance class, then we just don’t see those families. Last year I hosted a few Sunday lunches where I invited a few families over at a time, which took a lot of organising to work out who was available when. This month I’ve announced we’ll be hosting Sunday afternoon teas every week in January and I’ve invited all the families I don’t usually see in the course of our everyday lives. The families we might run into at the shops and say, ‘We must catch up’. Most families in Sydney go on holidays in January, so it is very tricky to keep track of who is around when. For those who are home, and might be looking for something to do, come on over. Those invited can come every week, or the one week they want to, but we’ll be home, ready to welcome two families or ten. If there are ten, the older kids can play at the park. The parents can sit around drinking iced tea or champagne. And catching up. And if anyone wants to stay for dinner, we can order pizza. Perhaps it is a bit slack, but it is manageable, sociable and I’m trying to keep people in the loop (I do like to connect people with similar interests) and not falling off the radar. Perhaps in a few years we’ll graduate to dinner parties, but for now, this will do.
Girls can do anything, so why teach?
I remember as a teenager the sign that used to appear inside the train carriages that said ‘Girls can do anything.’ I think it was a TAFE advertisement to get girls into courses for trades. I remember the girls at school talking about how they could do anything. And, the implication was, why would a girl want to do mothering, or become a nurse, or a teacher? We had the world at our feet. I remember a friend of mine, a friend who was ambitious in the arts (as I was), a friend who has had a successful career in the arts and has lived and worked for many years in New York (as I haven’t), a friend who told me that if I wasn’t going to be a ‘somebody’ I couldn’t be her friend (we are no longer friends), a friend who did not go on to have kids (as I did), well I remember this friend saying, when we were at high school, that teachers had premature menopause.
Well, now I’m pre-menopausal and I’m going to become a teacher.
This is something I’ve been thinking about lately, reconciling myself with becoming a teacher. The implications of that. The fact I have resisted so long with the path that has been bloody obvious. The issue of teachers having lower status in our society than they should have. I’m thinking that after being a stay at home mum for eleven years, so far, there is only one way to go in terms of social status and that’s up.
I believe that teachers deserve more respect. I believe that it is a job you can bring yourself to, your intelligence and creativity (and you don’t need to wear a suit, which was the reason I gave my father, when I was a teenager, why I didn’t want to study law). I believe a good teacher can make positive changes in society. And, as with mothering, I can work at improving the status of teachers from within. And I believe it is one of very few jobs that fit with having a family. Yes, we can talk about how we could change the hours of work, or of school, and that school holidays could fit better with working life. (Why do we take six weeks out in Summer? We don't need the kids to bring in the harvest. And it means we are stuffing the rest of our lives into a shorter working/school year.) But that sort of change isn't about to happen in my working lifetime.
I’ve spent most of my life dabbling in the arts and now I can use that knowledge and creativity in a way that is meaningful. And I’ll know where my paycheque is coming from. I may even reference the work of my ex-friend who now designs for the New York stage.
Well, now I’m pre-menopausal and I’m going to become a teacher.
This is something I’ve been thinking about lately, reconciling myself with becoming a teacher. The implications of that. The fact I have resisted so long with the path that has been bloody obvious. The issue of teachers having lower status in our society than they should have. I’m thinking that after being a stay at home mum for eleven years, so far, there is only one way to go in terms of social status and that’s up.
I believe that teachers deserve more respect. I believe that it is a job you can bring yourself to, your intelligence and creativity (and you don’t need to wear a suit, which was the reason I gave my father, when I was a teenager, why I didn’t want to study law). I believe a good teacher can make positive changes in society. And, as with mothering, I can work at improving the status of teachers from within. And I believe it is one of very few jobs that fit with having a family. Yes, we can talk about how we could change the hours of work, or of school, and that school holidays could fit better with working life. (Why do we take six weeks out in Summer? We don't need the kids to bring in the harvest. And it means we are stuffing the rest of our lives into a shorter working/school year.) But that sort of change isn't about to happen in my working lifetime.
I’ve spent most of my life dabbling in the arts and now I can use that knowledge and creativity in a way that is meaningful. And I’ll know where my paycheque is coming from. I may even reference the work of my ex-friend who now designs for the New York stage.
Why Chinese Mothers are Superior
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html#articleTabs%3Darticle
A high achieving Chinese mother explains how her ideas about parenting push her kids to success. This is a topic of conversation amongst mothers I know who talk about kids at school who are forced to do coaching all through their school lives, are not allowed to play sport or have playdates, and are forced to study all weekend. It is interesting to see her views, which explain why Chinese mothers don't volunteer to help at school, or get involved in P&C. Also interesting that the arts, beyond playing piano or violin, are not considered worthwhile.
Discussion on the mum forum includes the usual 'this is not what childhood should be about' to women who wish their mothers pushed them more.
And there were articles in SMH this week stating the importance of physical exercise for kids, and the value of the arts in children's education. (Says me, who has her daughter at an intensive international dance school this week - she wants to be there! and wondering if said daughter wants to go to a selective school, and if so, should she do some coaching?) A friend of mine suggests that having your kids coached in maths every week isn't really very different from insisting your children practise their instruments a half hour a day.
So many things to consider. So many paths to chose. All can be rationalised. What I'm wondering is, am I being the mother my children need? Would I want me as a mother?
A high achieving Chinese mother explains how her ideas about parenting push her kids to success. This is a topic of conversation amongst mothers I know who talk about kids at school who are forced to do coaching all through their school lives, are not allowed to play sport or have playdates, and are forced to study all weekend. It is interesting to see her views, which explain why Chinese mothers don't volunteer to help at school, or get involved in P&C. Also interesting that the arts, beyond playing piano or violin, are not considered worthwhile.
Discussion on the mum forum includes the usual 'this is not what childhood should be about' to women who wish their mothers pushed them more.
And there were articles in SMH this week stating the importance of physical exercise for kids, and the value of the arts in children's education. (Says me, who has her daughter at an intensive international dance school this week - she wants to be there! and wondering if said daughter wants to go to a selective school, and if so, should she do some coaching?) A friend of mine suggests that having your kids coached in maths every week isn't really very different from insisting your children practise their instruments a half hour a day.
So many things to consider. So many paths to chose. All can be rationalised. What I'm wondering is, am I being the mother my children need? Would I want me as a mother?
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Torn
I feel inspired by this:
http://www.sunset.com/home/natural-home/zero-waste-home-0111-00418000069984/
I've been following her blog The Zero Waste Home.
My home looks nothing like hers. As much as I'm interested in not accumulating junk, and as much as I'm trying to be aware of where everything comes from and where it goes, and as much as I'm trying to keep toxins out of the home, I still find it difficult, and I've made an observation. It struck me when I read in the article that Bea has no books in her house except library books. I'm thinking, not even a dictionary. And thinking, where is the music? Is it all stored digitally? The only art on the walls is the green growing wall. Nice, but not really tapping into what what art is. I also noticed that my neatest friend, who limits all the clothes, shoes, music, books in the house, (who reads the school newsletter and puts it straight in the recycling bin) doesn't really care about art and music and fashion and literature. She likes what she likes, but she doesn't collect or revel in or really CARE about these things. When I told her how hard it was to try to throw out books, she suggested I should only need one bookcase of books. Sacrilege. Impossible.
So, I'm coming around to thinking, it is easy to keep an uncluttered house if you don't care about art and fashion and literature and music. Can I limit these? I can try. Can I cut back more on everything else? Yes I can. Can I try to use whatever I have? Yes I can. Can I try to bring not another thing into the house? I can try.
Do I know, love and use everything in the house? No.
Now on with the decluttering and dusting.
http://www.sunset.com/home/natural-home/zero-waste-home-0111-00418000069984/
I've been following her blog The Zero Waste Home.
My home looks nothing like hers. As much as I'm interested in not accumulating junk, and as much as I'm trying to be aware of where everything comes from and where it goes, and as much as I'm trying to keep toxins out of the home, I still find it difficult, and I've made an observation. It struck me when I read in the article that Bea has no books in her house except library books. I'm thinking, not even a dictionary. And thinking, where is the music? Is it all stored digitally? The only art on the walls is the green growing wall. Nice, but not really tapping into what what art is. I also noticed that my neatest friend, who limits all the clothes, shoes, music, books in the house, (who reads the school newsletter and puts it straight in the recycling bin) doesn't really care about art and music and fashion and literature. She likes what she likes, but she doesn't collect or revel in or really CARE about these things. When I told her how hard it was to try to throw out books, she suggested I should only need one bookcase of books. Sacrilege. Impossible.
