Last night I puked up my meds. Not uncommon, apparently, but not good. I rang the hospital and they said to just try again tonight, but if the meds don't stay down, I need to come in.
Today I'll be asking my pharmacist for anti-nausea drugs that I can get without a prescription. I'll try eating something bland for dinner and take the meds in portions throughout the meal. If all goes well, I'm off to the theatre with my friend. If not, I'm off to hospital.
So, while I'm worrying, I'm going to list reasons to be grateful.
I live 15 minutes away from the hospital and specialist care. It takes 15 mins to get there. More to park.
I get my medical care under Medicare. I'm glad I live in Australia.
I'm not the breadwinner. I don't have to take time off work and plunge my family into poverty because I'm sick. I have a partner who is looking after us.
All my other commitments are things I can take a break from. I can drop my prac, take a break from study and volunteering and my little jobs, and focus on getting well. I am a bit sad about leaving my storytelling job at the library; storytelling using puppets and props, for clients with disabilities. I'd worked on finding stories and how to tell them theatrically, and I'd just about gathered enough that I could retell, so the job was about to get much easier. It was challenging, and I was getting paid to write and perform. Now it is something on my resume.
Most of all I'm grateful that I have such kind people around me. Everyone who I have told has offered to help. My friend is organising a food roster. People are bringing me comedy DVDs to keep my spirits up, and books to read. People are driving me to my appointments. People have offered to clean my house, pick up my kids, rub my feet, pick up groceries. I really am overwhelmed by how kind people are.
So, I'll be focusing on that today, and trying to stay out of hospital.