And today might be that day. Week one of uni and week two of term.
The kids have too many activities, in school and, well, in school. Opportunities, they’re usually called, but for me today, they’re called headaches. I’ve just realised I should change my uni enrolment because the units I’ve enrolled in for this term assume knowledge I haven’t covered yet. I need to be doing the less challenging subjects this semester, because I already feel my stress levels have risen to boiling point just reading about the unit activities and assessments. Household chores - never ending. Gym. I'm supposed to keep moving to stop my body from hurting. Volunteering. I do my share (and I swear, if the school calls for volunteers for one more function, I may as well just homeschool and be done with it). Sick child. Consulting with the village to make sure everyone gets to where they need to be. Thinking about how I’m going to earn some money but no time to actually follow through. Something’s gotta give.
And where are those missing library books and the missing birth certificate??
Take a breath and back to basics. Whatever I can’t deal with right now, I’ll think about it later.
In the words of Katie Scarlett O'Hara, tomorrow is another day.
motherhood activism Australia, maternal feminism
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Sydney has a problem
Sydney has a self-image problem.
Sydney thinks it is sunny all the time, so Sydney freaks out when it rains for a week. The gutters overflow, the roads flood, the trains don't run on time. Sydney can't cope. Sydney is in denial. No central heating for rooms in Sydney. Open plan living areas, (impossible to heat) in Sydney houses. Nowhere to put umbrellas or coats. Because Sydney is always warm and sunny.
Sydney thinks it is sunny all the time, so Sydney freaks out when it rains for a week. The gutters overflow, the roads flood, the trains don't run on time. Sydney can't cope. Sydney is in denial. No central heating for rooms in Sydney. Open plan living areas, (impossible to heat) in Sydney houses. Nowhere to put umbrellas or coats. Because Sydney is always warm and sunny.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Winter Staycation
Our winter holiday has come to an end. This time my plan was to have a good rest. We’ve mostly stayed home, resting. Perhaps a little too much. Our meals have become haphazard and slap dash. We remind each other to change out of our pyjamas if someone is coming over to visit. We remind each other to wash. Some days, that has taken all day.
Last term we had a few bouts of illness. The kids were each sick twice, in turn. I started last term with a bad back and ended with an infection that took three courses of antibiotics to get rid of (if it has in fact been cleared). Banjo has been doing bladder training. We’ve just been looking after our bodies. Haircuts and teeth. Back to basics.
Because it has been a break from school and uni I have been aware that this has been my chance to attend to a few jobs. We’ve been decluttering and cleaning. We’ve been making crafts to sell at the school fete. And I’ve read some books (that aren’t textbooks!).
I’ve been nodding my head in agreement at the two books I’ve read: Night Waking by Sarah Moss and How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran.
Night Waking is about a family who is staying on a fictional island on the west coast of Scotland. The mother is an academic who is supposed to finishing her book on childhood in Victorian Britain, but whose partner is studying puffins on the island, leaving her manage the children, a night waking toddler and a son who worries more about global problems than is healthy (and probably has Asperger’s). There is much whinging about motherhood, much about the history of raising children, issues of class and the environment, and someincidental tips on academic writing. I enjoyed reading this, but I wonder how women stay married after writing such a scathing account of parenting with a constantly criticised male partner.
How to be a Woman is part memoir, part rant on the current state of feminism by UK columnist (I didn’t know who she was until I read the book) Caitlin Moran, whose photograph on the cover is part muppet, part Munster (and she wouldn’t mind me saying that.) I can identify with her childhood (large family), and most of the cultural references. Her take on feminism has three main points. You can call out sexism as rudeness. If the men aren’t doing it, why are women? And we can deal with feminine expectations by shrugging them off or laughing. Say no to wearing high heels, to Brazilians and cosmetic surgery, to g strings and trashy gossip mags. Say yes to women being funny. She talks about a few issues that are rarely addressed:masturbation, the joy of having a hairy muff, and abortion when already a mother (now there’s a topic no-one mentioned in the reviews - scares people off!).
We’ve had two little events to punctuate the holiday (because it is so sad when the children have to write about their weekend, and the highlight is going to the laundromat). Banjo celebrated her 7th birthday with a Pippi Longstocking afternoon tea, and we saw the musical Mary Poppins. The first big show for Clancy and Banjo. I’d say half the audience at the matinee we attended were children. Very lucky, affluent children.
So now, back to the madness of middle class mothering. My routine includes two school drop-offs most mornings, going to the gym, and studying. It’s going to a busy term - the children have lots of performances to prepare, there is a lot going on at school this term. And also this week, back to the doctor (my hip has been hurting for months, and lets see how that infection is faring) and, at the first opportunity, seeing Harry Potter. Can’t wait to see how the story is finished, and what is left out - because there just isn’t enough time to finish telling that story. And as much as the children would love to see the movie, we're holding fast to the ratings on this, and agreed they can watch the PG version when it appears on tv instead. All in good time.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Being authentic
Two ideas I've come across lately are stretching my brain.
On the blog Zero Waste Home, Bea said she doesn't keep loads of books and artwork in the house because she realised she was keeping these things to show people what kind of person she is. (She also says she stores her books at the library, which is a neat way of looking at it.) Bea was an exhibiting artist when she decided to go zero waste. She said being zero waste has fuelled her creatively. She no longer has a workshop of art supplies calling on her to make something, and causing her to feel guilty when she doesn't. She can be creative where ever and how ever she wants. But she's got me thinking.
Do I keep lots of books in the house because I want people to think of me as an intellectual person? Do I keep artwork (most of it I have made myself) because I want to prove to people that I'm creative? Do I have lots of recorded music in the house because I want people to think I'm cultured?
The other idea is from something Richard Fidler said on his interview program on 702. He has an hour long interview with someone each weekday. He has interviewed a lot of people.
He said that people who have gone through a hardship (serious illness, serious car accidents, being left for dead at the side of the road and surviving) seem to then scrape away the artifice of modern life to live a more authentic life.
