Marriage Equality

A few more days until the submissions to the Senate Inquiry close.

Click here to sign the GetUp! petition.

http://www.getup.org.au/senate-inquiry

Or click here to make a submission to the Inquiry.

http://www.australianmarriageequality.com/wp/help-make-marriage-equality-happen-send-a-submission-to-the-marriage-equality-inquiries/

Here's hoping we can achieve equal rights under the law.

The death of Adrienne Rich

Here is a link to the NYT obituary for Adrienne Rich, feminist poet and activist.

Adrienne Rich, Feminist Poet and Author, Dies at 82
www.nytimes.com

Adrienne Rich’s Of Woman Born, published in 1976, was the first book to examine motherhood as socially constructed under a patriarchy. She gave us the language with which to theorise motherhood.

And a note from Andrea O'Reilly, head of the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement, based at York University, Toronto, wrote:

A sad day indeed for feminist mother scholars around the world; we lost our Adrienne Rich. I recd the news minutes before I had to teach my Intro to WMST class..so have not even had the time to process this loss or attempt to put my love and grief into words. I can only say now--and i hope i may be more articulate later-- that it was Rich who saved so many of us --in theory and practice-- from patriarchal motherhood and made possible empowered mothering. Thank you Adrienne for being the original Mother Outlaw and enabling us to be and do the same. You are deeply loved and will be missed.

Crowdsourcing for Mamapalooza

Have a look here:

http://www.pozible.com.au/index.php/archive/index/5603/description/0/0

We're trying to raise some money for the Mamapalooza art prize. Please let everyone know.

I'll post the schedule and new poster shortly.

We're getting there!

Mothers Day in the UK

Mothers Day in the UK, and The Guardian has a few treats, especially for a fan of Helen Simpson’s writing..

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/audio/2012/mar/14/helen-simpson-short-story-podcast

as well as podcasts of other writers reading short stories for Mothers Day.

A review of Stories of Motherhood, edited by Diana Secker Tesdell.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/mar/18/stories-motherhood-bowen-toibin-munro

And a quick overview of mothers in literature.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2012/mar/15/mothers-day-mum-word-literary?INTCMP=ILCNETTXT3487

And the Guardian Bookshop is selling Women of the Revolution: Forty years of Feminism, by Kira Cochrane, a collection of Guardian articles.

Testing Times

Yesterday was the day of the Selective Schools Test. It is a day that many families prepare for for a long time, spending a lot of time and money preparing their child for the test, which determines entrance to selective schools.

She’d been feeling sick the day before, and had a day at home, resting. She wasn’t feeling well for the day of the test either, and took some panadol, which she said didn’t work.

As the children went in to do the test some of the parents admitted they were anxious and feeling a bit sick, and that they needed to go somewhere and calm down.

We didn’t do any coaching. My daughter did a few practice tests, between doing her homework, and her usual activities. She marked her own papers. We pretty much left her to it. She did practice trying to complete the paper in the set time. She didn’t do any practice for the written part. As she went into the test I said, ‘Have fun’.

The test was to take from 9am to 1.15, with four components to complete. In fact they finished at 2.20, so we didn’t bother going back to school as we had planned. We went out for iced chocolate. She told me that one of her friends was crying during a break, because she didn’t have time to finish the test, and felt she wasn’t doing as well as she had in the practices. The girls tried to comfort their friend, saying that test condition make the test harder, and calm down, she’ll be ok, not everyone can finish the test. Another of their friends had brought no food to eat in the breaks. So the girls chipped in and each gave her some of their food.

There were some boys there from a private school. For those families, accepting a place at a selective school would mean a savings of nearly $200,000. One of these boys spoke during the test, and had one of his papers disqualified. I wonder if he told his parents.

Before we went to pick up her sisters she told me that she’s glad we didn’t send her to a coaching college. She said that if she’d practised much more she would have felt more pressure, and wouldn’t have done as well. She’s aware that some of the kids in her year are sitting lots of tests at the moment. Applying for scholarships at private schools. They’re feeling the pressure.