So, I'm coming around to thinking, it is easy to keep an uncluttered house if you don't care about art and fashion and literature and music. Can I limit these? I can try. Can I cut back more on everything else? Yes I can. Can I try to use whatever I have? Yes I can. Can I try to bring not another thing into the house? I can try.
Do I know, love and use everything in the house? No.
Now on with the decluttering and dusting.
Monday, January 03, 2011
2011 - too much to do
I don’t have any New Year’s Resolutions to make. (I already go to the gym and eat well. I could arrange to socialise more. And yes, I know, I need to clean the house better.)I don't have resolutions like these from women in The Guardian:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/31/my-new-years-resolution
However, I do have some decisions to make about how I’ll spend my year. Here are the options. Suggestions and opinions welcome.
Attend the A-MIRCI conference at UQ in April and deliver a paper about mothering in songs. Which means, basically, talk about and play some recordings of songs (I’ve already done the research).
I've been a member of the Greens for the last few years - how involved do I want to be in the state election?
Do a WEA course on great thinkers of the 19th Century.
Do an art class - I really like them!
Join the local community choir.
Make a cookbook for the school about using fruit and vegetables (this was my idea and I said I would do it as a fundraiser we could sell at the fete).
Work on the school fete.
Keep attending P&C meetings.
Do Reading Recovery at school, which means I have three kids I read with each week. I did this in 2010 and really enjoyed it. The local high school also needs reading tutors for girls who have recently arrived in Australia.
Volunteer for uniform shop at school, which I’ve been doing the last few years. It’s fun.
Help out in my kids’ classrooms. Three kids, three sessions each week. The kids like me doing this, but my enjoyment depends on the teachers and the kids.
Do the Teaching Ethics course and teach at another school each week. (I wouldn’t teach at our school - want to avoid the politics - and I’m not convinced I want to be involved in another school.)
I’m already committed to being President of the local Community Centre Management Committee and we are reviewing lots of documentation this year. And we'll be hiring staff.
I’m still a member of the babysitting club I started several years ago, and it is time to do some housekeeping and revise the rules.
Create some paid work for myself, which means either selling some writing, or devising and delivering the course on Mothering in Context that I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I could do it through a community college.
And, the major already happening thing, starting my Grad Dip Ed. This is supposed to take 24 hours a week, however, doing essays, we know, may mean it takes longer. (I'm sure I spent longer than 24 hours a week doing two subjects of an MA in English last semester.) It also means doing pracs at schools, which increase from two weeks to four to six, and would disrupt any weekly commitments. The thing I need to decide is whether to teach English, or to teach English and Drama. If I do drama as well, I need to do two residential schools with teachers who used to be my friends. That would be fun. If I just do English, I take extra English subjects in my course, and they look interesting too. What do you think? Am I a high school English teacher? Or high school English and drama teacher?
Of course, I can’t do everything in one year, so will have to eliminate lots of volunteering and nearly everything that’s just for fun. Looks like that leaves the Dip Ed, Community Centre, A-MIRCI conference, babysitting club, working for money and making the cookbook. The things I’ve already committed to, or are necessary for the family’s future.
The kids will be busy too - dance classes after school and Saturdays, and lots of extra-curricula activities through school - four bands, two instruments, dance groups, choir, busy busy, and the youngest wants to do drama classes. I'm thinking there will be serious visits to the orthodontists' as well.
Any comments? Suggestions? Anything I haven't considered?
Thanks
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/31/my-new-years-resolution
However, I do have some decisions to make about how I’ll spend my year. Here are the options. Suggestions and opinions welcome.
Attend the A-MIRCI conference at UQ in April and deliver a paper about mothering in songs. Which means, basically, talk about and play some recordings of songs (I’ve already done the research).
I've been a member of the Greens for the last few years - how involved do I want to be in the state election?
Do a WEA course on great thinkers of the 19th Century.
Do an art class - I really like them!
Join the local community choir.
Make a cookbook for the school about using fruit and vegetables (this was my idea and I said I would do it as a fundraiser we could sell at the fete).
Work on the school fete.
Keep attending P&C meetings.
Do Reading Recovery at school, which means I have three kids I read with each week. I did this in 2010 and really enjoyed it. The local high school also needs reading tutors for girls who have recently arrived in Australia.
Volunteer for uniform shop at school, which I’ve been doing the last few years. It’s fun.
Help out in my kids’ classrooms. Three kids, three sessions each week. The kids like me doing this, but my enjoyment depends on the teachers and the kids.
Do the Teaching Ethics course and teach at another school each week. (I wouldn’t teach at our school - want to avoid the politics - and I’m not convinced I want to be involved in another school.)
I’m already committed to being President of the local Community Centre Management Committee and we are reviewing lots of documentation this year. And we'll be hiring staff.
I’m still a member of the babysitting club I started several years ago, and it is time to do some housekeeping and revise the rules.
Create some paid work for myself, which means either selling some writing, or devising and delivering the course on Mothering in Context that I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I could do it through a community college.
And, the major already happening thing, starting my Grad Dip Ed. This is supposed to take 24 hours a week, however, doing essays, we know, may mean it takes longer. (I'm sure I spent longer than 24 hours a week doing two subjects of an MA in English last semester.) It also means doing pracs at schools, which increase from two weeks to four to six, and would disrupt any weekly commitments. The thing I need to decide is whether to teach English, or to teach English and Drama. If I do drama as well, I need to do two residential schools with teachers who used to be my friends. That would be fun. If I just do English, I take extra English subjects in my course, and they look interesting too. What do you think? Am I a high school English teacher? Or high school English and drama teacher?
Of course, I can’t do everything in one year, so will have to eliminate lots of volunteering and nearly everything that’s just for fun. Looks like that leaves the Dip Ed, Community Centre, A-MIRCI conference, babysitting club, working for money and making the cookbook. The things I’ve already committed to, or are necessary for the family’s future.
The kids will be busy too - dance classes after school and Saturdays, and lots of extra-curricula activities through school - four bands, two instruments, dance groups, choir, busy busy, and the youngest wants to do drama classes. I'm thinking there will be serious visits to the orthodontists' as well.
Any comments? Suggestions? Anything I haven't considered?
Thanks
My piece in SMH
Just sharing.
I don't know how this qualifies as feminist parenting, so I'll consider it parenting against the flow of our culture. I have a Heckler piece in The Sydney Morning Herald today.
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/seize-the-day-by-all-means-but-dont-grab-20110103-19dse.html
And, for good measure, I'll share a letter I had in SMH on Dec 14 2010 which I can claim as feminist action.
Word power
As a language snob, I hear Niall McKay's call (Letters, December 11-12). The most lazy use I notice is the overuse of the words ''sexy'' and ''hot'', so I offer the following alternatives: attractive, strong, fit, healthy, sensual, appealing, enticing, engrossing, alluring, delightful, lovable, lovely, lusty, lewd, bawdy, charming, carnal, voluptuous, inviting, exciting, fiery, tantalising, lascivious, salacious, suggestive, libidinous. And that's just for people, not things.
There are many more, and I want them reclaimed. Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, Ira Gershwin, Sammy Cahn, Oscar Hammerstein II, Lorenz Hart and Johnny Mercer managed to say so much without calling everything sexy or hot. Magazine editors and TV talent show judges, take note.
Catherine Walsh
I'm kicking myself for leaving out 'amorous' since the song in my head at the time was S'Wonderful.
I don't know how this qualifies as feminist parenting, so I'll consider it parenting against the flow of our culture. I have a Heckler piece in The Sydney Morning Herald today.
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/seize-the-day-by-all-means-but-dont-grab-20110103-19dse.html
And, for good measure, I'll share a letter I had in SMH on Dec 14 2010 which I can claim as feminist action.
Word power
As a language snob, I hear Niall McKay's call (Letters, December 11-12). The most lazy use I notice is the overuse of the words ''sexy'' and ''hot'', so I offer the following alternatives: attractive, strong, fit, healthy, sensual, appealing, enticing, engrossing, alluring, delightful, lovable, lovely, lusty, lewd, bawdy, charming, carnal, voluptuous, inviting, exciting, fiery, tantalising, lascivious, salacious, suggestive, libidinous. And that's just for people, not things.
There are many more, and I want them reclaimed. Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, Ira Gershwin, Sammy Cahn, Oscar Hammerstein II, Lorenz Hart and Johnny Mercer managed to say so much without calling everything sexy or hot. Magazine editors and TV talent show judges, take note.