I wanted to ask him what he means. What does it mean to live an authentic life? Does it mean not using hair colour? Does it mean not bothering to make your bed? Does it mean being the person you see yourself as, even if that means applying artifice to do that? How do you know you are living an authentic life? Do you need to live with few possessions to live an authentic life? Do you need to be constantly confronting yourself to find out who you are? (Bear Grylls?) Does being authentic mean you say the awful things you may think even if it may hurt someone else, or can you be authentic and try to be kind? Is an authentic life one of service to others?
What if my authentic self has blonde hair? Is slimmer and has bigger breasts? Lives with lots of books and artwork and music? What if my authentic self is constantly on the phone or FB? Or really loves shoes? What if I really care that people think of me as intelligent, creative and cultured?
Will my daughter who is very attached to her long blonde hair - it is part of her identity - not become her authentic self until we cut off her hair and she confronts who she really is?
Does being authentic change as you grow up? Are we most authentic as children? Is that something we should hold on to? Am I more authentic when I'm tired? Or stressed because I have an assignment due? Or most authentic when I am well and happy?
Or is living an authentic life just one of those wishy washy things that sound good to say but we don't really think it through and know what it means?
Right, I'm off to get my nose pierced as a reminder to myself to live a more authentic life.
On the blog Zero Waste Home, Bea said she doesn't keep loads of books and artwork in the house because she realised she was keeping these things to show people what kind of person she is. (She also says she stores her books at the library, which is a neat way of looking at it.) Bea was an exhibiting artist when she decided to go zero waste. She said being zero waste has fuelled her creatively. She no longer has a workshop of art supplies calling on her to make something, and causing her to feel guilty when she doesn't. She can be creative where ever and how ever she wants. But she's got me thinking.
Do I keep lots of books in the house because I want people to think of me as an intellectual person? Do I keep artwork (most of it I have made myself) because I want to prove to people that I'm creative? Do I have lots of recorded music in the house because I want people to think I'm cultured?
The other idea is from something Richard Fidler said on his interview program on 702. He has an hour long interview with someone each weekday. He has interviewed a lot of people.
He said that people who have gone through a hardship (serious illness, serious car accidents, being left for dead at the side of the road and surviving) seem to then scrape away the artifice of modern life to live a more authentic life.
I wanted to ask him what he means. What does it mean to live an authentic life? Does it mean not using hair colour? Does it mean not bothering to make your bed? Does it mean being the person you see yourself as, even if that means applying artifice to do that? How do you know you are living an authentic life? Do you need to live with few possessions to live an authentic life? Do you need to be constantly confronting yourself to find out who you are? (Bear Grylls?) Does being authentic mean you say the awful things you may think even if it may hurt someone else, or can you be authentic and try to be kind? Is an authentic life one of service to others?
What if my authentic self has blonde hair? Is slimmer and has bigger breasts? Lives with lots of books and artwork and music? What if my authentic self is constantly on the phone or FB? Or really loves shoes? What if I really care that people think of me as intelligent, creative and cultured?
Will my daughter who is very attached to her long blonde hair - it is part of her identity - not become her authentic self until we cut off her hair and she confronts who she really is?
Does being authentic change as you grow up? Are we most authentic as children? Is that something we should hold on to? Am I more authentic when I'm tired? Or stressed because I have an assignment due? Or most authentic when I am well and happy?
Or is living an authentic life just one of those wishy washy things that sound good to say but we don't really think it through and know what it means?
Right, I'm off to get my nose pierced as a reminder to myself to live a more authentic life.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
The Carbon Tax
While the newspapers are emphasisng what the carbon tax might mean to household food bills (and why they don't look at other items people purchase, eg, electrical gadgets, toys, clothes, I don't know, and how they can predict prices in 12 months time in our changing time, 'hello bananas' I don't know) and the compensation package (when we became a nation of people with our hands out for compensation for every bump in the road, I don't know - but I can't see my generation toughing things out like people did during WWII) I thought I'd share the wins of the Carbon Tax announcement.
Now to pass it through Parliament...
- A price on pollution which big polluters will have to pay: $23 per tonne of carbon
- $10 Billion investment in renewable energy
- 80% cut in Australia’s emissions by 2050
- Assistance to vulnerable Australians totalling over $4 billion per annum
- Starting to close the most polluting coal fired power stations and stop new ones from opening
- $1B for the protection of Australia’s biodiversity, wildlife and woodlands.
Now to pass it through Parliament...
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Ann Oakely and Barbara Wooton
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jul/07/barbara-wootton-was-too-visionary
Sharing this article on Ann Oakley (longtime feminist writer - I read her memoir Taking it Like a Woman in my first year of motherhood - now professor of sociology and social policy) has written a book on Barbara Wootton called A Critical Woman. Wootton was a woman of amazing achievements, but she isn't well remembered.
An article worth reading.
Sharing this article on Ann Oakley (longtime feminist writer - I read her memoir Taking it Like a Woman in my first year of motherhood - now professor of sociology and social policy) has written a book on Barbara Wootton called A Critical Woman. Wootton was a woman of amazing achievements, but she isn't well remembered.
An article worth reading.
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Around the world - updating issues
Time for a world round-up, care of The Guardian Weekly. (24 June - 14 July )
There is a new political party in Iceland that is shaking things up by holding some power yet not playing the political game. Jon Gnarr, a comedian, leads a party of ex-punks, poets and pop stars who formed The Best Party, and he has been voted in as Mayor of Reykjavik.The anarcho-surrealist party is shaking up a corrupt system, reeling from financial meltdown.
Women in Saudi Arabia are protesting against a ban on women driving in public by driving in public. Five women have been arrested.
Women in Afghanistan are the most at risk women in the world. The most dangerous countries in which to be born female are, in order, Afghanistan, the DRC, Pakistan, India and Somalia, according to a global survey.
A story on the sex selection crisis in developing countries. In India there are 112 boys born to every 100 girls. In China there are 121 boys to every 100 girls. The Chinese city of Lianyungang records 163 boys per 100 girls in 2007. The pattern spills into Azerbaijan, Georgia, Armenia and Albania. A book, Unnatural Selection, by Mara Hvistendahl, explores the trend, and looks to the consequences. "Historically, societies in which men substantially outnumber women are not nice places to live", she writes. It creates new markets in trading women.
