Louis Theroux: A Place for Paedophiles

In my teacher training we have a textbook about student behaviour in which we are told some aspects of child sexual abuse. How to recognise it and what supports are available and so on. It also lists statistics which shocked me. The incidence is higher than I expected. My textbook says that adult abusers molest about 150 times before being detected. That about 20% of men and 7% of women report having some sexual interest in children. 7% of males and 3% of women would act on this interest if they believe they wouldn’t get caught. Most abusers are known to their victims. Between 20 and 50% of offences are committed by adolescents, half of which is sibling incest. Most abusers were not abused themselves. Basically, we are being told that we will be teaching children who are being, or have been, sexually abused.

I watched Louis Theroux’s documentary last night. It is about the inmates of a Californian psychiatric hospital for convicted paedophiles and rapists. The men are kept there after they have served their prison sentence. Only 30% are involved in the rehabilitation program. The rest are appealing through legal channels, or just being kept there until they die.

A graduate of the rehabilitation program had authorities looking for a place for him to live in the community. So far, 1100 prospective landlords or communities had rejected him. This man had been castrated, at his own request. Only 13 inmates had graduated out of the hospital and into the community.

It was hard to watch. The men seemed very normal. For some, decades had passed since their crimes. For others, there were many more victims of their crimes than the legal system was aware of. One man said he had about 50 victims. Some acknowledged the damage they had done.

As well as group therapy and working with social workers, the men in the program are subjected to lie detector tests and a test where their physical reaction to various types of visual stimulus is recorded. An implement is attached to the penis to measure this reaction. The stimulus can be adult sexual material, or material that suggests children are sexual. They can’t use child pornography, so, the clinicians said, they use pictures of children in bathing suits playing with water or eating fruit. Playing with water or eating fruit. I admit I didn’t see the actual photos, and didn’t see how suggestively children were playing with water or eating fruit. But really. Water and fruit? Whether a response would be recorded by showing child beauty pageants or children in skimpy costumes bumping and grinding at the local dance school concert or children in French Vogue, I don't know.

The whole discussion leads me to lots of questions.

Images of children in advertising, and in our culture generally. The pornification of our culture. We can’t pretend it is harmless. What are the messages that people are receiving that encourage sexual abuse, and that don’t encourage respect for women, girls and boys as whole people who have a right to be safe? I think we already know the answer to that one.

Empowering kids. We need to train kids to stand up for themselves. To speak out and be confident. Which leads to the issue of connection. It is more likely that kids who lack a strong social network are the kids targeted by opportunistic abusers and paedophiles. Isolated kids are at risk kids.

The question of justice. I understand that these men are not welcome in the community. But are their rights being violated? After serving their prison sentences, should they be returned to the community? Perpetrators of other crimes - murderers, embezzlers, armed robbers - are returned to the community. These men are being held on the basis that they might re-offend. Other types of criminals are not treated the same way. Or is holding these men indefinitely sending a clear message to potential offenders that their crime will cost them their futures?

This is a shocking question, but I have to ask it. In Ancient Greece, men had sex with adolescent boys. It was considered normal. And we know that children are trafficked into the sex trade all over the world. Are there any cultures in which child sexual abuse hasn’t happened? If not, then we have to ask if adult sexual interest in children is part of a range of normality, as abhorrent as that idea may be. Is child sexual abuse something we can prevent with education and laws and respect and kindness? Or will there always be people who have the urge and take their opportunities, and the best we can do is try to keep children, not just our children, but all children, out of their way? If there are or have been cultures in which adult sexual interest in children didn't exist, keeping in mind that in some cultures childhood ended earlier than our current age of consent, what was it about those cultures that may have contributed to the sexual safety of children, and what can we learn from them?

Facebook Rape Pages - Petition

You may have heard about rape culture pages on Facebook.These are pages where people make jokes about rape, and generally, promote rape culture. The story is here:

http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/facebook-refuses-to-shut-rape-page-run-by-schoolboy-20111017-1lsde.html

If you want to protest, a petition can be found here:

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/petition-facebook-to-remove-material-that-promotes-rape.html

A big week in politics

Two of the major issues in Australian politics are now settled. We have a carbon tax. Asylum seekers will be processed onshore. Done and dusted.

So, what are we going to talk about now?

Q&A can't run programs only talking about gay marriage.

What are the issues you hope will come to the fore of public discussion now that the issues of the carbon tax and accepting asylum seekers are put to rest?

(I'll have a think too. I'm up to my elbows in assignments, but have been pretending I'm not - proofed a friend's thesis, applied to teach ethics in schools, working on a cookbook for school, wrote out a document of resources to support the White Ribbon Day program at school, compiled from info on my blog, more volunteering than you can shake a stick at - but now, back to the assignments...)

Resource for choosing music for kids - Common Sense Media

I've updated one of my most popular posts, Music for Kids to Dance to, because I've found this great resource that helps you choose not only music, but films, games and books. The site provides brief reviews of books, cds, songs, and electronic media. You can search by age or genre. The film reviews also suggests issues that you might want to discuss with your child. You can find out which Glee cds have the more adult content, and which are OK for tweens. You can find apps that are made for toddlers. And you can browse through lists of old films that you'd forgotten about, but would love to share with your children.

I especially like the Hidden Gems.

Enjoy. (And avoid the oops of buying the Bruno Mars cd for 7 year old.)

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/

Also, the Australian site that reviews films so you Know Before You Go

http://www.youngmedia.org.au/mediachildren/07_04_choose_films.htm

MIRCI seeks support

Every who knows me in RL knows I'm always banging on about MIRCI (Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement, previously known as ARM - Association for Research on Mothering) which was started and is run by the fabulous Andrea O'Reilly. Andrea circulated an email this week to let people know what is happening with the organisation, and that she needs some help. If you have been thinking about buying some journals or other publications from Demeter Press, now would be a good time to do it. (Before our dollar drops any lower.) Here is the email.