Catherine Walsh
I'm kicking myself for leaving out 'amorous' since the song in my head at the time was S'Wonderful.
Our holiday
We've just returned from a rare family holiday.
We went to a NSW Sport and Recreation camp, and it is something that I can recommend.
One payment covers accommodation, activities and all meals. I loved not having to cook and clean up, and the food was good. We loved trying new activities, the accommodation was fine, and the other families there were nice.
My oldest daughter turns out to be a good sailor. My middle girl tried everything that involved height and harnesses - climbing, giant swing and flying fox. My youngest was happy to have lots of people to socialise with and loved being at the pool. Turns out I'm not too shabby at archery. I learned that my oldest is lovely to go kayaking with. Everyone had time with everyone else in the family. And we had lots of time to read.
An added bonus was seeing fireworks on New Years Eve. In Sydney we have never ventured out for the mayhem on the Harbour. Up the coast we drove for five minutes, parked, waited on grass by the bay for five minutes, watched the spectacular display of fireworks (so 3D), and were back by 9.30pm. How cool is that?
The centre wasn't all booked out with families though. They also hosted a large group of deaf people, who we interacted with. The kids were interested to watch them. What I noticed was how open they were. None were connected to ipods or mobile phones - they were available for communication with the people they were with. I like that.
We're planning to go again next year. They also have holiday camps just for kids and my kids are interested in going on their own sometime, now they know how the whole camp thing operates.
Now back to the rest of our lives. I really have taken a break from thinking about our usual lives. I didn't make a list the whole time we were there. I even read a trashy novel - I won't be doing that in a hurry again...
An easy way to holiday.
We went to a NSW Sport and Recreation camp, and it is something that I can recommend.
One payment covers accommodation, activities and all meals. I loved not having to cook and clean up, and the food was good. We loved trying new activities, the accommodation was fine, and the other families there were nice.
My oldest daughter turns out to be a good sailor. My middle girl tried everything that involved height and harnesses - climbing, giant swing and flying fox. My youngest was happy to have lots of people to socialise with and loved being at the pool. Turns out I'm not too shabby at archery. I learned that my oldest is lovely to go kayaking with. Everyone had time with everyone else in the family. And we had lots of time to read.
An added bonus was seeing fireworks on New Years Eve. In Sydney we have never ventured out for the mayhem on the Harbour. Up the coast we drove for five minutes, parked, waited on grass by the bay for five minutes, watched the spectacular display of fireworks (so 3D), and were back by 9.30pm. How cool is that?
The centre wasn't all booked out with families though. They also hosted a large group of deaf people, who we interacted with. The kids were interested to watch them. What I noticed was how open they were. None were connected to ipods or mobile phones - they were available for communication with the people they were with. I like that.
We're planning to go again next year. They also have holiday camps just for kids and my kids are interested in going on their own sometime, now they know how the whole camp thing operates.
Now back to the rest of our lives. I really have taken a break from thinking about our usual lives. I didn't make a list the whole time we were there. I even read a trashy novel - I won't be doing that in a hurry again...
An easy way to holiday.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Young Media
Young Media are running a survey about children's television. You can participate by clicking on the link below. Also they are organising a conference on children and the media for March next year. Details on their website.
http://www.youngmedia.org.au/
http://www.youngmedia.org.au/
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Taking power
http://www.smh.com.au/afl/afl-news/it-was-awful-a-girls-own-misadventure-20101225-197ky.html
A summary of the story of the girl who is embarrassing the AFL by releasing photos of players naked. The girl has not been treated well by the players and is taking revenge.
If she was your friend or daughter or neighbour, what would you advise her? Would you say that this is how men treat women and you just have to cop it sweet? That she was out of her depth, and the situation isn't surprising? Would you say that nobody gives you power, you just have to take it, and do what you can to bring the issues to light? Or would you suggest she get legal advice and go on 60 minutes to tell her story? Is the problem particular to the culture of football players, or is it a broader problem?
What do you think?
A summary of the story of the girl who is embarrassing the AFL by releasing photos of players naked. The girl has not been treated well by the players and is taking revenge.
If she was your friend or daughter or neighbour, what would you advise her? Would you say that this is how men treat women and you just have to cop it sweet? That she was out of her depth, and the situation isn't surprising? Would you say that nobody gives you power, you just have to take it, and do what you can to bring the issues to light? Or would you suggest she get legal advice and go on 60 minutes to tell her story? Is the problem particular to the culture of football players, or is it a broader problem?
What do you think?
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Birth Injuries
A story in The Guardian about birth injuries in the UK, particularly fistula.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/10/torn-apart-by-childbirth
We usually think of fistula as a condition which affects women in developing countries, but it happens here too. The article says that a post on Mumsnet (the UK mum forum) about birth injuries has garnered 1395 posts. Many woman are too embarrassed to get help, and it can effect their relationships and ability to work.
I've read a book about fistula in Australia - it happened to writer Susan Johnson, who underwent repeated surgeries and a colostomy. The book is called 'A Better Woman'.
I fractured my coccyx in childbirth, which was something I was never told could happen.
Do you think we need to be more open about injuries which could result from childbirth? I think we need to create the space where women can talk about what has happened to them, and allow them the support to get the help they need. But how much do we need to tell women who haven't had children? Would it scare them off childbirth?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/10/torn-apart-by-childbirth
We usually think of fistula as a condition which affects women in developing countries, but it happens here too. The article says that a post on Mumsnet (the UK mum forum) about birth injuries has garnered 1395 posts. Many woman are too embarrassed to get help, and it can effect their relationships and ability to work.
I've read a book about fistula in Australia - it happened to writer Susan Johnson, who underwent repeated surgeries and a colostomy. The book is called 'A Better Woman'.
I fractured my coccyx in childbirth, which was something I was never told could happen.
Do you think we need to be more open about injuries which could result from childbirth? I think we need to create the space where women can talk about what has happened to them, and allow them the support to get the help they need. But how much do we need to tell women who haven't had children? Would it scare them off childbirth?
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Christmas in Australia
Ah, Christmas in Australia.
Every year I find it more confounding and confusing.
Trying to live according to one’s values and beliefs, while being respectful of other people’s values and beliefs, isn’t always easy. Especially when it comes to Santa.
I can understand celebrating the birth of Jesus if you believe he was born to save us from sin. I can admire the way non-Christians celebrate around the Christian dominance of the season, with pagans celebrating the Summer Solstice, or Jews celebrating Hannukah, and I can acknowledge that being Muslim at Christmastime is a little more tricky. Circumventing the Christian message and celebrating Christmas as a time to be with family and friends is written about by Damon Young in SMH. He says, as an atheist, Christmas is a time of creativity, reflection, gratitude and communion. I’m with him on that. I’m always banging on about the need for ritual and community, and how the church fills these needs. Christmas does too. This piece has drawn 277 comments so far.
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/you-dont-need-jesus-to-enjoy-christmas-20101219-191ud.html
He drew this comment:
Jesus himself was an atheist when it came to believing in a god or gods that justified self-righteous judgment of others, especially the judgment of life's ordinary punters and battlers.
Right Reverend Bruce Wilson retired Anglican bishop, Leura
(SMH Letters 21.12.10)
I love hearing about Jesus the rebel who criticised the church.
Dick Gross, another atheist, wrote about how Christmas belongs to everyone and has garnered 323 comments. http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/blogs/godless-gross/who-owns-christmas/20101217-190ey.html
He suggests that atheists can go with the flow here, that to boycott is churlish and that the story of the birth of Jesus is a story for everyone. I agree. We have to be inclusive and flexible. And I also want to say here that subscribing to a religious institution or religious practice or a form of spirituality can be a personal and fluid and complex thing. I was taught to meditate by a Christian Brother who also identified as Buddhist. I know Christian clerics who are considered rebels. Priests and Brothers and Nuns and Ministers who question the church and do their own thing, or who are more conservative than their congregations. Or religious folk who do not belong to any religious institution but maintain a serious private practice. There is a wide spectrum of religious life. There is a wide spectrum of atheist life. (And that is one reason why I think it is unhelpful to ask children in public primary schools to be slotted into a narrow identifier of religion.)
For many people Christmas is a time to acknowledge great sadnesses - people who have died or have left. At a time when people celebrate togetherness, others can’t escape their aloneness. There is a lot of pressure to be with people we love on the day.