The number of people forcibly displaced (in their own country or out of their own country) has reached a 15 year high, according to the UNHCR. Their report estimates 43.7 million refugees and people displaced by events such as war and natural disasters at the end of last year. More than half are children.
Julia Kristeva writes a piece on the history, and current state, of women's rights in China.
A review of the book Millions Like Us: Women's Lives in War and Peace 1939-1945, by Virginia Nicholson. The books uses memoirs of women during wartime. Eg, ' For a housewife who's been a cabbage for 15 years, you feel you've got out of a cage." Very interesting.
Diabetes is now a global epidemic. More than 350 million people in the world now have diabetes. It is one of the biggest causes of mortality worldwide, and set to become the single biggest burden on the world healthcare system.
Gay marriage has been legalised in new York.
Women in the US have been charged over losing their unborn babies. Bei Bei Shuai, 34, was charged with murdering her unborn child when, after her partner abandoned her, she took rat poison in order to kill herself. She was revived, but her child died. Rennie Gibbs became pregnant at age 15, but lost the baby at 36 weeks. Prosecutors in Mississippi found she had a cocaine habit, and charged her with 'depraved-heart murder'. She faces life in prison. In Alabama at least 40 cases have been brought under the 'chemical endangerment' law which has been applied in a way which was not intended when the law was introduced in 2006.
The richest people in the world have not only recouped their losses from the GFC, but are richer than ever.
A story on the huge female hip-hop scene in Detroit.
A review of the book A Quiet Revolution: The Veil's Resurgence from the Middle East to America, by Leila Ahmed.
A review of the book To Die For: Is Fashion Wearing out the World? by Lucy Siegle
Christine Lagarde, the French Finance minister, is the new head of the International Monetary Fund, and the first women to run a global financial fund.
A story on water - essential for life and running out. The 16 most water stressed states are in the Middle East and North Africa. Population growth, greater use of water, especially in agriculture, acquifers drying up.
Collaborative consumption is a solution to living unsustainably, presented by Australian, Rachel Botsman, in her book What's Mine is Yours: How Collaborative Consumption is Changing the Way We Live. The idea is to share what we have - cars, space, skills - using the internet or social networking, and based on trust. Botsman argues that soon our reputation rating, based on online feedback to services and online comments to assess our trustworthiness, will be as important as our credit rating. It does, however, need critical mass in order to work.
The Guardian has a page each issue on International Development, looking these weeks at Brazilian mothers working in trades,and microfinance in Cambodia.
The Guardian has been the go-to for journalists reporting on The News Of the World phone hacking scandal, and the subsequent folding of the publication. Cheers, Guardian. Well done.
I'm looking forward to their reporting of the Carbon Tax.
There is a new political party in Iceland that is shaking things up by holding some power yet not playing the political game. Jon Gnarr, a comedian, leads a party of ex-punks, poets and pop stars who formed The Best Party, and he has been voted in as Mayor of Reykjavik.The anarcho-surrealist party is shaking up a corrupt system, reeling from financial meltdown.
Women in Saudi Arabia are protesting against a ban on women driving in public by driving in public. Five women have been arrested.
Women in Afghanistan are the most at risk women in the world. The most dangerous countries in which to be born female are, in order, Afghanistan, the DRC, Pakistan, India and Somalia, according to a global survey.
A story on the sex selection crisis in developing countries. In India there are 112 boys born to every 100 girls. In China there are 121 boys to every 100 girls. The Chinese city of Lianyungang records 163 boys per 100 girls in 2007. The pattern spills into Azerbaijan, Georgia, Armenia and Albania. A book, Unnatural Selection, by Mara Hvistendahl, explores the trend, and looks to the consequences. "Historically, societies in which men substantially outnumber women are not nice places to live", she writes. It creates new markets in trading women.
The number of people forcibly displaced (in their own country or out of their own country) has reached a 15 year high, according to the UNHCR. Their report estimates 43.7 million refugees and people displaced by events such as war and natural disasters at the end of last year. More than half are children.
Julia Kristeva writes a piece on the history, and current state, of women's rights in China.
A review of the book Millions Like Us: Women's Lives in War and Peace 1939-1945, by Virginia Nicholson. The books uses memoirs of women during wartime. Eg, ' For a housewife who's been a cabbage for 15 years, you feel you've got out of a cage." Very interesting.
Diabetes is now a global epidemic. More than 350 million people in the world now have diabetes. It is one of the biggest causes of mortality worldwide, and set to become the single biggest burden on the world healthcare system.
Gay marriage has been legalised in new York.
Women in the US have been charged over losing their unborn babies. Bei Bei Shuai, 34, was charged with murdering her unborn child when, after her partner abandoned her, she took rat poison in order to kill herself. She was revived, but her child died. Rennie Gibbs became pregnant at age 15, but lost the baby at 36 weeks. Prosecutors in Mississippi found she had a cocaine habit, and charged her with 'depraved-heart murder'. She faces life in prison. In Alabama at least 40 cases have been brought under the 'chemical endangerment' law which has been applied in a way which was not intended when the law was introduced in 2006.
The richest people in the world have not only recouped their losses from the GFC, but are richer than ever.
A story on the huge female hip-hop scene in Detroit.
A review of the book A Quiet Revolution: The Veil's Resurgence from the Middle East to America, by Leila Ahmed.
A review of the book To Die For: Is Fashion Wearing out the World? by Lucy Siegle
Christine Lagarde, the French Finance minister, is the new head of the International Monetary Fund, and the first women to run a global financial fund.
A story on water - essential for life and running out. The 16 most water stressed states are in the Middle East and North Africa. Population growth, greater use of water, especially in agriculture, acquifers drying up.
Collaborative consumption is a solution to living unsustainably, presented by Australian, Rachel Botsman, in her book What's Mine is Yours: How Collaborative Consumption is Changing the Way We Live. The idea is to share what we have - cars, space, skills - using the internet or social networking, and based on trust. Botsman argues that soon our reputation rating, based on online feedback to services and online comments to assess our trustworthiness, will be as important as our credit rating. It does, however, need critical mass in order to work.
The Guardian has a page each issue on International Development, looking these weeks at Brazilian mothers working in trades,and microfinance in Cambodia.
