Wednesday, November 14, 2012

New games

Apparently we’re playing a new game: how low can I go? My wcc today was 1.3. That’s low. I have to give myself an injection on Saturday. I’ll be switching to another medication, but the process takes time. I’ve booked a Bone Marrow Biopsy for next week, and I’ve started talking to the Transplant Co-ordinator. I can’t start the process (have my blood typed by the Red Cross, who are involved in the donor matching process) until my bloods come up, so I’m a bit in limbo. Playing the waiting game.

I’m thinking today that I’d quite like to withdraw from my unit of uni. I haven’t made much of a start, and probably have quite enough to be going on with. If I have the transplant the whole process takes a year (four months of chemo, two months in hospital, six months at home, basically in isolation) so it doesn’t much seem to matter if I take a break from study now or later - it will be a substantial break and I won't be ready to do a prac anytime soon.

Also, I’m thinking about my hair. I’ve been keeping it short, and it has recently gone ‘boof’, as thick curly hair does. I could keep it short so I fit in better with the other Haematology patients, and there isn't so much to lose when I have treatment, or I could grow it while I can as a last hurrah for a while. What do you think?


sister outlaws said...

You are remarkable. I don't know you, but your work ethic for both study and mothering comes through so strongly. But I worry you make things to hard for yourself - especially now. While I know it's good to be positive and hope to do your unit of study, you also have to reserve your energy for your health. Why not indulge in some reading and resting? Give yourself some breathing space? And yep - I would go for the short hair cut. It might be refreshing and easy to manage!

Liz said...

I'm with Sister Outlaws - NOTHING wrong in reveling in some good books and movies for a while and coming back to study when this is behind you (if that's what you feel like doing). As for the hair - a toughie! I cut mine in preparation for losing it - it was long before and it was suggested it would be easier for me to go through the process of losing it if I'd taken a 'step down' approach, so to speak! In the end, I don't know if this made any difference. As soon as it actually started falling out (on Daffodil Day, would you believe?!?) I got a buzz cut...and when this started looking too patchy I shaved the rest off. Don't think cutting it short to start off with made a psychological difference one way or another. Whatever you feel like is good! Will you definitely lose your hair? I have a fantastic bandana collection that I can send you, if you'd like...