There are lots of things about Christmas in Australia that I don’t understand. We celebrate as if we are in the Northern Hemisphere. We adopt the pagan symbols and rituals as if we are living in the snowy depths of winter. We bring a tree inside and decorate it. We cover shopfronts with fake snow. We eat mince pies and fruit cake and roast dinner. We wear green and red. We sing songs about Jesus and Santa and call them carols by candlelight even though it is daylight savings. During the year we think about the limits of the earth’s resources and reducing our carbon emissions, but come Christmas we wrap lights around the biggest thing we own, our houses, and buy gifts for everyone we know (even family members we hardly ever see, even people who don’t need a thing) and wrap all those presents in Christmas wrapping paper that will go in the bin. We put foam reindeer antlers on our cars. We wear Santa hats. We break bon bons. We buy Christmas decorations for the table. We buy packaged toys galore. We make a lot of rubbish that is going to landfill for hundreds of years.
But strangest of all is the deep and broad conspiracy that is Santa. Every stranger is happy to talk to children about Santa. Every shopping centre has a Santa. Every Post Office collects letters to Santa. The tv is running films about Santa. At no other time of year would we be happy for children to sit on a strange mans’ knee and smile and take their photographs, and accept lollies, and be happy that a strange man is coming into their houses in the middle of the night. It is all very strange. Parents tell children that Santa knows who has been naughty or nice and that you won’t get any presents if you don’t behave. Parents tell their children if they don’t believe, they won’t receive. I wonder if Santa is really a means for parents to try to control their kids. I know a lot of parents really enjoy the pretend of Santa - leaving out a carrot for the reindeer, sneaking out the presents when the children are asleep. Parents say they love the look of joy on their children's faces on Christmas morning and Christmas is a time of magic and wonder and special part of childhood. Because the joy and wonder of the natural world and the human body and the universe just isn’t enough, and the pleasure of receiving gifts from people we know and love isn’t special enough. I really don’t get it.
We tried having Santa when he children were small, but I never felt comfortable about it. A few years ago I only told the children that it was Christmas Day after they had eaten their porridge. There was no-one counting down the days and whipping them into a frenzy. When my oldest child was four she was asking a lot of questions about Santa. If Christmas is Jesus’ birthday, when is Santa’s birthday? The whole logistics of Santa didn’t make sense to her. She said to me ‘tell me the truth’ and I did. I explained the whole thing. That Christmas celebrations took over pagan celebrations. That some people think Jesus was born in April. The way myths grow and change and customs grow from one country to another. I understand how that has happened, but if you step back and look at it, it is all rather bizarre.
If you read the mum forums you will see how much attention parents place on Santa. The photos. The gifts. The pretence. I want to tell them that they don't have to have Santa. He isn't real.
Mothers are running around buying gifts for children, waiting in the Lay Buy queues, hiding presents from their own children and buying for other people’s children. (How many gifts do most children in the affluent west receive for Christmas? Twenty? Thirty?) Mothers are planning and running around and giving the credit of their work to a fictional character. Mothers are shopping for food and planning meals and counting seats and doing the cooking and making the Christmas wheels turn. Meanwhile, news stories report men doing their Christmas shopping on Christmas eve. They don’t care. They turn up on the day for a meal and a drink. They don’t think much about the gifts and preparations.
We need to think about a new way of celebrating Christmas. Sometimes I think if an evil villain wanted to destroy the world, he would introduce Christmas the way we celebrate it now.
So, what I want to say is, lets make Christmas relevant. Lets celebrate in accordance with our values and beliefs, including our concern for the environment. If it is women doing most of the work here, lets rein it in a little. Can we do things differently, and take the pressure off, and find our own meaning, and be a little more conscious about where everything comes from and where it goes and what we really need and what it’s all about?
And, as usual, I’ve been looking for songs, secular Christmas songs. So I’ll leave my Christmas post with Tim Minchin’s White Wine in the Sun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q
Merry Christmas
Every year I find it more confounding and confusing.
Trying to live according to one’s values and beliefs, while being respectful of other people’s values and beliefs, isn’t always easy. Especially when it comes to Santa.
I can understand celebrating the birth of Jesus if you believe he was born to save us from sin. I can admire the way non-Christians celebrate around the Christian dominance of the season, with pagans celebrating the Summer Solstice, or Jews celebrating Hannukah, and I can acknowledge that being Muslim at Christmastime is a little more tricky. Circumventing the Christian message and celebrating Christmas as a time to be with family and friends is written about by Damon Young in SMH. He says, as an atheist, Christmas is a time of creativity, reflection, gratitude and communion. I’m with him on that. I’m always banging on about the need for ritual and community, and how the church fills these needs. Christmas does too. This piece has drawn 277 comments so far.
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/you-dont-need-jesus-to-enjoy-christmas-20101219-191ud.html
He drew this comment:
Jesus himself was an atheist when it came to believing in a god or gods that justified self-righteous judgment of others, especially the judgment of life's ordinary punters and battlers.
Right Reverend Bruce Wilson retired Anglican bishop, Leura
(SMH Letters 21.12.10)
I love hearing about Jesus the rebel who criticised the church.
Dick Gross, another atheist, wrote about how Christmas belongs to everyone and has garnered 323 comments. http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/blogs/godless-gross/who-owns-christmas/20101217-190ey.html
He suggests that atheists can go with the flow here, that to boycott is churlish and that the story of the birth of Jesus is a story for everyone. I agree. We have to be inclusive and flexible. And I also want to say here that subscribing to a religious institution or religious practice or a form of spirituality can be a personal and fluid and complex thing. I was taught to meditate by a Christian Brother who also identified as Buddhist. I know Christian clerics who are considered rebels. Priests and Brothers and Nuns and Ministers who question the church and do their own thing, or who are more conservative than their congregations. Or religious folk who do not belong to any religious institution but maintain a serious private practice. There is a wide spectrum of religious life. There is a wide spectrum of atheist life. (And that is one reason why I think it is unhelpful to ask children in public primary schools to be slotted into a narrow identifier of religion.)
For many people Christmas is a time to acknowledge great sadnesses - people who have died or have left. At a time when people celebrate togetherness, others can’t escape their aloneness. There is a lot of pressure to be with people we love on the day.
There are lots of things about Christmas in Australia that I don’t understand. We celebrate as if we are in the Northern Hemisphere. We adopt the pagan symbols and rituals as if we are living in the snowy depths of winter. We bring a tree inside and decorate it. We cover shopfronts with fake snow. We eat mince pies and fruit cake and roast dinner. We wear green and red. We sing songs about Jesus and Santa and call them carols by candlelight even though it is daylight savings. During the year we think about the limits of the earth’s resources and reducing our carbon emissions, but come Christmas we wrap lights around the biggest thing we own, our houses, and buy gifts for everyone we know (even family members we hardly ever see, even people who don’t need a thing) and wrap all those presents in Christmas wrapping paper that will go in the bin. We put foam reindeer antlers on our cars. We wear Santa hats. We break bon bons. We buy Christmas decorations for the table. We buy packaged toys galore. We make a lot of rubbish that is going to landfill for hundreds of years.
But strangest of all is the deep and broad conspiracy that is Santa. Every stranger is happy to talk to children about Santa. Every shopping centre has a Santa. Every Post Office collects letters to Santa. The tv is running films about Santa. At no other time of year would we be happy for children to sit on a strange mans’ knee and smile and take their photographs, and accept lollies, and be happy that a strange man is coming into their houses in the middle of the night. It is all very strange. Parents tell children that Santa knows who has been naughty or nice and that you won’t get any presents if you don’t behave. Parents tell their children if they don’t believe, they won’t receive. I wonder if Santa is really a means for parents to try to control their kids. I know a lot of parents really enjoy the pretend of Santa - leaving out a carrot for the reindeer, sneaking out the presents when the children are asleep. Parents say they love the look of joy on their children's faces on Christmas morning and Christmas is a time of magic and wonder and special part of childhood. Because the joy and wonder of the natural world and the human body and the universe just isn’t enough, and the pleasure of receiving gifts from people we know and love isn’t special enough. I really don’t get it.
We tried having Santa when he children were small, but I never felt comfortable about it. A few years ago I only told the children that it was Christmas Day after they had eaten their porridge. There was no-one counting down the days and whipping them into a frenzy. When my oldest child was four she was asking a lot of questions about Santa. If Christmas is Jesus’ birthday, when is Santa’s birthday? The whole logistics of Santa didn’t make sense to her. She said to me ‘tell me the truth’ and I did. I explained the whole thing. That Christmas celebrations took over pagan celebrations. That some people think Jesus was born in April. The way myths grow and change and customs grow from one country to another. I understand how that has happened, but if you step back and look at it, it is all rather bizarre.