The Guardian has been the go-to for journalists reporting on The News Of the World phone hacking scandal, and the subsequent folding of the publication. Cheers, Guardian. Well done.
I'm looking forward to their reporting of the Carbon Tax.
The Toy Sales
Mums on the mum forums tend to get rather excited by the toy sales. K Mart,Target and Big W all have toy sales at this time of year. Mothers line up to get their children the toys they want, and put those toys on lay by for Christmas. Then line up to retrieve the toys on Christmas Eve.
The toys sales and our family have little to do with each other. My kids are kind of past the toy phase of early childhood. They don't need any more toys. For gifts I've been giving them gifts of experience or activities, like going to a show or having lessons. I'll buy them books and cds (we know where to store them in our home.) I feel like we have already had most types of toys (most we got second hand) and I've already given those toys away to friends with younger children or to the op shops. I should add we don't have electronic games, ipods or Wii - we just aren't on that page.
I did, however, pick up a catalogue from one of the shops and the children looked through it. What I noticed (aside from how gendered the presentation of toys are) is that the toys are now cheaper than they were five to ten years ago. How is that possible? What cost is not being factored into the equation? When we know that the earth's resources are limited (most of the materials are made from oil based products), and the conditions for factory workers in China (and yes, all these toys are made in China), what does that mean? Does it mean we don't care so long as we can buy our kids toys cheaply?
We can apply to same questions to clothes. Clothes are cheaper to buy now than they were five to ten years ago. How is that possible? Will that change with the introduction of a carbon tax? I hope so.
An article on how inaction on climate change will affect our children here.
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/politics/climate-inaction-risks-childrens-wellbeing-20110705-1h0mj.html
The toys sales and our family have little to do with each other. My kids are kind of past the toy phase of early childhood. They don't need any more toys. For gifts I've been giving them gifts of experience or activities, like going to a show or having lessons. I'll buy them books and cds (we know where to store them in our home.) I feel like we have already had most types of toys (most we got second hand) and I've already given those toys away to friends with younger children or to the op shops. I should add we don't have electronic games, ipods or Wii - we just aren't on that page.
I did, however, pick up a catalogue from one of the shops and the children looked through it. What I noticed (aside from how gendered the presentation of toys are) is that the toys are now cheaper than they were five to ten years ago. How is that possible? What cost is not being factored into the equation? When we know that the earth's resources are limited (most of the materials are made from oil based products), and the conditions for factory workers in China (and yes, all these toys are made in China), what does that mean? Does it mean we don't care so long as we can buy our kids toys cheaply?
We can apply to same questions to clothes. Clothes are cheaper to buy now than they were five to ten years ago. How is that possible? Will that change with the introduction of a carbon tax? I hope so.
An article on how inaction on climate change will affect our children here.
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/politics/climate-inaction-risks-childrens-wellbeing-20110705-1h0mj.html
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
More music for kids to dance to
Sharing some great dance ideas I’ve seen - because it’s all very well to say kids shouldn’t be dancing to this or that because the lyrical content is too adult, and that just dancing to Disney songs - the songs from the animated movies and the songs from current tween stars - is lazy, but then what? I love a good concept dance. I want children to know that music and dance (and art and literature) can be about anything. Any concept or idea or situation. I am the apeman. I am the walrus.
Anzac dance to I was Only 19, Oxygene
Japanese dance in kimonos
Flight attendant dance to Come Fly with Me
circus dance
spooky dance to Horror Movie, Ghostbuster, The Addams Family
garden dance to U2’s It‘s a Beautiful Day
Wizard of Oz Dance to Ease on Down the Road
Transformer
School bullying dance to Caught in the Crowd - Kati Miller -Heidke
Istanbul/Constantipole - They Might be Giants
Aboriginal dance to Treaty
Theme to Six Feet under
Me and My Shadow
Theme from Friends
My six year old loves dancing to her Cyndi Lauper cd.
I like watching So You Think You Can Dance and seeing the creativity of the choreographers. Surely dancer teachers can find some inspiration there.
It so happens that I know someone who works for The Arts Unit for our state Department of Education. I asked her about music for kids to dance to. What are the structures in place to assist schools make these decisions? She said that some schools run the lyrics by the school principal. Mostly it is common sense. However, if a school dance group is to perform at a state dance performance, they need to submit the lyrics of the song for approval. If they don't change the song, they can dance to an instrumental version.
Patti Smith and living the creative life.
I’ve just finished reading Just Kids, by Patti Smith, about her friendship with Robert Mapplethorpe. I saw Patti Smith in concert, supporting Bob Dylan.
She was part of the New York scene in the70s, where the most famous artists, poets, rock n rollers and theatre practitioners hung out together. Patti lived with Robert at the Chelsea hotel, went out with Sam Shepherd (they wrote Cowboy Mouth together), and Allen Lanier (of Blue Oyster Cult), knew Janis Joplin, William Burroughs and members of Andy Warhol's Factory. She hung out at Max’s and CBGBs. She supported herself by working in bookshops, writing album reviews and finding second hand treasures to sell. (The most surprising thing was that people seemed to be in the habit of visiting each other with a fish to fry. Literally.) She married Fred Sonic Smith (of MC5), had two children with him, and continued working. She doesn’t mention who looks after the children while she is working. The memoir ends with Robert’s death.
What struck me, as a feminist mother (because I’m on the lookout for these things) is the fact that she had a child as a teenager who she gave away. Like Joni Mitchell, she knew she couldn’t raise a child (unsupported by a partner) and live a creative life. On giving away her child and moving to New York, where she was homeless in the beginning (and met Robert) Patti vowed (as had Robert) to dedicate her life to art. Joni has always fascinated me. When bedridden with polio she vowed to dedicate her life to art (Joni paints as well as makes music) and she did. Yet when she was reunited with her daughter she said that creating art/music was just something she did to spend the time until she found her daughter. Well, it didn’t look that way to me, Joni. Interestingly, Patti never mentions that child after giving him away.
Joni is also quoted as saying about her music career that it is doing what you love in an industry you hate, which is kind of a good analogy for motherhood itself sometimes.
Yesterday I read this interview in The Guardian with actress Kim Catrell.