More and more other mums are saying to me that they are told they can choose a school for their child, but really, the school chooses them. And they are tired to going to open days and shopping for schools. The application for public high schools had to be submitted today, and I sent in my daughter’s resume (she’s eleven) and copies of all her certificates. We are lucky that we like our local public school. There won’t be any shopping around for the next two children who graduate primary school. We want what we already have, our local public school, and we’re happy.

As for the test, I reckon she and her friends have already passed with flying colours.

Questions for real matchmaking.

My partner and I were matched at the Desperate and Dateless Ball.

When my sister and I met him and his flatmate, my sister said, ‘he’s for you’ and that was it.

In order to be matched we answered a few questions, but really I think we were matched because we lived near each other and are close in age.

We’ve since attended a number of weddings together and seen those couples break up.

So, here are my questions I would suggest people ask each other before they make a commitment together (our commitment was having three children together).

Do you recycle? Do you feel the need to buy the latest everything, and update the appliances as a matter of style, or do you believe we need to use the earth’s resources carefully?

Do you want to have children?

What do you believe about children? Are they born bad and need to be bent to the will of adults in order to succumb to societal rules, or are they born innocent and just trying to have their needs met even if meeting those needs may not be convenient for adults?

Do you think your own parents did a good job? Were they good role models for you?

Do you believe in a god? How do you feel about religion? How accepting are you of people belonging to religious groups?

What do you believe in? Astrology? Aliens? Ghosts? The power of crystals?

What is your attitude to money? That rich people are mean or that they’re lucky? That people are poor through their own fault? That money is to be hoarded? To be squandered? That it represents something?

Hoarding. Are you happy to get rid of things? Or do you feel the need to hold onto objects.

What level of tidy / messy are you comfortable living in? Are you happy to do household cleaning?

Attitude to food. What do you eat and not eat? Do you make everything from scratch, or eat from packets? What is food for?

What music do you like? How loud do you like it?

Sport. For watching or playing? How often? Do you follow a team? How closely?

Smoking and drinking. What, and how much? How does it affect you?

Where do you want to live? City? Country? By the sea? In a house of mud? Wood? Stone?


I think that covers just about everything. Helps me remember that my partner and I really are well matched!

What questions would you put on a matchmaking questionnaire?

Sharing favourite movies with the children

I saw my sister in law and her teenage and young adult children recently. They were talking about the movies she’s made them watch: Carrie, Halloween, Scream. My sister in law goes for familiarity with horror films as part of a well rounded education.

There are lots of movies I’m keen to share with my kids. I’m waiting for them to be a bit older. I’m hoping they’ll enjoy these movies as much as I do.

Harold and Maude. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, West Side Story, To Kill a Mockingbird, The World According to Garp.

They’ve already watched Singin’ in the Rain, National Velvet, A Place in the Sun, with various levels of enthusiasm.

I used to love theses movies, but I’m not sure that I want to watch Barbarella, Lolita or Drugstore Cowboy with my kids.

What movies do you love, that you’re keen to share with your kids, hoping that they’ll love them too? Have you shared any favourites with the children that they've loved? Or are they ho-hum?

The bedtime routine

In theory, the children share a room because they love being together. They all go to bed at the same time, about 8.30, have a little chat together after I kiss them all goodnight, and go to sleep.

In reality, they all sleep in the same room because we don’t have enough space. They go to bed at the same time because the younger ones don’t like being in the room alone. They get ready for bed at 8.30, most nights, all mucking about, dancing, doing their hair, and so on. After shouting at them a few times I find someone still hasn’t put on their pyjamas or brushed their teeth. They seem surprised that the routine they’ve been following since they were about one, hasn’t changed for the night. I finally manage to get them to bed. I give each of them a kiss and a hug, but some of these exchanges end in me struggling to get away and save myself from getting hurt. Someone jumps up because they have to do something, then someone else needs cream for a mozzie bite, and someone else needs a glass of water, and the youngest doesn’t want to be left alone, so they’re all up. Or someone realises they have news in the morning and don’t know the topic and can I call so-and-so’s mum and ask? I get them back to bed, but someone has offended or hurt someone else and someone starts crying. Whoever is crying, or gets up after five minutes saying they can’t sleep, I send to sleep in my bed. Everyone needs more hugs and kisses. Eventually they all settle by about 9.30.