I am emailing concerning MIRCI; some great news and some difficult challenges.

As you no doubt are aware, we have moved to publishing 6-8 Demeter titles a year so we can qualify for some significant funding through the Canadian Government (Cdn Council and Heritage Canada). As a result we had to publish 4 titles this fall to qualify for the grants (Cdn Council nov 1 deadline and Heritage Canada april 1 2012)

The good news is that these are not like sshcc grants: once you meet the eligibility requirements and do the hard work of submitting the application (full financial information, sales reports etc) you receive the grant and it is renewed annually as long as you continue to meet the requirements. We are talking serious money: (10,000-25,000 per year for Cdn Council and 20,000 plus for Heritage Canada). Once we receive these grants, Demeter Press' future will be secure, particularly as we now have a distributor that will also bring in increased sales.

The good news is that we have just learned yesterday that our assessment for Cdn Council grant has been approved and we will be submitting the grant in November (this was a huge hurdle to get over).

The challenging news is that we need to have these four titles published this fall for this grant (and to apply for the even bigger Heritage Canada grant in April). The cost of publishing these 4 titles is more than $30,000 and this must be paid over the next 3 months.Some of this money will be raised through book sales but we still have to raise a lot of money fast to cover these printing costs so we are eligible for these grants: if we don't we can not apply. So we are truly behind a rock and hard place.

I am spending the next few days emailing the loyal supporters of MIRCI/Demeter press in the hope that they can do one or more of the following to raise the needed money so we can publish these titles and secure this grant funding: renew your 2012 membership NOW (form will be on site by end of the week) ideally as a sustaining member, purchase Demeter titles for yourself, a friend or colleagues or make a donation to MIRCI or Demeter Press. Again, the money needs to be raised as soon as possible so we can keep moving these Fall titles into production.

If most of our loyal members did just one of the above we would have the needed money to get these books printed and thus secure these grants to make possible a secure future for Demeter Press..so we can keep doing the important and necessary work of publishing high quality motherhood scholarship.

I do hope that you can.

Thanks

Andrea

Here is the link

http://www.motherhoodinitiative.org/

October is Buy Nothing New Month

As you know, we shop second hand here at Motherhugger Manor. We recently bought a second hand toaster and microwave. I'd rather not buy new if we can avoid it.

If you want to be part of the movement to avoid buying new, by way of helping the earth and your own budget, have a look at the Buy Nothing New site.

http://buynothingnew.com.au/http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

The idea is to get people thinking. Do you really need it? Where does it come from? Where does it go? Can you borrow or swap or buy second hand instead?

There seems to be more of a vintage/op-shop culture in Victoria. They have Savers Recycle Superstores that we don't have in NSW. Brotherhood Books are selling books online with free postage. In Victoria they have stylists visit Brotherhood of St Laurence Hunter Gather stores. That's very cool. I'd love that job!

Playboy at Diva

http://www.diva.net.au/#/shop/ranges/playboy/1http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

The jewellery store, Diva, has a new range of Playboy jewellery. Have a look. For many girls, this kind of shop is their first foray into buying jewellery. Diva knows that selling Playboy merchandise offends some people, but, according to the message at the bottom of their homepage, they don't care.

If you think it is wrong to market porn industry products to young girls, here's what you can do.

Write to Diva here: contact@diva.net.au

You can let them know what you think on their Facebook page.

Phone them: 02 9938 3311 or 1300 348 228http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif


Collective Shout has a petition you can sign.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

http://collectiveshout.org/2011/09/diva-selling-playboy-brand-to-girls/

Or read the post here

http://empowering-girls.blogspot.com/2011/10/sluts-playboy-bunnies-and-little-girls.html

The time warp

This year, has been a strange kind of time warp
At the end of term 1 I felt as if the year was done.
At the end of term 3 I felt as if the term had just begun.
We’ve spent the year lurching from one annual event to the next, interrupted by children’s illnesses. Regularly. Too regularly.

Remember how last holidays I said we were resting, because everyone had been sick, and we wanted to keep the sicknesses at bay? Well, it didn’t work.

This term the children have had four bouts of tonsillitis, we’ve had vomiting, diarrhoea and high temperatures. Banjo fractured both her wrists. She fell off the monkey bars at school. She had one purple cast and one red, which she used to colour co-ordinate her outfits. Matilda fell on her arm but it wasn’t fractured. On the way to the ENT specialist the other day, Banjo vomited on the train. Lovely. She needs to have her tonsils and adenoids out, her ears drained, grommets inserted and the sides of somewhere inside her nose shaved off. She’ll be off school for two weeks (and we need to rethink Christmas, holidays, and anything that involves money.)

This term I’ve done most of my uni readings in doctor’s waiting rooms and at the hospital.

This term all the children had to write and perform speeches. It’s the bane of every family. Matilda’s was on animal rights and food production. Then she decided she’s giving up red meat. Even kangaroo sausages. Now, her dad is vegetarian, so this wasn’t a big step for us, but even so. There are few enough intersections of what the children will eat. Spag bol was a one. Potato Bake. Vietnamese rolls. Homemade pizza. Carrot sticks. Porridge (our resident Scotsman is handy with a spurtle). Pancakes. Apples. That’s about it.

Then I told the children that, being school holidays and me having a uni assignment due, they were in charge of dinner. And voila. Red meat is back on the menu. Clancy made meatballs and pasta in a tomato sauce, and Matilda made Chicken Teriyaki (of a type).

Now, we really are on the home stretch. All the end of year events are coming up. I wonder if it will feel like the end of the year. I’m looking forward to all our duties being dispensed with and we can just relax. I hope.