This peripatetic childhood contributed to making her feel like "a constant outsider", but that also came from her "knowing that I wasn't really normal. I didn't want to get married and I didn't want kids – I knew I wanted to act." And does acting preclude marriage and children? "Oh yeah," she says with a dry laugh.
Motherhood and the creative life. Compatible? Possible?
Sunday, June 26, 2011
How to Choose a Dance School
I've done so much research and spent so much time and thought on dance schools, (and one of my daughters spends five hours a week in dance classes) I feel qualified to give some advice here.
We were kicked out of our dance school when I made a complaint about a performance where a boy come onstage for the dance to Barbie Girl. For the lyrics 'kiss me here' he kissed his fingers. For the lyrics 'kiss me there' he put his fingers to his groin and thrusted. I've since scouted lots of dance schools until we found the rare one which is right for us - respects kids, ie, the girls keep their leotards on and the costume goes over the top, the music and moves are suitable for children - no burlesque! - and we are an in ongoing conversation (even this school has slipped up on occasion). I have my three girls there, and recommend it to everyone in our district. They aren't strict about uniforms for the little ones. You can pay as you go - no paying by the term. The parents are invited to watch the last class of the term. The concert is local. The costumes are not expensive, and are made a mum at the school. The fees are very reasonable (I get discounts after the first child). The teachers and director know all the families involved.
If you are looking for a dance school I can recommend asking at the local dancewear shop - they'll know everything about all the local dance schools. Then compare them to what is probably the best dance school in the state, McDonald College. Their teachers have a much broader experience from which to draw ideas and they work internationally (most dance schools stick to Disney and music videos), and they offer classes in musical theatre. My daughter did their Summer School program and it was an aha moment for me to see their end of week concert. The range of music and styles was impressive. When the music didn't play for a classical ballet, the teacher just sang it into the microphone and the children danced. It was beautiful.
Most dance schools will offer a first lesson free. Maybe go to a few dance school concerts. Scout around and see. It matters.
I believe the dance schools should comply with Department of Education policies. So if it would be OK in school, it should be allowed for dance schools. If it wouldn't be appropriate for Schools Spectacular, then it shouldn't be in dances schools. The dance schools have their own association for teachers. I contacted them when we were kicked out of our dance school. They told me that all their schools were age appropriate and doing the right thing. So not true.
I think the dance teacher should be able to explain what the song is about. So, the Glee version of Salt N Peppa's Push It? No. A cleaned up version of an Eminem song? No.
When you find a dance school you don't want to join, tell them why. We visited one where the music was so loud we couldn't make our enquiries. I shouted 'Is the music always this loud?" and the teacher said, like it was fantastic, 'Yes, it is.' I said "we can't be here' and we left.
If you are looking for a dance school, it is a very strange world you are entering. People will judge you by what school you belong to, just like they do other schools. It pays to do your research, (you don't want to join a school to find the concert is an hour away, you have a dress rehearsal that morning, and you have a baby to also care for) and to speak up.
We were kicked out of our dance school when I made a complaint about a performance where a boy come onstage for the dance to Barbie Girl. For the lyrics 'kiss me here' he kissed his fingers. For the lyrics 'kiss me there' he put his fingers to his groin and thrusted. I've since scouted lots of dance schools until we found the rare one which is right for us - respects kids, ie, the girls keep their leotards on and the costume goes over the top, the music and moves are suitable for children - no burlesque! - and we are an in ongoing conversation (even this school has slipped up on occasion). I have my three girls there, and recommend it to everyone in our district. They aren't strict about uniforms for the little ones. You can pay as you go - no paying by the term. The parents are invited to watch the last class of the term. The concert is local. The costumes are not expensive, and are made a mum at the school. The fees are very reasonable (I get discounts after the first child). The teachers and director know all the families involved.
Most dance schools will offer a first lesson free. Maybe go to a few dance school concerts. Scout around and see. It matters.
I believe the dance schools should comply with Department of Education policies. So if it would be OK in school, it should be allowed for dance schools. If it wouldn't be appropriate for Schools Spectacular, then it shouldn't be in dances schools. The dance schools have their own association for teachers. I contacted them when we were kicked out of our dance school. They told me that all their schools were age appropriate and doing the right thing. So not true.
I think the dance teacher should be able to explain what the song is about. So, the Glee version of Salt N Peppa's Push It? No. A cleaned up version of an Eminem song? No.
When you find a dance school you don't want to join, tell them why. We visited one where the music was so loud we couldn't make our enquiries. I shouted 'Is the music always this loud?" and the teacher said, like it was fantastic, 'Yes, it is.' I said "we can't be here' and we left.
If you are looking for a dance school, it is a very strange world you are entering. People will judge you by what school you belong to, just like they do other schools. It pays to do your research, (you don't want to join a school to find the concert is an hour away, you have a dress rehearsal that morning, and you have a baby to also care for) and to speak up.
A little sweetener
My friend who blogs at Through the Wardrobe sent me a sweet virtual gift, even though, she says, my blog wouldn't be described as sweet. So, I thought I would do a sweet post.
So here is my sweet post, about my kids. With a pic. Then I'll accept my gift.
This is what happens when I sit down at the kitchen table.
This makes me smile or laugh.
Stopping at the traffic lights in our suburb and Banjo saying, 'It's like New York City.'
(It so isn't.)
In Banjo's class a child was miming something and the children had to guess what he was. Banjo suggested he was a hormone.
(With thanks to Clarice Bean.)
Clancy making up songs and singing them like they are proper songs when she is busy doing things, then not remembering that she's sung a song she just made up.
Matilda and Cyberguy calling through the house 'Where is the Hobbit?' because they are both reading the same book at the same time.
So here is my sweet post, about my kids. With a pic. Then I'll accept my gift.
This is what happens when I sit down at the kitchen table.
This makes me smile or laugh.
Stopping at the traffic lights in our suburb and Banjo saying, 'It's like New York City.'
(It so isn't.)
In Banjo's class a child was miming something and the children had to guess what he was. Banjo suggested he was a hormone.
(With thanks to Clarice Bean.)
Clancy making up songs and singing them like they are proper songs when she is busy doing things, then not remembering that she's sung a song she just made up.