If you read the mum forums you will see how much attention parents place on Santa. The photos. The gifts. The pretence. I want to tell them that they don't have to have Santa. He isn't real.
Mothers are running around buying gifts for children, waiting in the Lay Buy queues, hiding presents from their own children and buying for other people’s children. (How many gifts do most children in the affluent west receive for Christmas? Twenty? Thirty?) Mothers are planning and running around and giving the credit of their work to a fictional character. Mothers are shopping for food and planning meals and counting seats and doing the cooking and making the Christmas wheels turn. Meanwhile, news stories report men doing their Christmas shopping on Christmas eve. They don’t care. They turn up on the day for a meal and a drink. They don’t think much about the gifts and preparations.
We need to think about a new way of celebrating Christmas. Sometimes I think if an evil villain wanted to destroy the world, he would introduce Christmas the way we celebrate it now.
So, what I want to say is, lets make Christmas relevant. Lets celebrate in accordance with our values and beliefs, including our concern for the environment. If it is women doing most of the work here, lets rein it in a little. Can we do things differently, and take the pressure off, and find our own meaning, and be a little more conscious about where everything comes from and where it goes and what we really need and what it’s all about?
And, as usual, I’ve been looking for songs, secular Christmas songs. So I’ll leave my Christmas post with Tim Minchin’s White Wine in the Sun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q
Merry Christmas
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Advice for new mums
My daughter's teacher is about to have a baby. I offered to send her some tips and resources (without being overwhelming). This is what I sent her. (I didn't mention the fact that I fractured my coccyx during childbirth because no-one caught the baby during a fast delivery - first babies usually aren't fast deliveries.) What advice would you give to someone who was about to have her first baby?
My birth tip - take laxatives to hospital and take one each day until you no longer need to.
Don’t forget the placenta - it could take up to 45 mins to deliver the placenta, so you don’t want to invite people in just after the birth of the baby - you might not be finished and cleaned up yet (not very presentable when holding a baby, hovering over slops with the umbilical cord, with scissors on the end, hanging out of you.)
If you need help with breastfeeding, ask. Keep asking. Never poke or restrict your breasts - you’ll get mastitis. Learn about mastitis now so you know what to look out for.
summer pouch (I also liked hug-a-bub wrap sling)
http://www.mothersdirect.com.au/catalogue/id/125/cid/31/parent/0/pid/31/t/catalogue/title/ABA+Cool+Sling
Online forums - you can ask questions, have a chat, get help
Essential Baby
http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/
Bubhub
http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/
Calming a baby
Singing to baby is to keep the mum calm
Wrap - keep wrapping
Try to have the baby self settle before s/he can move around too much, ie, before 6 months, put baby in cot to sleep (not holding or feeding to sleep). After six months it is much harder to teach babies to self settle (when they are standing up in the cot.) By 6 months, have a routine.
Mum blogs here
http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/#
Be with other mums
Join the mothers group, playgroup etc, go to everything where you meet other mums with babies the same age. Network.
Accept any help offered.
You don’t have to sign up to any prescriptive method. You can do a bit of attachment parenting, a bit of Gina Ford, a bit of any style that works for you. Do what you are comfortable doing. You probably don't need and won't use most of the baby stuff in the shops.
Nothing is ever the baby’s fault.
Sometimes you will feel like it is.
The beginning is just about bodies.
Yours as well as the baby's. Eat. Sleep. Poo. The basics of life. Stay well. Then exercise, play, and some stimulation, (as well as eat, sleep poo) for you as well as the baby.
Good luck, and feel free to ask me anything. I'm here.
I should have added it is good to work out a policy for when to give panadol, go to the doctor's and go to hospital. It took a while to work that out, and having a sick baby is rather frightening...
My birth tip - take laxatives to hospital and take one each day until you no longer need to.
Don’t forget the placenta - it could take up to 45 mins to deliver the placenta, so you don’t want to invite people in just after the birth of the baby - you might not be finished and cleaned up yet (not very presentable when holding a baby, hovering over slops with the umbilical cord, with scissors on the end, hanging out of you.)
If you need help with breastfeeding, ask. Keep asking. Never poke or restrict your breasts - you’ll get mastitis. Learn about mastitis now so you know what to look out for.
summer pouch (I also liked hug-a-bub wrap sling)
http://www.mothersdirect.com.au/catalogue/id/125/cid/31/parent/0/pid/31/t/catalogue/title/ABA+Cool+Sling
Online forums - you can ask questions, have a chat, get help
Essential Baby
http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/
Bubhub
http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/
Calming a baby
Singing to baby is to keep the mum calm
Wrap - keep wrapping
Try to have the baby self settle before s/he can move around too much, ie, before 6 months, put baby in cot to sleep (not holding or feeding to sleep). After six months it is much harder to teach babies to self settle (when they are standing up in the cot.) By 6 months, have a routine.
Mum blogs here
http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/#
Be with other mums
Join the mothers group, playgroup etc, go to everything where you meet other mums with babies the same age. Network.
Accept any help offered.
You don’t have to sign up to any prescriptive method. You can do a bit of attachment parenting, a bit of Gina Ford, a bit of any style that works for you. Do what you are comfortable doing. You probably don't need and won't use most of the baby stuff in the shops.
Nothing is ever the baby’s fault.
Sometimes you will feel like it is.
The beginning is just about bodies.
Yours as well as the baby's. Eat. Sleep. Poo. The basics of life. Stay well. Then exercise, play, and some stimulation, (as well as eat, sleep poo) for you as well as the baby.
Good luck, and feel free to ask me anything. I'm here.
I should have added it is good to work out a policy for when to give panadol, go to the doctor's and go to hospital. It took a while to work that out, and having a sick baby is rather frightening...
Friday, December 17, 2010
Mothering and Literacies
I regularly receive emails calling for people to review books, contribute to journals or give presentations at conferences about a range of issues around mothering. I thought I'd share this one, since someone might want to contribute to this publication. The range of suggestions is vast. I might write something myself.
CALL FOR PAPERS
Demeter Press
is seeking submissions for an edited collection on
Mothering and Literacies
Editor: Amanda Richey Publication Date: 2012/2013
Deadline for abstracts: April 15, 2011
This collection will explore the connections between mothering/motherhood and literacy as it is broadly defined. Literacy, in this case, encompasses reading/writing literacy as well as multimodal, "new"/digital, and contested multiliteracies that are socio-culturally situated and contextually defined. Mothers are often the object of cultural and popular discourses on family literacy, as well as targets in international campaigns to increase literacy learning. There has been little scholarly attention paid to how mothers in diverse socio-cultural contexts do literacy, as well as how "new" digital literacies have been mediated or challenged by mothers and motherhood. By critically examining the connections between mothers and literacies, this collection will open up a new area of inquiry. We especially encourage submissions that interrogate popular discourses about mothering and literacy in and out of educational contexts. Also welcome in this volume are alternative or new definitions of literacy/literacies across a diverse array of community contexts and disciplinary areas.
Suggested topics may include but are not limited to:
Motherhood studies' and New Literacy Studies; family literacy; race, class, ethnicity and mothering; Motherwork; Adrienne Rich and literacy; being mothered in school; intersectionality, constructions of mothering/motherhood as literate practice, as social activism, as a set of literacies; reading/literacy education; teen pregnancy and school experience; literacy narratives; pedagogical practices in prek-16 (and beyond); adult education pedagogy; Paulo Freire and motherhood/parenthood; mothers and fathers "doing" literacy; mothering as literacy; motherhood and poetry, blogging, fiction, nonfiction, essay-writing, mommyblogging; the "new momism;" parenting as literacy, autoethnography of mothering and literacy learning/teaching; multiliteracies; language learning and mothering; homework literacies; cyber-literacies; health literacies and reproductive technologies; literacy/motherhood journey; narrative & autobiographical accounts of literacy; mothering in educational contexts; "other" mothers in education; gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender mothering and literacy; reading and writing though/about pregnancy, birth, motherhood, adoption; photojournalism/photo-documentation as literacy; Facebook as a "new literacy" for mothers/mothering; bicultural/bilingual family literacy; international mothering; women's literacy initiatives in international development; family literacy discourses; "teach the parent, reach the child," and popular literacy advice; discourse analysis of literacy advice/texts/campaigns; quilting/sewing/cooking as literacy; oral literacy, storytelling and motherhood; feminist literacy; popular cultural and the maternal; homeschooling literacy and family practices; mothers, religion, and literacy; mothering in the academy; mothering as literacy assessment; grieving literacies; deconstructing literacy; critical literacy in education and beyond; educational policy, motherhood, and literacy
Submission Guidelines:
Abstract submissions should be 250 words. Please also include a brief biography (50 words).