Unwatchable - Save the Congo

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/sep/28/unwatchable-congo-rape-short-film

A viral film campaign by Save the Congo is causing controversy in the UK. The film is called 'Unwatchable'. Based on the principle that western audiences are desensitised to violence and horror, especially the violence in Africa, the film transposes the story of an African girl being raped to a blonde girl in a market town in Glocestershire. The film depicts the vicious gang rape of the girl and the murder of her parents.

The aim of the film, according to Vava Tampa, director of Save the Congo, is the entirely laudable one of raising awareness about the use of conflict minerals mined in the Congo and used in mobile phones. If you manage to get to the end of the film there are storyboards that spell it out. Rape is used as a tactic of war by militias keen to gain control over valuable mineralshttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif such as tungsten, tin and tantalum.

"You have the power," the film intones, "to demand your mobile phone manufacturer stops using blood minerals." It urges us to "find out more, sign the petition, share this film".

I'm not going to link to the film.Instead I'm linking to the film of the women whose story this is based upon. It is as disturbing as anything you could see or read, but it is the truth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYUsMD3BbZg&feature=related

I've written about women in the DRC and about mining minerals for mobile phones before. Some campaigners say that every mobile phone carries a bit of the war in the Congo. I hope that people will protest what is happening there without having to watch graphic violence, whether that violence be perpetrated on English people in fiction, or on African people in reality.

LadyNerd

Ladynerd is a one woman cabaret by Kiera Daley celebrating smart women. It was presented by Sydney Fringe Festival.



This show is funny. Great singing. Informative. Great LadyNerds celebrated on the night included Marie Curie (research on radioactivity), Hedy Lemarr (Hollywood actress who invented frequency hopping - mobile phones would not work without it), Ada Lovelace (daughter of Lord Byron who wrote the first computer program before computers were made), Bette Nesmith Graham (invented Liquid Paper) and all nerdy women everyone.

Great feminism and great entertainment.

Click
Click
Click
Everytime I click my fingers
Someone
Somewhere
Is putting an apostrophe in the wrong place!

A Dangerous Idea - All Women are Sluts.

I know I said I wouldn’t be going to The Festival of Dangerous Ideas, but my very kind friend Michelle shouted me to join her at two sessions.

The first one was Sleeping with the Enemy: Collaborating with Corporations by Mike Daisy - about how we are all complicit with the rise and power of inhumane corporations and should be fighting a war of resistance against then by socially shunning anyone who works for one. He also does a monologue about Apple and Steve Jobs and factory workers in China.
He had me from the start when he said we were hypocrites - there will be no dangerous ideas for the comfortable middle classes at our lovely Opera House.

And then there was.


The session, All Women Are Sluts.

The panel consisted of: Clem Bastow, writer, broadcaster and music critic based in Melbourne; Samah Hadid is a young human rights advocate and 2010 Australian Youth Representative to the UN; and Catherine Lumby, author, public commentator and Director of Journalism and Media Research at UNSW.
It was chaired by Ann Mossop.

The members of the panel all agreed with each other. They embraced the word 'Slut’, saying, we’re all sluts now; lets empty the word of its power, lets claim it for ourselves (as minorities have done with the word nigger, or queer or dyke), yet were appalled on hearing a teenage girl in the audience say that girls in her school call each other sluts as a way of bullying each other. So, does the word have power or not?

What is the point of having a panel where everyone agrees? The points raised by people in the audience we more interesting than the panelists’.

Sorry, I will not embrace my ‘sluthood’. I think you are all misguided.

What was not covered was how this may affect children. If the word is embraced as something that is a positive thing for women’s identity, does that mean we are happy for children to call each other sluts? No. No-one told the girl she should say, ‘yes I’m a slut and proud of it.’

Samah Hadid said that a rape victim had told her she had recovered because she can embrace the term slut. It is hard to believe.

I’m as against slut shaming and victim blaming as the next feminist, but embracing the word slut is leading us in the wrong direction. Slutwalk did get a conversation started. It has brought younger women into a feminist protest. But it hasn’t been well thought through.

What about women in developing nations who are forced into the sex trade? Would they be happy to identify as sluts? Does slutwalk help them? I don’t see the UN Women calling for more Slutwalks.


And what was it with bagging Reclaim the Night? It has the same message that women should be able to walk down the street at night wearing whatever they like and not be raped. It is a message to men to not rape. Why is that event now not OK? Is it not considered cool by younger feminists? They want something more edgy?

And what is it with bagging out Gail Dines? There is more to the arguments around porn than ‘porn can be fun’ or ‘feminists make porn’. Raunch culture/porn/slut-shaming/rape culture all intersect.


In the advertisement for the new film, Crazy Stupid Love, a male character says something like. ‘The war of the sexes is over. We won when women started doing poledancing for fitness.’ I feel that slutwalk is like that. It shows we’ve given up. It’s not that we’ve lost. We’ve given it away. Why can’t we protest to be respected, but do it in a way that respects ourselves, our children, and women all over the world as well?

I won’t be campaigning for the right for my children to be called sluts. The word should die from disuse. As should any other word that demeans women - bitch, cunt, strumpet, slag, scrubber etc

Slutwalk runs counter to other feminist work. I hope this year’s event will be the last.

So, I’m asking; can we workshop the ideas a little more please, so that the movement doesn’t damage women or children?

Proud Hoydens Take Back the Night, perhaps? Or Take Back the Fucking Night?

I've sent emails to Clem Bastow and Samah Hadid asking if Slutwalk is helpful to children or women in developing countries.

Histories of Motherhood in Australia Conference

http://www.sl.nsw.gov.au/events/events_talks/events/Histories_of_Motherhood_in_Australia.hhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.giftml

This conference is being held at the NSW State Library on Thursday 29 September 2011.
School holidays here.

Let me know if you go.

Sometimes my children surprise me

Sometimes my children surprise me. No, this isn’t a story about how capable they are and how they exceed my expectations.