The Squeaky Wheels

This week. A cry from Banjo ‘I just want to have a nice childhood’ when she insisted I play a board game with her, and from Clancy ‘I miss doing craft projects at home - I don’t have any time!’

I played the board games (two days) and told Clancy that yes, I miss reading for pleasure, because I’m busy too, but she can do craft projects on the weekend, and during the holidays, and she could do more craft if she watched less tv. (Hang on, I could read for pleasure if I didn’t watch tv. Hmm) Priorities. If we want to do the things that are important to us, longterm, (band for her, uni for me) then we might need to sacrifice some other things.

But the squeakiest wheel this week is their dad.

Again, I’ve been thinking I’m doing too much. Is the paid job worth it if I put a lot of my own unpaid time into it? Can I get ahead so it runs more smoothly? What else can I cut back on, or delegate, so I can get ahead with uni work? I bought some frozen food. Now I need to carve out blocks of time to just do uni and nothing else. Even on the weekends. After the first assignment is handed in, I’ll be feeling much better. And I’m grateful for everything that is being cancelled, for one reason or another.

I’m thinking it is all good practice for teaching, which entails loads of preparation time, and is something I’ll have to learn to manage. Learning now.

And applications for high schools. Open days and nights. We squeezed in a few visits, but didn’t go to them all. My 11 year old is writing her resume for her applications. It’s crazy. The local public school is fine, and it bothers me that it is presented as a fallback position: apply to your preferences, but if you fail you’ll get the local public school as a consolation. Not really promoting public schools. People seem to think their local public school only has students who aren’t good enough to get into somewhere better. Not a great attitude and not true. People have their own reasons to consider when choosing schools, and, as a wise principal said, you need to consider what your family values, in term of a range of issues, when you choose a school. Every parent of a Year 6 son I’ve spoken to has said they need their son to attend a co-ed school. They seem to think all boys schools are roughhouses and the smaller, smarter boys will be mowed down. I’m not so sure. I’m told the co-ed schools are pretty boy heavy, so don’t really have gender balance. And lots of attitudes to various schools based on nothing more than gossip. Does my head in.

I really want my oldest girl to attend a different school from the younger two, so they have their own space and aren’t in her shadow. I’m saving the local public school for the younger two. So she’s applying to two others. But if they are all at the local public, then that would be fine too. Really, being close by is the main consideration for me - I don’t want them spending a lot of time each day on travel. And I know that the closer the school is, the more likely I am to attend any events. (The circle I move in is more like a dot!) I’m starting to base my hopes for high schools of where they go for the overseas trip. In one school the dance group goes to New York. Seems to be as good a reason to apply to a school as any other.

Second semester will be easier. Won’t it?

The F-Word Feminist Day at the Opera House

Very happy to report that the discussion covered women in global contexts, rather than concentrating on white western women (my previous complaint about these events.)

Here’s what everyone said, in a nutshell.

Germaine Greer

Prefers Women’s Liberation Movement to the word Feminism.

Suggests we join the Country Women’s Association.

Suggests we join a green group. Was it Women of the Earth? I’ll check.

We need to move on from considering abortion as a badge of feminist honour and start talking about the rights of the foetus and the very real violence that abortion is. Move on to talking about responsibility for contraception.

Talked about the word ‘fuck’. As a word that damages. The fucker and the fuckee. That the one who fucks without permission is the one who is damaged, not the one who is fucked.

Identifying as feminist is enough for her, even if you disagree with said feminists’ politics.

Talked about personal relationships. Self confidence. Not trying to please men. Encouraged women to be difficult.

Was funny.

Naomi Wolf

She’s just written a book called Vagina.

Shes interested in how the ideas of the Enlightenment are merging with feminism for women in the Middle East and Muslim women.

She’s interested in democracy as a process, so if you identify as feminist, that’s good enough for her - she takes you at face value that you believe you are helping women - then you can have a discussion.

She’d rather we start by celebrating the successes of feminism instead of starting with its failures.

She told a 20 year old that you can be a feminist, have children a, career, friends and lover, and be happy.

She told the audience that any of you can lead an aspect of the movement - don’t wait for someone else to lead.