Deadline for abstracts is April 15st, 2011
Please send submissions directly to
Amanda Richey at amandarichey73@gmail.com
Accepted papers of 4000-5000 words (15-20 pages) will be due November 1st, 2011
and should conform to MLA style.
Demeter Press
140 Holland St. West, PO 13022
Bradford, ON, L3Z 2Y5
http://www.demeterpress.org info@demeterpress.org
CALL FOR PAPERS
Demeter Press
is seeking submissions for an edited collection on
Mothering and Literacies
Editor: Amanda Richey Publication Date: 2012/2013
Deadline for abstracts: April 15, 2011
This collection will explore the connections between mothering/motherhood and literacy as it is broadly defined. Literacy, in this case, encompasses reading/writing literacy as well as multimodal, "new"/digital, and contested multiliteracies that are socio-culturally situated and contextually defined. Mothers are often the object of cultural and popular discourses on family literacy, as well as targets in international campaigns to increase literacy learning. There has been little scholarly attention paid to how mothers in diverse socio-cultural contexts do literacy, as well as how "new" digital literacies have been mediated or challenged by mothers and motherhood. By critically examining the connections between mothers and literacies, this collection will open up a new area of inquiry. We especially encourage submissions that interrogate popular discourses about mothering and literacy in and out of educational contexts. Also welcome in this volume are alternative or new definitions of literacy/literacies across a diverse array of community contexts and disciplinary areas.
Suggested topics may include but are not limited to:
Motherhood studies' and New Literacy Studies; family literacy; race, class, ethnicity and mothering; Motherwork; Adrienne Rich and literacy; being mothered in school; intersectionality, constructions of mothering/motherhood as literate practice, as social activism, as a set of literacies; reading/literacy education; teen pregnancy and school experience; literacy narratives; pedagogical practices in prek-16 (and beyond); adult education pedagogy; Paulo Freire and motherhood/parenthood; mothers and fathers "doing" literacy; mothering as literacy; motherhood and poetry, blogging, fiction, nonfiction, essay-writing, mommyblogging; the "new momism;" parenting as literacy, autoethnography of mothering and literacy learning/teaching; multiliteracies; language learning and mothering; homework literacies; cyber-literacies; health literacies and reproductive technologies; literacy/motherhood journey; narrative & autobiographical accounts of literacy; mothering in educational contexts; "other" mothers in education; gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender mothering and literacy; reading and writing though/about pregnancy, birth, motherhood, adoption; photojournalism/photo-documentation as literacy; Facebook as a "new literacy" for mothers/mothering; bicultural/bilingual family literacy; international mothering; women's literacy initiatives in international development; family literacy discourses; "teach the parent, reach the child," and popular literacy advice; discourse analysis of literacy advice/texts/campaigns; quilting/sewing/cooking as literacy; oral literacy, storytelling and motherhood; feminist literacy; popular cultural and the maternal; homeschooling literacy and family practices; mothers, religion, and literacy; mothering in the academy; mothering as literacy assessment; grieving literacies; deconstructing literacy; critical literacy in education and beyond; educational policy, motherhood, and literacy
Submission Guidelines:
Abstract submissions should be 250 words. Please also include a brief biography (50 words).
Deadline for abstracts is April 15st, 2011
Please send submissions directly to
Amanda Richey at amandarichey73@gmail.com
Accepted papers of 4000-5000 words (15-20 pages) will be due November 1st, 2011
and should conform to MLA style.
Demeter Press
140 Holland St. West, PO 13022
Bradford, ON, L3Z 2Y5
http://www.demeterpress.org info@demeterpress.org
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Hypatia of Alexandria
A friend of mine has lent me a book on ancient female philosophers. Amongst the women is Hypatia of Alexandria, who lived in the fourth century, was a neo-Platonic philosopher, mathematician, astronomer and teacher. She lived at the time which saw the end of paganism, the rise of Christianity, and conflict between Jews and Christians. Her students gained positions of power, and consulted her whilst in these positions. She wrote three books, one on Ptolemy’s work, one on Conic Sections, and is thought to have invented an instrument to determine the weights of liquids to be administered to the sick. It is possible that Copernicus, who deduced that the sun rather than the earth was the centre of the universe, was influenced by her work.
She taught a type of philosophy that was compatible with paganism and Christianity. Before the age of thirty she was a famous teacher. She taught men, and moved freely in the world of men. The Roman government of the time persecuted pagans and Jews, but paid Hypatia, who was known as a pagan (although there is no documentation of her religion), to head the prestigious school of Plotinus, in the Museum of Alexandria, which was a univeriversity. Alexandria was known as the centre of ancient intellectual life, and the Library housed thousands of volumes of scholarly works. The library was burnt twice. Plutarch (CE 46–120) wrote that during his visit to Alexandria in 48 BCE Julius Caesar accidentally burned the library down when he set fire to his own ships in a strategic military action. The daughter library, based on a collection given to Cleopatra by Marc Antony, was destroyed by the Bishop of Alexandria, who ordered the destruction of the Serapeum (pagan temple) in 391.
Hypatia was killed by a Christian mob who skinned her alive, quartered her and burned her body.
I saw a film yesterday called Agora which tells this story. An agora in ancient Greece was an open space (we get the word agoraphobia from the word), a public space. In ancient Greece it was the centre of government. The film is rated M, because of the violence. What is shows is mostly factual, and it raises lots of issues about many things. The message for me was about religious tolerance, particularly pertinent in light of the ethics course just being introduced in public primary schools in NSW as an option for those who don't subscribe to a world religion. Also, showing a strong woman who excels in her work (and it helps if you keep slaves), it can also be seen as feminist. She remained unmarried, and the way she deterred her suitor in the film is based on truth.
I recommend the film. Let me know what you think.
She taught a type of philosophy that was compatible with paganism and Christianity. Before the age of thirty she was a famous teacher. She taught men, and moved freely in the world of men. The Roman government of the time persecuted pagans and Jews, but paid Hypatia, who was known as a pagan (although there is no documentation of her religion), to head the prestigious school of Plotinus, in the Museum of Alexandria, which was a univeriversity. Alexandria was known as the centre of ancient intellectual life, and the Library housed thousands of volumes of scholarly works. The library was burnt twice. Plutarch (CE 46–120) wrote that during his visit to Alexandria in 48 BCE Julius Caesar accidentally burned the library down when he set fire to his own ships in a strategic military action. The daughter library, based on a collection given to Cleopatra by Marc Antony, was destroyed by the Bishop of Alexandria, who ordered the destruction of the Serapeum (pagan temple) in 391.
Hypatia was killed by a Christian mob who skinned her alive, quartered her and burned her body.
I saw a film yesterday called Agora which tells this story. An agora in ancient Greece was an open space (we get the word agoraphobia from the word), a public space. In ancient Greece it was the centre of government. The film is rated M, because of the violence. What is shows is mostly factual, and it raises lots of issues about many things. The message for me was about religious tolerance, particularly pertinent in light of the ethics course just being introduced in public primary schools in NSW as an option for those who don't subscribe to a world religion. Also, showing a strong woman who excels in her work (and it helps if you keep slaves), it can also be seen as feminist. She remained unmarried, and the way she deterred her suitor in the film is based on truth.
I recommend the film. Let me know what you think.
Conference at Uni Qld, Mothers at the Margins
I'll be attending this conference at UQ in April. Why not see if you can come along too?!?
CALL FOR PAPERS
Mothers at the Margins
Sixth Australian International, Interdisciplinary Conference on Motherhood -
2011
Wednesday, 27 April, 2011- 5pm, - Saturday 30 April, 2011 - 12 noon
The University of Queensland, St Lucia Q 4072, Brisbane, Australia
Final Deadline for Abstracts: January 14, 2011!