Sometimes the children say things that cause me to exclaim ‘Are you delirious?’ or ‘Are you trying to be ex-communicated from the family?’

Like when Banjo said ‘ I hate books’ or Clancy said ‘I’m sick of the Beatles’ or, today from Matilda, ‘I don’t care about music’.

Who ARE these people, and what are they doing in my house??

Cordelia Fine's article on Porn in The Monthly

I like Cordelia Fine. I spoke to her at the Growing Up Fast and Furious Conference last year, not knowing she was about to present. I want to read her book Delusions of Gender which is not only well reviewed but considered a book of important ideas. Have a look at her website to see her considerable achievements.

Cordelia Fine wrote the lead article in The Monthly this month. I saw it at the newsagents, and, lucky me, found I could read it for free online, so I'm sharing the link here.

http://www.themonthly.com.au/dehumanising-effects-smut-porn-ultimatum-cordelia-fine-3782

The article describes, explicitly, what happens in porn, so not for the squeamish. She looks at the book Pornland, by Gail Dines and the new anthology edited by Melinda Tankard Reist, Big Porn Inc.


... social norms need to be wrested back from the pornographers, as many contributors to Big Porn Inc are attempting to do, and returned to something more closely aligned with the idea of half the population enjoying as much respect and recognition of their full humanity as the other. It isn’t prudishness that explains why there aren’t endless images of headless men’s bulging crotches on billboards, and prepubescent boys in ‘mankinis’ like little sex objects in training. It’s just … civility. Pornland world-order, in which women exist to titillate men, does not belong in everyday life. In the twenty-first century, Zoo magazine belongs on the front counter of a convenience store about as much as a magazine called Best of Black and White Minstrel Shows.

She ends with a call for a Lysistrata type campaign. Dines says there's no room for porn in a just society. Fine suggests ‘No equality, no porn.’

Interesting.

Christmas gift ideas (or things I like online)

Three months away, I know, but I like to get a jump on ideas for Christmas presents.

We don’t want to bring a whole lot of new stuff into the house. So we shop carefully. Lots of what we buy is second hand. And we try to give gifts of experience.

So here are the ideas on the boil for Christmas this year.

I’m thinking of giving all the kids (and maybe CyberGuy) an annual pass to Luna Park.

Tickets to see the musical Annie.

Matilda is having some extra dance classes.

I’ve bought Clancy some books and kids cds online (I did this when the Australian dollar starting going down). They’re second hand. She helped choose, and included some Horrible Histories books. (I’m stocking up on kids cds that I’ve bought online as gifts for kids for birthday presents too. Partly because it is hard to buy for other people’s kids - they mostly have everything they could want - and partly because there is a gap in the Australian market for cds for kids. Many more available OS than here, and they’re good - we like them.)

Banjo wants some hair accessories and toys for hairstyling. So, I’ll get her that. She wants some more Fancy Nancy books too.

Here are links to some other things I like. I’m not saying I’m getting all these - just that I like them. (I’ll wait and see how the Australian dollar goes...)

I love looking at ModCloth - the retro styles suit me. It’s the site I take my eyes to for a rest. I've already worn lost of these styles, so it's kind of a nostalgic fashion trip for me. Or I've found these styles in op-shops, so I don't need to buy from the site.

However, I do like this bag. There is also a Great Gatsby bag and t shirt.

http://www.modcloth.com/Modcloth/Womens/Accessories/Bags/-Bookshelf-Bandit-Tote-in-J-D

And I love their swimmers.
http://www.modcloth.com/Modcloth/Womens/Swimwear/-In-a-Daze-y-One-Piece

And this hedgehog doormat
http://www.modcloth.com/Modcloth/Apartment/Furnish+Decorate/-Hedge-Sweet-Hog-Doormat


I like these t shirts with Harry Potter slogans. (I like the ‘Keep Calm and Drink Tea’ one too.)

http://www.redbubble.com/people/loveaj/t-shirts/6822052-i-fight-for-house-elf-rights

http://www.redbubble.com/people/wittytees/art/7464682-keep-calm-and-carry-a-wand

http://www.redbubble.com/people/ig-hateyhate/t-shirts/7437908-harry-potter-polyjuice-shirt

And I like the Luna quotes too.


And I like these instructional dance and exercise videos, Some of them are very affordable (and there are some I’d like for myself or might suggest for the dance program at school.)

http://www.activevideos.com/index.php/instructional-dance/kids-dance-exercise-sports.html


I’ll get CyberGuy some books on rock music, or classic rock t shirts.

I’ll get my sisters some finds from op shops that suit them, or maybe a cd each. I’ll ask what they want.

For myself, I only ever want books or cds. I've kept my list of wants on a very large Amazon Wishlist for the last few years - it documents my interests. I know where to keep books and cds in the house - on shelves. (Although I'm just as happy to use the ones at the library.) Tickets to shows are always nice too. And lovely tea. I never want anything else really.

And Christmas shopping is done. That’s it!

Do you have any good ideas for gifts of experience for Christmas?

Are there any online shops you keep coming back to?

This is the kind of nerd I am

Nothing to do with feminist mothering. I could draw a long bow, but I'm not going to bother.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/sep/21/madeline-miller-top-10-classical-books

This conversation is making me nostalgic for hanging out with Classicists at university. I wrote my M. Lit thesis on a feminist rewriting of Cassandra. A friend and I created a student journal for Classics students to publish their works. (We had a crush on Ovid and Catullus). I think I've read all the books mentioned in the post and the comments. All the ancient ones. I can't wait until I can share them with my children.



Just for fun - here are my favourites.