Eliza Griswold

A news foreign correspondent who has worked a lot in the Middle East. Her main concern is the women in Afghanistan.


Clem Bastow

Makes jam and works in her pyjamas. (Didn’t I say she would be out of her depth here?)
And she offended many when she suggested older aren’t hip to online feminism because they can’t type on a keyboard...


The event would have been better if they just stuck to the questions already submitted, instead of taking questions from the audience, because, frankly, they were rants and not clear questions, or were rehashing ground we’d just covered (female genital cutting) and wanted to move on. And Eva Cox asked a question. Doesn’t she have enough platforms to talk from? Couldn’t someone else have a go? Why do we always say that young women aren’t engaged with feminism when a quick look at the audience shows there were lots of young women in attendance. And do we really have to end every feminist meeting with ‘what now?”

Keeping the wheels on

So this is what it takes for the wheels to fall off.

One child bandaging her sore ankle. then not being able to find shoes to put on, to take her sister to ballet class in the rain, having a major spak, making her sister late, everyone crying, and finally settling down when we arrive, to find that, after all that, sister doesn’t have her ballet shoes with her.

Rain, that means the clothes aren’t washed as quickly as usual, so a child has to wear a school top she doesn’t like, and gets into a crying jag before school.

A lost pencil case.

Having sisters in composite classes in the same stage. Younger child not trusting friends who are friends with her older sister, who, when the older sister is around, treats her like the annoying younger sister.

People being so pedantic about what someone else says that they are too busy correcting each other to have a conversation. Drives me crazy.

When the wheels fall off I run a quick list of options through my mind. I could go crazy. I could be calm and quiet. I could walk away and leave them to it. What works in one scenario may not work for another.

I woke up yesterday feeling stressed about everything I’m trying to do, thinking I should drop out of uni because it is all just too much. My teeth were hurting - fed up to the back teeth. I’m well aware that middle class stress is nothing compared to the stress of trying to house your children, feed them, clothe them and keep them safe. Then I found I can do more units over summer, speeding up the study. I can be qualified by June next year. So now I’ve booked for my residential school in the Easter holidays, we’ve had a chat about everyone helping out, and I’ll keep going. Really, we just need to eat, sleep and be kind to each other. Everything else is a bonus.

But for now, I have to get the washing dry.

Questions at F-Word: A Day of Feminist Debate

http://ideas.sydneyoperahouse.com/2012/do-you-have-a-question/

Have a look here for questions submitted for the speakers at the F-Word event at the Opera House on Sunday. I'll be there for the last event of the day. Look like a very interesting event, and I'm sorry to be missing the first two sessions (celebrating my mother's 80th birthday!). I'm hoping the event will be recorded, and I can catch up later.

Good questions here.

Here's what I've been thinking about

Here’s what I’ve been thinking about.

Today: three children, three parties. Two at the same time. Two at the same place but at different times. Diva is still selling Playboy jewellery.

The children’s news. Clancy did a power point presentation on Bolivia’s Laws of Mother Nature. Matilda is going to do a presentation on where mobile phones and ipads come from (Congo,China). I’m glad to see this story now has some traction. Lots of FB posts, and GetUp has a petition. Matilda has an article published in the hardcopy version of New Moon Girls, about how animals are treated in food production. I’ll put up a link when I find it online.

The children complaining that I no longer come running every time they get hurt, or that they cry. I guess I’ve got used to the fact that they’ll probably live, and I need to push on with making dinner. Clancy has asked me to come and comfort her whenever she runs to her room in a huff, because that’s what mums on tv would do. (And, she needs the attention.)

Shopping for high schools. Lots of open days at schools. I’m thinking that shopping for high school is an exercise in family branding. “We consider ourselves... THIS type of family.” I resent the expectation that we shop for a school. We are given the impression that we choose, but really the schools do the choosing. Our local public school is fine. I don’t know what I’d do if it wasn’t fine. I’d like to think we’d join and help make it fine. Sure, Matilda will be applying for a place at a selective school. She’s the kind of student selective school are for. She’s decided against auditioning for the performing arts school. If she doesn’t get in to selective, she goes to the local public. I’m considering us to be quite French in going to the local public school.