Matilda and Cyberguy calling through the house 'Where is the Hobbit?' because they are both reading the same book at the same time.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Motherhood conference UWS
The University of Western Sydney is hosting a one day conference on motherhood on July 22 at their Parramatta campus. It is hosted by the Family and Community Health Research Group and Child Health: Researching Universal Services, and called Mothering: Challenges, Change & Hope.
Keynote Speakers are: Dr Debra Loxton (Uni Newcastle), Dr Sue Goodwin (Uni Sydney), Dr Kate Huppatx (UWS) and Dr Roslyn Weaver (UWS)
Thankyou, I'll be registering to go. See you there.
Keynote Speakers are: Dr Debra Loxton (Uni Newcastle), Dr Sue Goodwin (Uni Sydney), Dr Kate Huppatx (UWS) and Dr Roslyn Weaver (UWS)
Thankyou, I'll be registering to go. See you there.
Adult friends - staying in the loop
How to see friends?
I've realised I live out my social life on the school playground. I get to see the school mums I like at school, but we rarely catch up beyond the school walls, kids' parties and playdate drop-offs. My other friends? If their kids aren't doing the same weekly activities as mine, then I just don't see them. The older I get, the faster the time goes, and I'm quite horrified when I realise it has been a year since I've seen some friends.
I've been trying to organise outings with my friends - adult outings, like in the night-time - like we did before we had kids - going to gigs and plays - and it is proving very difficult. People, ie, mothers, are either busy (ie, running around after their kids), too tired, or don't have any money to spend on themselves. What to do? (Other than just go on my own.)
So, my solution, which I'm trying to implement, is to do kid activities together. Not just a one off activity, but an ongoing activity. If that's how I see my friends, then I'll plan it that way. The other option, when my gym membership runs out, is to join the soccer team. Or a choir, or swimming group, and the walking group, and go to activities together that are part of the weekly routine. Everyone who can't be part of that kind of thing will be invited over more regularly. I can't let so much time pass by without seeing my friends.
School holidays and uni break - I have some dates to make.
I've realised I live out my social life on the school playground. I get to see the school mums I like at school, but we rarely catch up beyond the school walls, kids' parties and playdate drop-offs. My other friends? If their kids aren't doing the same weekly activities as mine, then I just don't see them. The older I get, the faster the time goes, and I'm quite horrified when I realise it has been a year since I've seen some friends.
I've been trying to organise outings with my friends - adult outings, like in the night-time - like we did before we had kids - going to gigs and plays - and it is proving very difficult. People, ie, mothers, are either busy (ie, running around after their kids), too tired, or don't have any money to spend on themselves. What to do? (Other than just go on my own.)
So, my solution, which I'm trying to implement, is to do kid activities together. Not just a one off activity, but an ongoing activity. If that's how I see my friends, then I'll plan it that way. The other option, when my gym membership runs out, is to join the soccer team. Or a choir, or swimming group, and the walking group, and go to activities together that are part of the weekly routine. Everyone who can't be part of that kind of thing will be invited over more regularly. I can't let so much time pass by without seeing my friends.
School holidays and uni break - I have some dates to make.
Feminism in the 21st Century - in books
Feminism in the 21t Century by Zoe Williams
This contains a review of Caitlin Moran's book, How to be a Woman, Sylvia Walby's The Future of Feminism, and Granta's latest edition The F Word, which includes Rachel Cusks' memoir of her divorce. RachelCusk wrote a memoir of motherhood entitled A Life's Work: On Becoming a Mother, as well as the novel, Arlington Park, about a day in the life a group of mothers. Seems her husband, a lawyer, who stopped working to look after the children while she wrote, has divorced her. She questions her feminism.
A nice update
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jun/24/feminism-21st-century-zoe-williams
This contains a review of Caitlin Moran's book, How to be a Woman, Sylvia Walby's The Future of Feminism, and Granta's latest edition The F Word, which includes Rachel Cusks' memoir of her divorce. RachelCusk wrote a memoir of motherhood entitled A Life's Work: On Becoming a Mother, as well as the novel, Arlington Park, about a day in the life a group of mothers. Seems her husband, a lawyer, who stopped working to look after the children while she wrote, has divorced her. She questions her feminism.
A nice update
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jun/24/feminism-21st-century-zoe-williams
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Rock n Roll Feminism
This should get the juices flowing.
I was energised by reading this interview with Caitlin Moran in the Guardian. She has written a book called How to be a Woman. Here is part of the interview.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/2011/jun/19/caitlin-moran-feminism-interview
Last week I saw a play written by a woman, Sara Ruhl, directed by a woman, Pamela Rabe, designed by a woman, and produced by a company with a female artistic director, Cate Blanchett (who was there when I saw it) about being a woman: The Next Room or The Vibrator Play. Here's the blurb from STC. Consider my faith in theatre restored.
For the wife of the eminent scientist and inventor Dr Givings, the vagaries of the medical field have never held much allure. Until now.
Now, as the age of electricity dawns, her husband’s profession has finally piqued her interest. But Dr Givings fails to understand his wife’s sudden fascination with his practice. The remedial treatment that he administers to females suffering from hysterical disorders is an important medical invention and nothing more. The Chattanooga Vibrator is absolutely nothing for his apparently healthy, happy wife to get her bloomers in a twist about!
Unable to breastfeed her baby and desperately lonely, Mrs Givings craves attention and affection. When she seeks companionship in two of the Doctor’s patients, this curious young woman begins to discover the truth of what goes on behind the closed door…
And orgasms.
Clicking on a link from Blue Milk's blog, I found this.
http://wangclub.tumblr.com/post/5998773722
I wish I'd done that. In fact, I might just go around writing that on sexist advertisements.
WANG is Women Against non-Essential Grooming. The Beauty Myth for an online age.
And I can't say RnR feminism without mentioning Joy Rose, who started and runs Mamapalooza in New York. Mamapalooza Rocks! Let me count the ways. Joy Rose is in a band called Housewives on Prozac, who sing such songs as I Broke My Arm Christmas Shopping at the Mall, and Eat your Damn Spaghetti. Mamapalooza connects women, mothers, and families through music, art, activism and education for cultural, economic and social awareness.
http://mamapalooza.com/
They put out compilation cds of mother singer/songwriters, and have a dvd called Momz Hot Rocks, a documentary following six mum rock bands.