Homer - The Iliad and The Odyssey (of course)

Virgil - The Aeneid (the quest, a guided hero, and Dido)

Ovid - everything (he's such a wag)

Catullus - poems (falling in love, being in love, rejected by love)

Petronius - The Satyricon (the anti-hero - more modern than today)

Apuleius - The Golden Ass (circular storytelling, robbers and thieves and a talking donkey)

Euripides - Medea (a wife's revenge), The Women of Troy (the spoils of war), The Bacchae, Iphigenia in Aulis (sacrifice of Agamemnon's daughter)

Appolonius of Rhodes - The Argonautica ( I love Hypsipyle)

Longus - Daphnis and Chloe (like a fairy tale)

Sophocles - Oedipus The King (the first recorded/extant use of dramatic irony), Antigone (she stand up for what she believes in)

Sappho - poetry (the first recorded/surviving use of the word 'bittersweet')

Aristophanes - Lysistrata (women protesting the war)


My favourite rewriting from ancient myth is Kliest's Penthesilea. (She was Queen of the Amazons.)

OK, I wish I had time to write about feminism in ancient classics. But while I'm writing my assignment for my Dip Ed, this has been a nice distraction to keep me keen to teach. So much fun.

Have you read and enjoyed any other these?

In what way are you a nerd?

10 Campaign to stop child labour on cocoa plantations

Stop the Traffick has joined forces with World Vision and other organisations to campaign against child labour being used on cocoa plantations.

Ten years ago
Ten years ago the global chocolate industry, through its various trade associations, signed the Harkin-Engel Protocol, a 6-point roadmap that was to enable the elimination of the Worst Forms of Child Labour (WFCL) in the cocoa sector of Côte d'Ivoire and Ghana. However, according to Tulane University, mandated by the US government to report on progress on the Protocol from 2006 to 2011, none of the Protocol’s six articles calling for action were fully implemented, and the required industry-wide reform in the cocoa sector has not taken place. Tulane also documented the systemic nature of the problem: an estimated 1.8 million children are working, some in hazardous labor conditions, in the cocoa sector of Côte d'Ivoire and Ghana.

10 Campaign
Major civil society organisations and trade unions working throughout the world on ethical cocoa (including Stop The Traffik, International Labor Rights Forum, World Vision Australia and many others) have joined the campaign to speak with one voice on the occasion of the 10th anniversary of the Protocol. Together they call on national and international legislative bodies to implement key legislation to ensure that companies get the task done.


$1.000.000.000.000
From 2001 to 2011, the global revenue from cocoa products was an estimated USD 1 trillion. However, in order for the elimination of these practices to actually come to pass, clear and strong legislation is needed as the status quo is not acceptable: why should children toil, at the expense of their health, education and sometimes their lives, for an industry so immensely profitable?


You can participate here
http://www.10campaign.com/

New Moon Girls Girl-Caught Campaign

Girls Take a Stand Against Disrespect in the Media

New Moon Girls presents its new Girl-Caught Campaign

09.19.2011– From lingerie for 4-year-olds to “I’m too pretty for math,” T-shirts, girls are bombarded with messages that destroy their self-esteem and self-worth, telling them that they need to be pretty, sexy, and not too smart.

Enough is enough, and New Moon Girls is empowering girls to say, “Stop It!” with the Girl-Caught campaign on Sept. 22, 2011: Day of the Girl to honor this important day.

In the 19 years since New Moon Girls started, sexualization of toys, games, clothes, movies, TV and music marketed to and for under 16-year-olds has increased dramatically. The Girl-Caught campaign site gives girls, boys and adults an empowering way to show and comment on both negative and positive images and messages about girls and women.

New Moon Girls is partnering with Day of the Girl, Mind on the Media, Pigtail Pals, Powered By Girl, School Girls Unite, and Shaping Youth to give girls and others a voice, and spread the word far and wide that we do not have to accept these disrespectful messages anymore, and to increase respect for girls and women in all media.

Make the world better in four easy steps:
1. Go to the Girl-Caught site.
2. Download or print out your own Girl-Caught stickers.
3. Paste them to the negative or positive Girl-Catches you find.
4. Upload them to Girl-Caught!

New Moon Girls is also planning an event in Washington, DC and Congressional offices nationwide to deliver thousands of Girl-Catches to Congress in support of the Healthy Media for Youth Act.

Through Girl-Caught, girls, boys, women, and men can have an impact on the messages girls and women receive from companies and the media today, and shape how they see themselves tomorrow.

http://www.pitchengine.com/newmoongirlmedia/girls-take-a-stand-against-disrespect-in-the-media/174343/

Go girls. And they use pictures from French Vogue as an example of images that are disrespectful to girls. I'm happy for my daughters to be involved in New Moon Girls.

PM baby-wearing

The day the festival dream died

Baby Björn-swaddled David Cameron meets Jeremy Clarkson at Alex James's cheese festival – could it get any worse?

Say cheese: Alex James looks on as Jeremy Clarkson talks to David Cameron at Harvest. Photograph: PA

Behold, a snapshop from last weekend's Harvest festival organised by Alex James.

This, from The Guardian.

Alex James was the guitarist in Blur, now into cheese, apparently.

I just had to share this pic of the British PM wearing his baby. Check how he is expanding his chest, and doesn't touch the baby, as if he's ignoring the fact he is wearing a baby. But anyhoo, good on him for wearing his baby. Can't recall seeing any Australian male politicians wearing a baby pouch.

Motherhood: The Musical - another chance

Motherhood: The Musical is back

Oct 13 -15 at the Seymour Centre, if you missed it the first time around.

Recommended.

Education and Social Justice

All teachers in training in NSW have to cover a unit on social justice. Like me, they are being taught to be conscious of issues such as race, ethnicity and multiculturalism, gender and sexuality, bias in the curriculum, class, the city/country divide, indigenous issues in education, globalisation, ethics and critical thinking.