Mamapalooza. Now it is only Vee and I organising, with Tap Gallery, and some help from Joan. If anyone else wants to come on board, you’re very welcome.

Work. I’ve had two days at my new job - storyteller/performer using puppets and props at a library. The program is for clients with disabilities. I’m thrilled to be paid to work, and the work fits into the school day. The show is for two small groups: children in primary school - they are mostly in wheelchairs - and a group of adults, who are more interactive with the story. My only reservation is me running out of ideas. I need to do more research and collect resources. Yesterday I popped into the community centre where I was on the management committee for the last few years. The manager offered me the job of running the supported playgroup one morning a week. That’s a yes. And now my friend has told me about a job at another school during school hours one day a week running the uniform shop. I’ll apply, but, as for all the little jobs, I need to let people know that I’ll be unable to work when I have teaching pracs for uni. That’s a disruption.

Uni. This time last week I was ahead. Now I’m behind.

Ethics. Wow. I made my submission to the inquiry - I pieced together things I’d already said here. Really, the whole thing is discrimination. Part of me is hoping that the inquiry is successful in repealing the legislation that permitted the teaching of ethics in the SRE timelsot. Then we can have inquiries into the curricula taught by all the scripture groups, and get on with getting SRE out of public schools. Give teaching time back to school teachers. And wouldn’t that free up a lot of volunteers for other jobs, like helping children to read!

The Gonski Report. Lets just get on with funding schools properly and fairly. In my studies last year I read a lot of about the complicated way schools are funded. My concern with the Gonski report is the part about no school will be funded less. That is a clause from earlier funding reform that exacerbated the inequality. Redistribution of resources to those with greatest need should involve some schools being funded less. End of.

Kevin and Julia. Silly me. When I heard Rudd resign I thought, ‘oh good, now he’ll just quietly go away.’ But no. A leadership challenge. Why would he want to lead a party that doesn’t want to work with him? That’s madness. Really, it’s playing out like a David Williamson play set in a bowling club. Can’t we just skip to the part of the story where Penny Wong and Malcolm Turnbull are party leaders??

Rachel Cusk. I’ve been reading her books since I became a mum. Her husband stopped work as a lawyer to look after their children so she could write. Now they’ve broken up. She’s written about it. In this piece from The Guardian she describes the pain of the separation, her surprise at realising that her husband hates her, and how her situation has challenged her idea of herself as an feminist. The subtext, for me, is again about the challenges of being an artist and a mother. The comments here are 99% negative.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/17/rachel-cusk-divorce-the-aftermath

I’m still trying to get used to the new routines for the new school year and fitting everything in. And in between everything and always needing to be done, grocery shopping, food preparation, washing up, washing clothes and putting them away. Ah, life.

Volunteer to be an ethics teacher

I am now an ethics teacher in our local primary school. I'm teaching the course during scripture time, as an option for those kids who would otherwise be in non-scripture, where, according to policy in NSW, the students are to receive no instruction during the Special Religious Education (SRE) timelot.

Hence ethics. It is way of ending the discrimination against primary school students who don't enrol in the SRE options available at school.

The ethics course doesn't teach atheism. I think you'll find all profesions have an element of teaching profesional ethics. The course is about critical thinking. About creating a community of inquiry in which to explore ideas respectfully, to challenge assumptions and try to work out together what might be right and wrong in given situations. It is an exercise in thinking. The students really enjoy it.

At the moment the course is available for students in Stage 3 (Year 5&6). At our school nearly a third of Stage 3 students are enrolled in ethics. The course for Stage 2 will be available in the middle of the year.

The course is devised and delivered by Primary Ethics. They are looking for more volunteer teachers, to help deliver the course. At our school Stage 2 and Stage 3 have SRE at the same time, so we'll be needing more teachers too.

Primary Ethics offer lots of support. They provide teachers with good training and lesson plans. They have done an amazing job of getting the program off the ground with little money. The volunteers are all committed and wonderful.

The ethics teachers I've spoken to say they find being involved is very satisfying. They learn from the students, and enjoy being involved in the school community.