Keynote speakers include Andrea O'Reilly and Sonya Andermaher
Send a 200-word abstract and 50-word bio by January 14, 2011
to: Dr Marie Porter (m.porter@uq.edu.au)
Send abstract as attachment with title and name attached
Australian and New Zealand paper-givers must be/become members of ARM-A
Email: jennyjones_qut@yahoo.com.au
International presenters must be/become 2011 members of MIRCI prior to the conference
Email: info@motherhoodinitiative.orgWebsite: http://www.motherhoodinitiative.org
Sponsors
The Faculty of Arts, The University of Queensland
The Centre for Research on Women, Gender, Culture and Social Change, School of EMSAH, the University of Queensland
The Australian Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (formerly ARM-A)
The Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement in Canada (formerly ARM)
The Queensland Centre for Mothers and Babies (QCMB), School of Psychology, the University of Queensland
REGISTRATION INFORMATION
Registration will open in early January 2011. Registration fees are as follows:
Early bird through Friday, 18 February 201
Early Bird (before Feb 19, 2011) and all ARM-A and MIRCI members
E.B Registration - $253.00
E.B. Concession - $187.00
Full registration Saturday, 19 February through Thursday, 21 April 2011
Full Registration - $308.00
*Concession Price - $ 253.00
Day rates - $100
Keynotes $25 each
Registrations close at midnight, Thursday, 21 April 2011.
Cancellation Policy:
Cancellations prior to 3 April - full refund.
Cancellations 3 - 15 April - 50% refund.
Cancellations after 15 April - no refund available.
Registration includes a light supper on Wed. evening, morning and afternoon teas and lunch on Thursday and Friday, and morning tea Saturday.
*Concession rates are applicable to all full-time students and registrants in less than half-time employment.
Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (MIRCI)
140 Holland St. West, PO Box 13022, Bradford, ON, L3Z 2Y5
http://www.motherhoodinitiative.org info@motherhoodinitiative.org
CALL FOR PAPERS
Mothers at the Margins
Sixth Australian International, Interdisciplinary Conference on Motherhood -
2011
Wednesday, 27 April, 2011- 5pm, - Saturday 30 April, 2011 - 12 noon
The University of Queensland, St Lucia Q 4072, Brisbane, Australia
Final Deadline for Abstracts: January 14, 2011!
Keynote speakers include Andrea O'Reilly and Sonya Andermaher
Send a 200-word abstract and 50-word bio by January 14, 2011
to: Dr Marie Porter (m.porter@uq.edu.au)
Send abstract as attachment with title and name attached
Australian and New Zealand paper-givers must be/become members of ARM-A
Email: jennyjones_qut@yahoo.com.au
International presenters must be/become 2011 members of MIRCI prior to the conference
Email: info@motherhoodinitiative.orgWebsite: http://www.motherhoodinitiative.org
Sponsors
The Faculty of Arts, The University of Queensland
The Centre for Research on Women, Gender, Culture and Social Change, School of EMSAH, the University of Queensland
The Australian Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (formerly ARM-A)
The Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement in Canada (formerly ARM)
The Queensland Centre for Mothers and Babies (QCMB), School of Psychology, the University of Queensland
REGISTRATION INFORMATION
Registration will open in early January 2011. Registration fees are as follows:
Early bird through Friday, 18 February 201
Early Bird (before Feb 19, 2011) and all ARM-A and MIRCI members
E.B Registration - $253.00
E.B. Concession - $187.00
Full registration Saturday, 19 February through Thursday, 21 April 2011
Full Registration - $308.00
*Concession Price - $ 253.00
Day rates - $100
Keynotes $25 each
Registrations close at midnight, Thursday, 21 April 2011.
Cancellation Policy:
Cancellations prior to 3 April - full refund.
Cancellations 3 - 15 April - 50% refund.
Cancellations after 15 April - no refund available.
Registration includes a light supper on Wed. evening, morning and afternoon teas and lunch on Thursday and Friday, and morning tea Saturday.
*Concession rates are applicable to all full-time students and registrants in less than half-time employment.
Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (MIRCI)
140 Holland St. West, PO Box 13022, Bradford, ON, L3Z 2Y5
http://www.motherhoodinitiative.org info@motherhoodinitiative.org
Sunday, December 05, 2010
Mothers Be Heard
I'd like to give a shout out to Felicity Chapman in Adelaide. Her site is Mothers Be Heard. You can find it here.
http://www.mothersbeheard.com/
I met Felicity at a conference for the Association for Research in Mothering. She is a counsellor and community worker who is active in supporting mothers. She devised and runs workshops in maternal health and believes we need to acknowledge the complexity of the transition to motherhood by listening to mothers.
Have a look at her website, where she shares book reviews, resources, and women's stories. You can share your own.
Well done Felicity!
http://www.mothersbeheard.com/
I met Felicity at a conference for the Association for Research in Mothering. She is a counsellor and community worker who is active in supporting mothers. She devised and runs workshops in maternal health and believes we need to acknowledge the complexity of the transition to motherhood by listening to mothers.
Have a look at her website, where she shares book reviews, resources, and women's stories. You can share your own.
Well done Felicity!
Saturday, December 04, 2010
Volunteer mums push back
A story in The New York Times, bizarrely in the Homes and Garden section, about volunteer mums burning out and dropping out.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/02/garden/02parents.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&ref=general&src=me
Schools in the states seem to have more school functions and fundraisers than we have here, but the politics of volunteering is the same. A small group of people are called upon to do too much. Some quotes:
Around the country there are a number of altruistic, devoted and totally burned-out mothers just like Ms. Lentzner who are becoming emboldened to push back against the relentless requests from their children’s schools for their time. What started out as an admirable civic gesture somehow snowballed into an inability to say no to any committee assignment or project request, and spiraled into night, weekend and after-school commitments, middle-of-the-night e-mail exchanges, as well as frozen dinners, takeout pizza and baby sitters at home. ...
Other forces are at work besides the lack of free time. The growing world of mom blogging has provided ample forums for exposing the darker feelings of motherhood, and a number of women have taken to cyberspace to gripe about school volunteer work. Some complain that the system preys on maternal guilt and that it creates a sense that a mother’s worthiness is measured in how many hours she puts in at her children’s schools. Under the headline “Just Say NO to Volunteering,” Sarah Auerswald, a former PTA president in Los Angeles, wrote in June, “What I am about to say is not very PC, so get ready: Moms, stop volunteering so much.”
Ms. Auerswald, who estimated that she had sat through 1,000 meetings over the last 10 years as a volunteer, said all her work for the schools had left her “a run-down, crabby, resentful wreck.” Worse, she said in an interview, “My kids got really resentful.” When she would leave them with yet another baby sitter, or drag them along for yet another Saturday Clean-up Day at school, they implored, “Why is it always you who has to do everything, Mom?”
Ms. Auerswald emphasized that her children’s school had a very real need for parents’ volunteer work. But she said she has learned that parents need to set realistic expectations about what they can accomplish and how much of themselves they can give. ...
That is what most parents assume — that school volunteer work is in the best interests of their children. But some veterans are skeptical. Jen Christensen’s epiphany came on her 41st birthday in May 2009. She was presiding over Teacher Appreciation Week at her children’s school in San Mateo, Calif., and getting up daily at 4 a.m. to work on the school auction. She was so overcommitted, she said, that she could not find time to celebrate.
What hit harder still was that she had given up working when she had children to be home with them — and now she was continually leaving them with baby sitters because she had to attend a meeting at school.
The next fall, Ms. Christensen declared herself off-limits to all school volunteer requests. “I said: ‘I’m done. I quit. Don’t call. Don’t e-mail.’ I said I have given so much of myself. I’m spending 50 hours a week working on a volunteer position. Where does it end? You want some blood? I wouldn’t even let my husband write a check.”
Ms. Christensen added: “It felt fabulous. I took a step back and was able to see what was wrong and appreciate the opportunity I have. I don’t have to work, and being able to spend time with my kids is what my job really should be.” ...
Some of the push-back stems from just plain irritation over the way volunteer requests are made, often involving large numbers of increasingly desperate-sounding e-mails. A few years ago, Karen Bantuveris was on a plane on a business trip. “I looked down and literally saw my BlackBerry fill up with reply-all e-mails about whose turn it is to help at recess and to bring snacks,” she said. “The more I talked to working moms, the more I heard: ‘I can’t volunteer anymore. This is ridiculous.’ ”
Ms. Bantuveris put her training as a management consultant to work. She invented an online system — similar to the popular Evite invitation service — that sends a calendar of volunteer opportunities and allows parents to sign up for those of their choosing without multiple e-mail exchanges. She now runs a company called VolunteerSpot that markets the system, coordinating 460,000 volunteers, 75 percent of them parents in schools. ...
Sounds very tempting. I know a few school mums who volunteer in a number of ways, at the Community Centre, sports clubs, preschool, playgroups, and at schools. There is always a need for volunteers at schools. At our school there is a core group that does lots, and many more parents who do what they can. I would go so far as to say that most parents volunteer their time in some way. The core group does discuss burn-out. We do postpone events because we are exhausted.