We are directed to videos such as this one, which challenges what education is all about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U

I’ve noticed teacher, Phil Beadle, who was named Secondary School Teacher of the Year in the UK in 2004 (before becoming a teacher he was a rock musician). He was shown on a reality tv series called The Unteachables, and now writes and speaks about teaching. Everything he says about how to teach (eg, every child has something to offer, you need to get to know what the kids are interested in and tailor the lesson to their interests etc) is what we are being taught. He is, I think, not the exception, but the standard. At least in NSW education training. And he says he teaches for social justice.

Pretty reassuring, isn’t it. That all teachers are covering education in terms of social justice.
And lots of what we cover can also be applied to issues in motherhood studies. Neat.

Mindy Sotiri - Divorce Songs (really, songs about mothering)

I attended this cd launch this week. It was great to hear songs about mothering in an Australian accent, and an Australian context. I'm glad it can be considered rock 'n' roll. Well done Mindy.


“When I first heard the sublime Mindy Sotiri sing about baby monitor static at an inner-city pub, I burst into tears and smudged all my eyeliner. Sure at the time I was a hormonal wreck because I, too, was up all night breastfeeding. But words can't express how amazing, re-assuring and downright subversive it was to witness my new maternal existence making an appearance at an actual live music gig. NO-ONE sings about this stuff. And they SHOULD. Because it's huge and it's important and it can make women crazy if they think they're the only ones going through it. Mindy is not just an outrageously talented musician - she's bringing women's intense private worlds into the public (or at least the pub-y) sphere. And that's as rock as it gets” (Emma Tom, 2010)

“Tender, stark and honest” (The Brag, 2010)

Mindy Sotiri is launching her third album Divorce Songs. Released through Laughing Outlaw Records, Divorce Songs is a close-up look at a long term relationship – it’s grand romantic threads (love, infidelity, ambivalence) set up against the domestic love catastrophe of real life: play groups, sleep deprivation, baby monitor static, sore boobs and toddler snot.
Situated somewhere to the east of Ani Difranco and Suzanne Vega, and occasionally channeling the eminent grumpy old men of folk, Mindy Sotiri makes music from the mess of everyday life. Incisive, direct and occasionally hilarious- this is alt-folk at its best; inventive playing, a unique voice, a cracking and versatile band. And tunes that have something to say.

Divorce Songs evolved in the rare quiet spaces of a busy, boring, and occasionally tumultuous domestic life. Retreating to the bathroom (the only room in the house to have the bonuses of both a lock AND sufficient distance from bedrooms to allow for noisy strumming) Mindy wrote songs while perched on the loo, paper, pens and capos balanced on the edge of the bath, pausing to open the door every 3 minutes to check no-one had woken up and started crying. This approach seemed to work. Babies slept a bit, were fed a lot, and over the space of a couple of years tunes for an album were written.

Australia now has a Global Ambassador for Women and Girls

Penny Williams is the newly appointed Australian Global Ambassador for Women and Girls.


A career diplomat and mother of four from Tasmania, Ms Williams will tackle gender inequality in the Asia Pacific, focus governments' attention on the needs of women after wars and conflict, and ensure Australia's aid dollars are helping to tackle maternal deaths and domestic violence.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/national/first-ambassador-for-women-calls-on-australia-to-lead-change-20110913-1k7vc.html#ixzz1XsbBAwTK


Good news.

My questions to Q&A for tonight

I've sent these questions in for tonight's show. I'll let you know if they're shortlisted.

Melinda Tankard Reist

You lobby for respectful images of women in the media. In spite of decades of talking about gender issues, and women’s rights, women and girls are disrespected by images on billboards, and now also on t shirts. A few years ago the NSW Police Commissioner said that women are fundamentally disrespected in our society. What is it going to take to change our culture so that women are fundamentally respected?

Melinda Tankard Reist

At the end of each year we read stories about dance concerts where scantily clad little girls are bumping and grinding. My family was asked to leave our dance school when I suggested that having children dance to songs about sex when they don’t know it is about sex is exploitation. How do we educate dance schools to be more aware of their gendered messages, and to have more respect for children?

Prof Greer

You once said that mothers need a union. Given the aims of the women's movement have not been met - we still don't value care work, we don't equally share domestic work and women are not fairly represented in positions of power - how can we activate mothers for social change?


There is a limit of 80 words for the questions, so you have to keep it snappy. You can submit your questions here:

http://www.abc.net.au/tv/qanda/ask-question.htm

Naomi Stadlen, who wrote What Mothers Do, Especially When it Looks Like Nothing, has a new book

Naomi Stadlen: 'With mothering you can always put things right, make things better' Photograph: Graham Turner for the Guardian

Naomi Stadlen likes mothers. She has written two books with the word in the title: What Mothers Do, Especially When it Looks Like Nothing and her latest one, How Mothers Love and How Relationships are Born. She has for 20 years run weekly Mothers Talking meetings, at which she chats with mothers about the sort of week they have had, spring-boarding various discussions. She is a mother of three and a grandmother of two. I don't think to ask how old she is as it doesn't seem to matter; she is in the "wise" category. She's an existential psychotherapist, so I know she is careful with words because she understands the weight they carry. Her answer to the question "Why are you obsessed with mothers?" is unexpected. "I come from a line of problematic mothers." Oh....

"For too long, mothers have let other people dominate the way motherhood is framed and seen and now, for the first time, there is a much bigger generation of mothers who are educated to question all these things that have been said about them. But they don't. You have these people say to you, 'I'd rather be nice to my baby than not, but the books tell me I'm not a firm enough mother.'"

Whereas what mothers do is actually more scientific – and less anecdotal – than they realise...

"Everyone says 'parenting' these days," she gently chides, as I tell her an anecdote about a mother, but use the word parenting. "What's wrong with the word mothering?"

From here http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/sep/10/mothering-parents-naomi-stadlen-psychotherapist

Reading aloud to your child

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/sep/10/alice-ozma-dad-read-every-night

A book written by 23 year old Alice Ozma about her dad reading to her ever night from the ages 9 -to 18, when she left home. Only Alice and her dad lived in the family home and the fact of reading together gave them a connection, and a language they could share. It's a lovely story.