It takes some time to do the training (a day at home, two days at training), and once you are teaching, it take some preparation time for each lesson, and the lessons run for about 40 minutes, depending on the school. If you can volunteer, click here.

http://www.primaryethics.com.au/volunteers.html

Sing and Swim

Either I have too many children, or we have too many activities. That was my thought for Wednesday. On picking the kids up from school, going straight to the next activity, and prepared to go back to school after that for Meet the Teacher Night, dinner in the slow cooker, I asked the children if we could withdraw from the band program. That one program means five appointments a week for one child, and four for another. (Two of those are the same appointment for them, but the whole thing adds up to seven a week for me.) And practice. And money. My life would be so much simpler if they just weren’t in band. But no.They love band. And they love dancing. We’ll get used to the new routine, they said, as I had said to them that morning. It’s just hard to get the new routines started up, but we’ll be OK. I said that to them before I was at home alone feeling like my mind had snapped.

Of course, I don’t want to give up any of my activities - my new job one day a fortnight, teaching ethics at school, uni study, and helping with Mamapalooza - and neither do the children. But I’m not convinced.

So far, with all activities not yet factored in to the term, I have two days where I’m supposed to be in two places at the same time. Morning lessons, before school, aren’t as early as last year, but leave less time for packing lunches and getting back to school. On different days this week I’ve been to school four, five and six times. Going to school twice a day is a slow day.

After talking to the children I decided to not stress. That didn’t mean I stopped stressing.

Thursday I went to withdraw money to pay rent. I went to the shops, got to the ATM and didn’t have the card. Went home. Got another card. Went to other shops, returned kids’ dance pants, bought drumsticks (not the chicken variety), went to ATM and ATM swallowed old card. Got home. Found my card in my wallet. Put the garbage out, even though it wasn’t garbage night, and had an early night. I’m thinking every night needs to be an early night.

I’m holding tension in my jaw, so I starting singing while making dinner - I’ve been making good dinners every night. Singing just split my lip and gave me a headache.

Friday I went for a swim.

I don’t have room in my head for what’s happening in Greece, what’s happening to Dexter, or planning more playdates for Banjo, or organising a sleepover for her - Clancy thinks it is unfair if Banjo has more sleepovers than she had at her age. We have three girls in one bedroom and our sleepovers usually are just swaps with another family with a similar set-up. Banjo wants to join the recorder group and choir at school. That might fit OK. But no to Japanese and tennis lessons. Clancy’s friend has Tourette’s and has added physical tics to her verbal ones. Matilda needs pointe shoes. Whole new worlds for me.

So, if we’re not cutting back on activities, here’s the plan. Other people can bake on the weekend and prepare for the week. Other people can occupy themselves while I get some work done. So long as the washing is on the line (particularly the absorber we need to wash most mornings and have back on the bed each night) I’ll be regularly singing and swimming to repair my mind and keep body and soul together. I don't know if I'll join the singing group - that might be one appointment too many. I can sing, walk, stretch, swim, on my own if I need to. It’s either sing and swim or sink and swim.

A step in the right direction

Fair Wage Australia announced yesterday a wage increase for workers in the community sector, a predominantly female workforce; a step towards equal pay for women and society valuing care work.

It means pay rises of 19 - 41% to be phased in over eight years. Many community workers work in government sectors, however, the implication for community workers employed by smaller community centres (such as the one I've been involved in) is yet to be seen.

Eliabeth Badinter - Is intensive mothering a step backwards for feminism?

I’ve written about this before, but the book has just been released in English in Australia. .
You might have seen this article in the Good Weekend.

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/life-style/nutrition-and-wellbeing/the-child-king-20120130-1qoqf.html


In 2005 Judith Warner published a book called Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety. In it she compared mothering in France with mothering in the USA. Warner spent her first three years of motherhood in France, where there is a free public health service, extended maternity leave, affordable nannies, affordable pre-schools, everybody sends their kids to the local public school, and the working week is capped at 35 hours. Mothers lived a balanced life and there was no mention of guilt. Returning to the USA she found mothers depressed, stressed, obsessed with trivia, unable to afford the quality childcare that could release them back into the workforce, trying to be perfect, looking and feeling old and tired, and blaming themselves for their inadequacies. In the USA mothers are constantly questioned by media messages and children are the centre of the family’s lives. In France, children eat in the kitchen and play in their rooms, while adults talk together in the loungeroom. In the USA children have delegated playrooms and the adults schedule adult time around them. Of course, in the USA, individual responsibility is championed, rather than changing to socially progressive polices.