Go, Rock and Roll maternal feminism!
I was energised by reading this interview with Caitlin Moran in the Guardian. She has written a book called How to be a Woman. Here is part of the interview.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/2011/jun/19/caitlin-moran-feminism-interview
Do you think feminism was hijacked by intellectuals and became slightly po-faced?
Not hijacked – they just became the only ones who were interested in it. I don't come from an anti-intellectual viewpoint: people from Oxbridge turn me on. But I have none of those chops at all. I have no qualifications, I know none of those words, and I haven't read those books. I come from pop culture, and I wanted it to be like rock'n'roll. I wanted someone to shout "I'm a feminist! It's really fun! Let's all go and be feminists in the pub!"
Germaine Greer has read and reviewed the book. It must have been a bit of culture shock for her.
I was quite amused because she was horrified by the fact that I'd documented the first time that I'd had a wank. I have shocked Germaine Greer! No one's made nearly half enough fun of the ridiculousness of being a woman though, so the idea of having your first wank as a girl thinking about Chevy Chase in the Three Amigos or Fletch, I find really, really funny.
Rather humanely, you suggest that the patriarchy must be knackered by now, and we'd be doing it a favour to give it a rest. For you, humour seems to be the best way forward…
It's the most human way. But also if women just turned around and were honest and said I don't give a shit, I'm not playing – I don't care what Angelina Jolie was wearing this week, I haven't got time to pamper myself, I don't care if I've got blackheads, I don't care if my arse is a bit spongy, I have not got time for you, you ridiculous capitalist construct, then the whole game would be fucked overnight.
The Guardian also offer a panel review of the book. Sounds fun, and a refreshing approach to feminism.Last week I saw a play written by a woman, Sara Ruhl, directed by a woman, Pamela Rabe, designed by a woman, and produced by a company with a female artistic director, Cate Blanchett (who was there when I saw it) about being a woman: The Next Room or The Vibrator Play. Here's the blurb from STC. Consider my faith in theatre restored.
For the wife of the eminent scientist and inventor Dr Givings, the vagaries of the medical field have never held much allure. Until now.
Now, as the age of electricity dawns, her husband’s profession has finally piqued her interest. But Dr Givings fails to understand his wife’s sudden fascination with his practice. The remedial treatment that he administers to females suffering from hysterical disorders is an important medical invention and nothing more. The Chattanooga Vibrator is absolutely nothing for his apparently healthy, happy wife to get her bloomers in a twist about!
Unable to breastfeed her baby and desperately lonely, Mrs Givings craves attention and affection. When she seeks companionship in two of the Doctor’s patients, this curious young woman begins to discover the truth of what goes on behind the closed door…
Nominated for both the Tony Awards and the Pulitzer Prize, In The Next Room, or the vibrator play was a resounding hit when it opened on Broadway in 2009 and consolidated playwright Sarah Ruhl’s reputation as one of America’s most exciting contemporary writers. A sensitive study of the relationship between physical connection – be it sexual, platonic or maternal – and emotional intimacy, In The Next Room, or the vibrator play is an utterly beguiling play about love, longing, science and invention.
And orgasms.
Clicking on a link from Blue Milk's blog, I found this.
http://wangclub.tumblr.com/post/5998773722
I wish I'd done that. In fact, I might just go around writing that on sexist advertisements.
WANG is Women Against non-Essential Grooming. The Beauty Myth for an online age.
And I can't say RnR feminism without mentioning Joy Rose, who started and runs Mamapalooza in New York. Mamapalooza Rocks! Let me count the ways. Joy Rose is in a band called Housewives on Prozac, who sing such songs as I Broke My Arm Christmas Shopping at the Mall, and Eat your Damn Spaghetti. Mamapalooza connects women, mothers, and families through music, art, activism and education for cultural, economic and social awareness.
http://mamapalooza.com/
They put out compilation cds of mother singer/songwriters, and have a dvd called Momz Hot Rocks, a documentary following six mum rock bands.
Go, Rock and Roll maternal feminism!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Feminist edition of Granta magazine
The latest edition of Granta 115 - The F Word, has all female contributors. You can read some of the pieces online here. (A poem by Sharon Olds included.)
http://www.granta.com/Magazine/115
The Guardian has a podcast of interviews with Tea Obreht, who won The Orange Prize with her novel TheTiger's Wife, and the other finalists, as well as the editor of Granta. About literature and feminism. It goes for about 30 minutes.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/audio/2011/jun/10/tea-obreht-ann-patchett-feminism-podcast
Also, this piece about VS Naipaul having a go at female writers. Cheer as you read the comments. Avoid if you have had enough of men being dicks.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jun/02/vs-naipaul-jane-austen-women-writers
http://www.granta.com/Magazine/115
The Guardian has a podcast of interviews with Tea Obreht, who won The Orange Prize with her novel TheTiger's Wife, and the other finalists, as well as the editor of Granta. About literature and feminism. It goes for about 30 minutes.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/audio/2011/jun/10/tea-obreht-ann-patchett-feminism-podcast
Also, this piece about VS Naipaul having a go at female writers. Cheer as you read the comments. Avoid if you have had enough of men being dicks.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jun/02/vs-naipaul-jane-austen-women-writers
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Action in the UK to protect children
News this week on the result of a UK commissioned report on the commodification of childhood. The investigation was prompted by action from Mumsnet, The Mothers Union, and other campaigns such as Pink Stinks. It seems David Cameron has read Sue Palmer's Toxic Childhood. The story of the Bailey Report is here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/jun/03/cameron-backed-report-commercialisation-childhood
These are the recommendations:
Key measures
For a feminist reaction see here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jun/06/f-word-girls-sexualisation-feminist
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jun/04/bailey-report-sexual-commercialisation-children
I wonder when this issue will be taken seriously in Australia?This action in the UK should provide some traction.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/polit
ics/2011/jun/03/cameron-backed-report-commercialisation-childhoodThese are the recommendations:
Key measures
• Retailers to ensure magazines with sexualised images have modesty sleeves.