Reminds me to turn off the tv, and get back to reading nightly to the kids.

Missrepresentation - a film about how women are portrayed in the media

Thanks to Joan for sharing this. A trailor for a new film from the US called Missrepresentation about how powerful women are portrayed in the media, and how this impacts on young people. Have a look.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2UZZV3xU6Q&feature=related

Whatever the media do badly, they could do well. Time for a change.

There is also a website where people who support the ideas in the film are asked to take action by speaking out about demeaning representations of women and girls.

http://www.missrepresentation.org/home.html

Part of what I've done to encourage change is supporting New Moon Girls. This is a feminist magazine for girls that exists online and in hardcopy that is created by and for girls. My eleven year old daughter has a subscription and enjoys participating in the site, including safe online chat. It is run from the US by mums who became the change they wanted to see.

http://www.newmoon.com/

More women onto Boards - a good move.

Just how business would channel the 55 per cent of university graduates who were women into career pathways to the senior executive ranks, and boards, demanded a cultural shift.

''We talk a lot about female role models, and they are very important,'' Ms Hewson said.

''But the real key to this would be male role models working flexible hours, taking their share of leaving early to pick up the children two days a week. A male role model at the chief executive or chairman level is incredibly powerful...''

ONE OF Australia's most powerful female company directors, Carolyn Hewson, has a message. If women are to participate fully in corporate life, Australia must embrace the nanny culture.

''We do not have a nanny culture in this country, and it severely hampers us - and I speak here from personal and desperate experience,'' the former investment banker told the Women in Banking and Finance forum.

''In Asia, and in Europe, there's a much more appropriate nanny culture,'' she said.

Getting more women onto boards is a move in the right direction, for a lot of reasons. And it looks like it is happening.

The boardroom blitz was an election commitment of the government. It set a target that by 2015, boards were to have no more than 60 per cent of either gender. In June last year, women comprised 34.5 per cent of members of all government boards...

The increasing demand for female board members has been driven by the Australian Securities Exchange's new gender diversity policy.

The Australian Institute of Company Directors recently reported that this year, women accounted for nearly 30 per cent of new board appointments in ASX 200 companies - a 600 per cent increase on 2009 when they accounted for 7.5 per cent of appointments.

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/executive-style/executive-women/bring-in-a-nanny-army-to-move-women-into-boardrooms-says-hewson-20110907-1jxvl.html#ixzz1XJVQgTTd

Setting targets. Male executives being seen as parents with care responsibilities. Nannies. We're ready. Lets go.

Send a question to Q&A

Next Monday night both Germaine Greer and Melinda Tankard Reist are on the panel for Q&A. That's exciting. I've been in the audience when Germaine Greer has appeared on the show before. The producers liked a question I submitted and paid for my cab fare so I could attend. I didn't get to ask my question in the end, but I really enjoyed being there.

With two active feminists on the show, this is a good opportunity to submit a question. Send a question you really want to know the answer to, or send a question to draw attention to your burning issue. A good opportunity to talk about mothering and feminism, protecting children, social policy or work/life balance.

You might want to ask something about the issues Melinda Tankard Reist works with on Collective Shout.

http://collectiveshout.org/


The link to the ABC website is here:

http://www.abc.net.au/tv/qanda/


I'll see what I can come up with and submit a few questions. I'm looking forward to watching next week's show.

Dancing to the wrong song - here we go again!

The dance groups at our school are pretty popular. We’re lucky that we have the teachers who are prepared to teach these groups in their own time, and that they are so well supported. We are even having a special dance showcase night where the dance groups will perform and individual dancers can perform solos or their own performance pieces in small groups (Matilda is doing a ballet solo to Sleeping Beauty).

However, there is still a problem with the choices of the male teacher who takes the senior boys dance group. He has been teaching the boys a dance to Sweat, by Snoop Dogg and David Guetta. The dance includes an appearance by a young girl. The whole idea is just wrong wrong wrong. The teacher has been told by the head of the dance program to change the song, but the problem remains that the teacher thought it was ok. He originally wanted to use an Eminem song, but edit out some lyrics. Still wrong.

I know someone who works for the Dep’t of Ed Arts Unit, who says that if a group wants to perform at a State performance, they must submit the lyrics to the song. This song would not pass. Some schools run the lyrics by the Principal before beginning work on the dance. I think this is what we need to organise.

But the point I want to write across the sky is this: if the children think the song is about one thing, but the audience knows it is about sex, that is exploitation. That isn’t respectful. That isn’t ok. And I’m not prepared to let that happen.

I need to have a chat with the dance teacher, or ask that the head of the program or the Principal explain why choosing to dance to songs about sex (and the stereotyped depictions of gender, power, and relationships), and have children perform those dances in public, is wrong. But I also need to approach this carefully. Wish me luck.

Fashion Faux Pas

About ten years ago I saw a colour and style consultant. It means I know what colours suit me (deep jewel colours and icy tones), and what styles (scoop neck over v neck, sweetheart neckline best). It means I can swoop into an opshop and quickly identify any decent options by colour, feel of fabric (fabric must breathe), style and size. For many clothing shops I know there is no point entering because there is nothing inside for me. It was a good investment; one I wish I had made earlier.

Last week, feeling that spring has sprung, I was looking for my pink shoes with the flowers on them. I bought them about two years ago and had never worn them, but decided this was the day. I couldn’t find them. I must have given them away, in the cold of winter, feeling that, being mid-forties, I’m too old to wear cute clothes and pink flowered shoes.

I want those shoes back!