Now, French philosopher feminist Elisabeth Badinter states in her book (released in Europe two years ago) The Conflict: the Woman and the Mother that motherhood as it is in France now is bad for feminism. She blames the environmental movement (cooking organic baby food and washing cloth nappies is time consuming), the focus on children rather than women, attachment parenting, the dietary advice to pregnant women, the advice to breastfeed for two years, and all the expert advice on raising children as if they are vulnerable creatures who can blame any psychological issues on their mothers. She says French women have caught the guilt bug.

She has a point.

Badinter says it is important for women to be financially independent. She’s not alone there.

She champions the mediocre mother, because the perfect mother doesn’t exist. Too right.

But, if things have changed for mothers in France, without a change in social policies, I think we can look to some other factors. Is the global financial downturn a factor in families’ decision making? Did women find that returning to work part time or after a break of a year or more meant they were on the ‘mommy track’, and they were taken less seriously in their careers? What about the fact that jobs with flexibility to allow for care work are the lower paying jobs? Is the increase in marketing of products and services to babies and young children a factor? Do mothers find satisfaction tending their children more intensively than past generations? Do mothers approach their child rearing more as a family branding exercise, or are mothers applying the skills they’ve learnt in business, academia and the workplace? Lets also look to other countries with comparable social policies. Are their mothers feeling guilty too? And why aren’t we looking at men’s roles in families and work? Are they downshifting and baby wearing? Are men concerned about their work/life balance and feeling guilty?

I disagree with her view about the green movement. We need to move towards sustainability in all areas of our lives, and to not consider this is naive at best. What’s the point of having children if the planet they inherit is unable to sustain human life? And what about community involvement and having a say in broader issues? As Erica Jong says, ‘Aspiring to be perfect parents seems like a pathetic attempt to control what we can while ignoring problems that seem beyond our reach.’

What Elisabeth Badinter is saying is similar to what I said in my article of April 2004, so it’s nothing new to me. Does intensive mothering take a lot from women, when the outcomes are unproven and, perhaps not truly related to the input? Would mothers’ energy be better spent doing something else? Something that wields more power, personally, collectively and politically? Is intensive mothering a step backwards for feminism? Did our feminist mothers work for women's rights so we could mother more intensively?

Or is Badinter just jumping on the mother bashing bandwagon?

What do you think?

I’d better read the book (which I feel like I’ve already read), then report back.

Feminist action now - Jan 2012

Two feminist stories from the Guardian.

Remember how, in the UK, after the News of the World scandal, there was going to be a media inquiry? Well, it’s happening. It’s called the Levenson Inquiry, and a group a feminist activists have just presented to them the ways in which women are unfairly depicted in the media, and what can be done to address gender inequality in the media. They talked about page 3 girls, women shown naked or near naked (one piece of evidence was censored to present to the inquiry, even though it was not censored when published in the newspaper), and how media reporting perpetuates myths about rape, and blames victims.

‘Four groups – Eaves, End Violence Against Women, Object and Equality Now – called on Leveson to back a ban on sexualised images in newspapers, arguing they would not be broadcast on television before the 9pm watershed.
The groups also accused some media outlets of perpetuating myths about rape, which they argued could prevent victims reporting the crime, and called for a tougher regulatory body. "The media creates, reflects and enforces attitudes in society," said Marai Larasi from End Violence Against Women, a coalition of 40 women's organisations. "Those who work in the media should be conscious of this and should actively seek not to reproduce attitudes which condone violence against women or girls."’


http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/jan/24/leveson-inquiry-sexualised-images-ban



The World Economic Forum meets annually in Davis, Switzerland. So, how many women are involved in these meetings where global decisions are made? Not enough.