Do my kids like me helping out at school? Yes they do. Do they want me to attend meetings at night? No they don't. Still working on getting that balance right.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/02/garden/02parents.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&ref=general&src=me
Schools in the states seem to have more school functions and fundraisers than we have here, but the politics of volunteering is the same. A small group of people are called upon to do too much. Some quotes:
Around the country there are a number of altruistic, devoted and totally burned-out mothers just like Ms. Lentzner who are becoming emboldened to push back against the relentless requests from their children’s schools for their time. What started out as an admirable civic gesture somehow snowballed into an inability to say no to any committee assignment or project request, and spiraled into night, weekend and after-school commitments, middle-of-the-night e-mail exchanges, as well as frozen dinners, takeout pizza and baby sitters at home. ...
Other forces are at work besides the lack of free time. The growing world of mom blogging has provided ample forums for exposing the darker feelings of motherhood, and a number of women have taken to cyberspace to gripe about school volunteer work. Some complain that the system preys on maternal guilt and that it creates a sense that a mother’s worthiness is measured in how many hours she puts in at her children’s schools. Under the headline “Just Say NO to Volunteering,” Sarah Auerswald, a former PTA president in Los Angeles, wrote in June, “What I am about to say is not very PC, so get ready: Moms, stop volunteering so much.”
Ms. Auerswald, who estimated that she had sat through 1,000 meetings over the last 10 years as a volunteer, said all her work for the schools had left her “a run-down, crabby, resentful wreck.” Worse, she said in an interview, “My kids got really resentful.” When she would leave them with yet another baby sitter, or drag them along for yet another Saturday Clean-up Day at school, they implored, “Why is it always you who has to do everything, Mom?”
Ms. Auerswald emphasized that her children’s school had a very real need for parents’ volunteer work. But she said she has learned that parents need to set realistic expectations about what they can accomplish and how much of themselves they can give. ...
That is what most parents assume — that school volunteer work is in the best interests of their children. But some veterans are skeptical. Jen Christensen’s epiphany came on her 41st birthday in May 2009. She was presiding over Teacher Appreciation Week at her children’s school in San Mateo, Calif., and getting up daily at 4 a.m. to work on the school auction. She was so overcommitted, she said, that she could not find time to celebrate.
What hit harder still was that she had given up working when she had children to be home with them — and now she was continually leaving them with baby sitters because she had to attend a meeting at school.
The next fall, Ms. Christensen declared herself off-limits to all school volunteer requests. “I said: ‘I’m done. I quit. Don’t call. Don’t e-mail.’ I said I have given so much of myself. I’m spending 50 hours a week working on a volunteer position. Where does it end? You want some blood? I wouldn’t even let my husband write a check.”
Ms. Christensen added: “It felt fabulous. I took a step back and was able to see what was wrong and appreciate the opportunity I have. I don’t have to work, and being able to spend time with my kids is what my job really should be.” ...
Some of the push-back stems from just plain irritation over the way volunteer requests are made, often involving large numbers of increasingly desperate-sounding e-mails. A few years ago, Karen Bantuveris was on a plane on a business trip. “I looked down and literally saw my BlackBerry fill up with reply-all e-mails about whose turn it is to help at recess and to bring snacks,” she said. “The more I talked to working moms, the more I heard: ‘I can’t volunteer anymore. This is ridiculous.’ ”
Ms. Bantuveris put her training as a management consultant to work. She invented an online system — similar to the popular Evite invitation service — that sends a calendar of volunteer opportunities and allows parents to sign up for those of their choosing without multiple e-mail exchanges. She now runs a company called VolunteerSpot that markets the system, coordinating 460,000 volunteers, 75 percent of them parents in schools. ...
Sounds very tempting. I know a few school mums who volunteer in a number of ways, at the Community Centre, sports clubs, preschool, playgroups, and at schools. There is always a need for volunteers at schools. At our school there is a core group that does lots, and many more parents who do what they can. I would go so far as to say that most parents volunteer their time in some way. The core group does discuss burn-out. We do postpone events because we are exhausted.
Do my kids like me helping out at school? Yes they do. Do they want me to attend meetings at night? No they don't. Still working on getting that balance right.
Friday, December 03, 2010
Action against gender stereotyped toys for children - the movement is growing
A story in The Guardian today about gendering of toys. Did you know you could buy a pink globe for your daughter?? There is rising awareness and action against gender stereotyping for children. 'Feminist parenting' is taking off! Having just watched some Saturday Disney with my kids (I like 'Sonny with a Chance'), I must say, the message hasn't reached tv advertisers here yet. The ad for a lego game featured only boys playing, and the Bratz ad is a shocker.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/03/christmas-toymakers-rethinking-pink
Abi Moore, co-founder of Pink Stinks, says her organisation has been inundated with messages from parents all over the world. "Our campaign last year was covered in 43 countries. We are constantly being asked by parents, 'What can we do?'" Parents of girls and boys alike are sick of the marketing messages and, especially, the gender assumptions children are forced to lap up.
....
So are parents' views finally being heard by the marketing bods? Many,including Pink Stinks, openly or loosely align themselves with "feminist parenting". In the UK there is an online campaigning organisation called CRAP! which stands for Child Rearing Against Patriarchy. In the US there are hundreds of feminist parenting blogs such as "Raising My Boychick" ("parenting a presumably straight white male"), "Feminist Dad" (although he says "my daughter LOVES Disney") and "She Has My Eyes" ("anti-bigotry and anti-bullshit parenting").
The group Mothers for Women's Lib holds an online Carnival of Feminist Parenting. Many of its fans boast of having a "family feminist mission statement", presumably stuck on the fridge door. Must get one of those.
"I have attended a lot of events recently where I've been struck by how much people want to talk about feminist parenting and consumerism," says Natasha Walter, author of Living Dolls: The Return of Sexism. "People see that we're at a bad point and they are always asking me, "How can I resist this for my son or my daughter?""
So how can we prevent gender-specific consumerism taking over? Jan Williams, a mother of two teens, a boy and a girl, ran a workshop at October's Feminism in London Conference, attended by more than 1,000 people. "You see it from the way children are pushed at school. 'You do like football, don't you?' 'You come over here and play with the dolls.'" There is a huge reaction from parents against this at the moment, she says, especially from parents who want to learn how to cope with incessant demands from the miniature consumers they live with, especially at Christmas. "It's as simple as the old drugs message. Just. Say. No. I meet a lot of parents who can't. But you have to be able to say no in a calm and peaceful way. Support their choices in the toys they really love. Or if you can't, let them save up their own money for them."
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/03/christmas-toymakers-rethinking-pink
Abi Moore, co-founder of Pink Stinks, says her organisation has been inundated with messages from parents all over the world. "Our campaign last year was covered in 43 countries. We are constantly being asked by parents, 'What can we do?'" Parents of girls and boys alike are sick of the marketing messages and, especially, the gender assumptions children are forced to lap up.
....
So are parents' views finally being heard by the marketing bods? Many,including Pink Stinks, openly or loosely align themselves with "feminist parenting". In the UK there is an online campaigning organisation called CRAP! which stands for Child Rearing Against Patriarchy. In the US there are hundreds of feminist parenting blogs such as "Raising My Boychick" ("parenting a presumably straight white male"), "Feminist Dad" (although he says "my daughter LOVES Disney") and "She Has My Eyes" ("anti-bigotry and anti-bullshit parenting").
The group Mothers for Women's Lib holds an online Carnival of Feminist Parenting. Many of its fans boast of having a "family feminist mission statement", presumably stuck on the fridge door. Must get one of those.
"I have attended a lot of events recently where I've been struck by how much people want to talk about feminist parenting and consumerism," says Natasha Walter, author of Living Dolls: The Return of Sexism. "People see that we're at a bad point and they are always asking me, "How can I resist this for my son or my daughter?""
So how can we prevent gender-specific consumerism taking over? Jan Williams, a mother of two teens, a boy and a girl, ran a workshop at October's Feminism in London Conference, attended by more than 1,000 people. "You see it from the way children are pushed at school. 'You do like football, don't you?' 'You come over here and play with the dolls.'" There is a huge reaction from parents against this at the moment, she says, especially from parents who want to learn how to cope with incessant demands from the miniature consumers they live with, especially at Christmas. "It's as simple as the old drugs message. Just. Say. No. I meet a lot of parents who can't. But you have to be able to say no in a calm and peaceful way. Support their choices in the toys they really love. Or if you can't, let them save up their own money for them."
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