My fashion faux pas these days is giving away clothes then later regretting it. I regret giving away the long dress I made. After having three kids it would have fit well with a good bra and a pair of spanx. Why didn’t I think of that? I now have no garments that I have made in my wardrobe. I’ve given them all away. I regret giving away the blue polka dot dress. And the steel blue tencel pants. And the yellow mini-cardi that tied up under the bust, Regency style. So cute. I regret giving away my grandmother’s dress. I’ve never again seen a dress cut like that. And my mothers’ Fletcher Jones skirts I gave to a French exchange student. What was I thinking? I gave away the clothes that weren’t practical to wear while breastfeeding, or cooking with toddlers underfoot. How short-sighted of me. No long dresses or flared long sleeves in my wardrobe anymore.

I wish I had time to style each day. My fashion sense as a teenager and young adult was ‘theatrical’. I went to fashion school. I made my own clothes at a time when it was cheaper to do so. Now clothes are so cheap, there isn’t much point. Clothes at an opshop could cost more than new, but they’re more interesting, and, for me, buying from a charity shop is more ethical. When the children were younger I was in danger of my main fashion influence being Hi-5. Now, my main fashion influence is Lionel Shriver, because, she says, she wears the same thing for a week. That’s what I do. The truth is, I don’t have time for anything else. Every day I wear a bag that crosses my upper body, so my hands are free when we’re out and about. It’s very practical. Not very fashionable.

I care about fashion. Not high fashion but day to day wearable fashion. I just look like I don’t. But I don't want to look like I've given up (a reference to my partner's comment when I popped on a big blue poncho). Wearing all black now makes me look like an Italian widow. I'm taking a cue from Cherie, by Collette, where Cherie says softer pinks are kinder when you age. Will I be an eccentric-looking old person, when I have more time to be stylish? Do I have to wait? I don't want to wear tight clothes, or lots of accesories or anything crazy. I don't want to go all Carrie Bradshaw. But can I still wear cute clothes in my mid-forties, or would that be mutton dressed as lamb?

Shamelessly promoting the work of friends

Yes, this post is shamelessly promoting the work of friends. Simple as that.

Anyone who makes their own work, pursues their ideas and talents, is someone I'm happy to support.

My friend, Paul Barry, an actor who lives in LA, is putting together a project to make a documentary about his finance's grandmother, and her experience in Poland during WWII.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/wisiasstory/wisias-story


My friend, Sophie Ruggles, who now lives in Barcelona, has made a cookbook and blogs about cooking. Her book is the book I needed when I first started feeding my kids, because I was clueless. It's a really good book. We met as teenagers. I remember when she was a single mum with a toddler she made sandwiches to sell to local businesses. She has always had a lot of initiative and drive and creativity.

http://www.suddenlycooking.com/


Joan Garvan is President of the Australian branch of MIRCI (Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement). She recently was awarded her PhD from ANU, and has put together this site of resources re mothering.

http://www.maternalhealthandwellbeing.com/


Heidi Goh has written and illustrated a children’s book called York’s Universe. It is being launched at Better Read Than Dead at Newtown in September.



Rebekka Neville is a jazz singer. We met years ago at jazz workshops. She sings as part of a duo, trio, quartet. She's now also in my babysitting club.

http://rebekkaneville.com.au/

http://www.myspace.com/rebekkaneville


The Jessamine cd launch is happening tonight. I met Jess when she was eleven. My share house was next door to her family home, and the households kind of merged. While at school Jess and her friends formed the band Nitocris. She now fronts her own band, Jessamine (and, yes, that's her real name.)

http://www.liveguide.com.au/Tours/703723/Jessamine/Jessamine_Album_Launch_Tour_2011

http://www.myspace.com/jesseleven


Bunny Hoopstar, our hoop teacher, has contributed to this book, Amongst Sisters, which is being launched in Marrickville this month.

http://amongstsisters.wordpress.com/


I have other friends who have started and run their own businesses, but that's enough for now. Well done all!

Fast Food with No Toys

You may have heard in the news last week that KFC will no longer be inlcuding toys in their kids' meals. Good move. Junk Busters is running a campaign to ask the other fast food busineses to follow suit. Says Parents Jury 'This is a first for Australian fast food chains, after several US cities, including San Francisco banned toys from children’s fast food meals earlier this year.'

You can add your voice here:

http://junkbusters.com.au/act-now/

I mentioned the environmental cost of all these toys going to landfill. Really, no-one needs them.

And they market M rated movies to children, as if those movies are suitable for children, when they're not. So, the sooner the toys go, the better.

Changing Face

When I was about ten years old, I had four teeth removed. My teeth were coming in crooked, and there wasn’t enough room for them all, so teeth were pulled. That ‘s just they way it was done back then.

Now, the philosophy has changed. You don’t pull teeth if you really don’t need to. You expand the jaw to make room for the teeth. And you get braces.

All three of my kids are likely to need expanders and braces. I’ve been asking the orthodontist we’ve been visiting about the change in policy. She’s just keeping an eye on the kids to see when is the right time to start intervening and doesn’t charge until the process starts. To her credit she has told us that we don’t need treatment. No-one died from having crooked teeth. But I’m well aware that people are judged on appearance, and having straight teeth does matter. She’s assured me that although the children’s faces will change, she won’t let them look like they aren’t my children anymore. Thanks. I’ve asked my dentist too. Why the change in policy? He told me that, because I’ve had four teeth removed, I have unsupported lips. Unsupported lips. I spent the next day wondering how my life would have been different if I’d had supported lips. My face would have been different if I had kept all my teeth. And, being in my mid forties now, I’m aware that your teeth do start to deteriorate and the longer you can keep your own teeth the better.

So, intervention either way changes the shape of your face. Is it better to expand the jaw and make the teeth fit, or remove teeth to allow room for them to be straight? Or to just accept crooked teeth and not mess with the shape of your face?

Strange how I wouldn’t dye my children’s hair, or tattoo them, but I’m prepared to change the structure of their faces.

At the moment, we’ll be going with expanders and braces.