‘Despite a new quota system demanding that the largest members send one woman for every four men, just 17% of the 2,500 delegates are female. Despite a push to encourage more women on to panels to discuss the issues of the day, just 20% of those invited to do so are women. The majority of panels, especially on key economic topics, are still dominated by (white) men.
Although the days are long gone when one female delegate was asked to leave an event because security assumed she must be a spouse without the required permit, the majority of the women in Davos are not there as participants. Only newcomers to Davos seem to consider this fact remarkable, with the odd feminist exception such as Helen Clark. The former prime minister of New Zealand turned administrator of the United Nations Development Programme called the female participation rate "pathetic". The leader who appointed so many senior women to her cabinet that Benetton ran an airport advertising campaign welcoming visitors to the "women's republic of New Zealand" called for organisers to commit to the millennium development goal of 30% female participation by 2015. "Or why not next year? They should just go and look for the women. In one stroke, participation would go up."
There is little support for such intervention among organisers, who argue that Davos merely reflects a world in which women lead just 3% of the biggest companies in the US and UK and make up 17% of its parliaments. Saadia Zahidi, the WEF's head of constituents who is spearheading the gender programme, calls this the "external glass ceiling" about which an annual meeting of top people can do nothing.
Roger Carr, the chairman of Centrica who is leading efforts to get more women appointed to British boards, agrees. "Davos is a special place populated by the most senior decision makers. The fact is that the number of women in that position is quite small. Davos is just the symptom of something that happened way, way back." Centrica sends just two delegates and both the chief executive and chairman happen to be men.’


http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2012/jan/27/davos-women-future

The Equality Illusion: The Truth about Women and Men Today - Kat Banyard

After the controversy of the last two weeks, I’ve stepped up my reading of this book. Kat Banyard wrote it at the age of 25; it was published in 2010. She became a feminist at university, and has worked in grassroots organisations, helping refugee women, organising feminist conferences, and is a leading campaigner for women’s rights in the UK.

Here’s what she says about choice feminism.

‘ … it is crucial to that we don’t fall into the conceptual trap of confusing a process (choice) with feminism’s aim (ending the subordination of women). This produces a dead-end situation whereby almost anything can be justified as feminist simply by identifying that individual choice’ and ‘agency’ were involved. … But the question must always be: what impact does the practice have on gender relations as a whole? Does it help end the subordination of women - or does it further perpetuate it? That is the litmus test.’ (p 206)

She presents statistics to prove how unequal women are in the modern world, and not just white middle class women, but takes a global view, considering class, race, religion and everything. She reports on the grassroots feminist activity currently happening in the UK, by both young women and by men. A lot of the feminist action taken by young women is about the sexualisation of women as presented in mainstream media, and an objection to women being seen as sex objects in men’s clubs, lad’s mags, and advertisements. In short, young women in the UK are doing the same kind of work that Melinda Tankard Reist is doing through her Collective Shout organisation in Australia, resisting the movement to normalise pornography in our culture.

I’m interested to see she supports policies Sweden implemented in 1999 to criminalise the purchase of sex, and minimalise demands for a sex industry. Sweden also offers support for women to exit the industry. After the 1994 election, 45% of parliamentarians were women, so feminist issues were on the agenda. The new laws resulted in a decrease in trafficking and organised crime, and, the entry of women into prostitution almost stopped.

Banyard sees countries following suit (Iceland, Norway, France, and campaigns in the UK to do the same) as on the right track.

Today, it is Rwanda that has the highest proportion of women parliamentarians in the world, at 58% of seats. UNICEF reports that women holding 30% of parliamentary seats constitutes a critical mass that allow real action on issues of gender. Of the twenty two countries that have reached this level of female representation, eighteen used quotas.

She covers gender inequality and education in the west (the acceptance of sexual harassment in schools, and segregation in sport) and in developing countries (in South Africa a girl has a greater chance of being raped than of learning to read). She covers reproductive rights and the mother penalty, including the sticky floor of women’s work that allows them flexibility to care for children (cleaning, caring, clerical work, cashiering, catering). She covers body image, domestic violence, and interviews workers in the sex industry. (‘It’s hard to have a voice when you have a cock thrust down your throat.’) She says men like lap-dancing clubs because there are places where they can pretend feminism never happened.

I recommend the book to anyone who want to know what feminism is about today, as a first introduction or a way to engage with the big picture issues. It is book filled with hope. It is one of the better books on feminism that I’ve read.