• The Advertising Standards Authority to discourage placement of billboards near schools and nurseries.
• Music videos to be sold with age ratings.
• Procedures to make it easier for parents to block adult and age restricted material on internet.
• Code of practice to be issued on child retailing.
• Define a child as 16 in all types of advertising regulation.
• Advertising Standards Authority to do more to gauge parent's views on advertising.
• Create a single website for parents to complain to regulators.
• Change rules on nine o'clock television watershed to give priority to views of parents.
• Government to regulate after 18 months if progress insufficient.
For a feminist reaction see here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jun/06/f-word-girls-sexualisation-feminist
Without a feminist perspective you have no hope of an honest discussion about the sexualisation of young girls. They are being groomed – not by pervy old men hanging over computer keyboards, but by today's ideology-free, value-free consumer culture, which tells them they're sexually hot or they're nothing.
Somewhere along the line, the old feminist hope that women, like men, would be valued for their skills, brains, hard work, entrepreneurial chutzpah, experience and humour – well, it just got dropped. Feminists hoped if girls were given options that went beyond wife and motherhood, they would find a wider range of ways of living opening out before them. Of course, many have done. The gains are real. But today the main option opening out seems to be to look hot and thin – which is all very well in its place, but hardly a career. With "gentlemen's clubs" (hah) fashionable again, and the word "feminism" barely mentioned in polite society without the qualifier "sour-faced", the clock has been turned back with a vengeance.
Feminists can make cause with traditionalists in wanting to limit some of the more extreme effects of an exploitative culture. In the absence of religious or ideological checks, the default mechanism of western consumerism seems worryingly and depressingly narrow. But let's be clear. We can only help Annie and her friends if we have a good alternative to offer: the role models, the interesting jobs and the alternative ways of enjoying life that make a padded bra and a bit of rude dancing on the telly not shocking – just rather dull.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jun/04/bailey-report-sexual-commercialisation-children
I wonder when this issue will be taken seriously in Australia?This action in the UK should provide some traction.
Monday, June 06, 2011
Do we trust scientists or not?
'Seven experts responsible for evaluating the threat of natural disasters in Italy have been charged with manslaughter for failing to give sufficient warning about the L'Aquila earthquake in 2009.'
Meanwhile, front page of this week's Guardian Weekly, 'World Climate now 'on the brink: Emissions hit record high despite recession. Dangerous warming now can't be avoided'.
There is now no way temperatures will not rise less than 2 degrees Celsius, which was the goal to avoid dangerous climate change. There is now 'around a 50% chance of a rise of global average temperature of more than 4 degrees C by 2100. Such warming would disrupt the lives and livelihoods of hundreds of millions of people across the planet, leading to widespread mass migration and conflict. That is a risk any sane person would seek to drastically reduce.' So says Professor Nicholas Stern of the London School of Economics who wrote the influential 2006 report into the economics of climate change.
We don't have the sense to save ourselves. Who will we blame?
Meanwhile, front page of this week's Guardian Weekly, 'World Climate now 'on the brink: Emissions hit record high despite recession. Dangerous warming now can't be avoided'.
There is now no way temperatures will not rise less than 2 degrees Celsius, which was the goal to avoid dangerous climate change. There is now 'around a 50% chance of a rise of global average temperature of more than 4 degrees C by 2100. Such warming would disrupt the lives and livelihoods of hundreds of millions of people across the planet, leading to widespread mass migration and conflict. That is a risk any sane person would seek to drastically reduce.' So says Professor Nicholas Stern of the London School of Economics who wrote the influential 2006 report into the economics of climate change.
We don't have the sense to save ourselves. Who will we blame?
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Sickness gives you a rest
This is what I read in a Reader's Digest while waiting at the Dentist's. Having a cold can be good because it means you have to slow down. Clear the calender. It doesn't matter if you don't do all those things you'd planned.
Yeah, right.
The bugs have been getting their germy money's worth at Motherhugger Manor.
Let's see. Clancy had a temp and puked. Banjo had a temp and puked in my lap. Matilda had a cold. All had time off school. I had a cold for week - on my own - but no time to lie on the lounge. Clancy has had a temp for the last five days, which has turned into a cough. She went to school this arvo to participate in a band competition, and is now back on the lounge. Banjo now also has a temp and a cough.
I have a creative assignment due (every time I go online to read comments by my classmates I get more stressed about how lame mine is compared to theirs - I don't even know when I can get out of the house to post it), and an online test to do, and an exam in two weeks. I'm freaking out.
Still have had to run around after the well kids. Matilda has had debating and public speaking things to attend. I still had to pay the rent and buy bread.
Thanks to the mums who have driven my kids home.
So, two things. Well three. I don't know how many things - my brain is full.
No, Reader's Digest. You're wrong.
Oh, new rules. The sicker kid has the remote control.
Never give Banjo a bell.
And now the news that you aren't supposed to leave kids under the age of twelve alone at home or let them out and about, like walking to and from school. What are you supposed to do??
Yeah, right.
The bugs have been getting their germy money's worth at Motherhugger Manor.
Let's see. Clancy had a temp and puked. Banjo had a temp and puked in my lap. Matilda had a cold. All had time off school. I had a cold for week - on my own - but no time to lie on the lounge. Clancy has had a temp for the last five days, which has turned into a cough. She went to school this arvo to participate in a band competition, and is now back on the lounge. Banjo now also has a temp and a cough.
I have a creative assignment due (every time I go online to read comments by my classmates I get more stressed about how lame mine is compared to theirs - I don't even know when I can get out of the house to post it), and an online test to do, and an exam in two weeks. I'm freaking out.
Still have had to run around after the well kids. Matilda has had debating and public speaking things to attend. I still had to pay the rent and buy bread.
Thanks to the mums who have driven my kids home.
So, two things. Well three. I don't know how many things - my brain is full.
No, Reader's Digest. You're wrong.
Oh, new rules. The sicker kid has the remote control.
Never give Banjo a bell.
And now the news that you aren't supposed to leave kids under the age of twelve alone at home or let them out and about, like walking to and from school. What are you supposed to do??
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